Damaged the car

Susiewakie you've made the right decision.
So sorry your test results weren't good news and I agree you have bigger things to worry about now xx

Are you really that worried about his reaction ? If so keep quiet.

Quick update the car scratch barely shows I've decided to say nothing .The test outcomes weren't good I've enough to deal with atm .I got my best friend to go and have a look and where I reversed there is a post with scratches on .It's a emergency entrance for vehicles from car park very awkward to turn ( as I now know ) It's not 1949 but my DH would mention it forever .Obviously if I'd badly damaged it or hit another car etc would have fessed up

V3ra

Will the damage to the car need repairs that he will claim on his insurance?
If so bear in mind that he will have to declare it next time he renews the policy.

I got my previous car stuck on a bollard in a tightly packed busy car park, trying to manoeuvre out of my space and avoid the other cars (which I did!)
I had to claim as it was a big repair.
The lady at the insurance company asked,
"Whose fault was this accident?"
"Whoever put that stupid bollard there in the first place," I replied.
"Fair enough," she said 😂

Exactly the same here, it still cost me a claim on insurance, excess plus some NCB

And the damage to the car was a result of stress too.

Just be relieved you didn't write the car off or hit a child.

If you think your DH will be horrible about the truth and you are frightened about that, then don't tell him and just get the car fixed. You only told a lie because you were highly stressed. Forgive yourself.

Will the damage to the car need repairs that he will claim on his insurance?
If so bear in mind that he will have to declare it next time he renews the policy.

I got my previous car stuck on a bollard in a tightly packed busy car park, trying to manoeuvre out of my space and avoid the other cars (which I did!)
I had to claim as it was a big repair.
The lady at the insurance company asked,
"Whose fault was this accident?"
"Whoever put that stupid bollard there in the first place," I replied.
"Fair enough," she said 😂

If he goes off the deep end he deserves not to be told the truth!

My wife would own up straight away, which is always best, but you have to judge whether a little bump is worth a big row when a white lie would avoid it.

Life is not black and white

Is the damage much ?
Why not be vague and say wonder how that happened I wonder if it was when I went to the hospital it was terribly crowded and busy in the car park
Kind of half way house

Would he be worried about telling you if he had damaged the car ? If the answer is no then ask yourself why you are so worried about telling him .
This 2024 not 1949! Just tell him and if he reacts badly then remind him you would be more sympathetic if he had bumped the car. I do understand how you feel though and if you believe he will react badly then he deserves not to be told . It really is not a matter of owning up , you are not a child who kicked a ball through the sitting room window - you made a mistake , who hasn't!? Having said that you are obviously worried so perhaps keep quiet , fabricate a story and forget about it. If you are scared of his reaction he does not deserve the truth. Don't stress about it , do what is best for you and good luck.

In theory you shouldn't be afraid to tell him. In practice, life isn't always that simple. If you think he's going to make your life a misery because of this very trivial incident, just don't tell him. What does it matter in the whole scheme of things?

If you hit something, you really should have checked what it was

And you really shouldn't be worried about your husband's reaction, accidents happen and if he will get angry or make you feel bad that is not ok

MissInterpreted

Norah

MissInterpreted

How can you possibly know it would have no impact on their relationship?

Because it shouldn't. Perhaps that is what I should have said - decent spouses aren't impacted by such small nonsense.

No, it shouldn't. But I can think of a few who would absolutely go off the deep end if something like that happened.

Perhaps they need to reset their relationships. In our relationship I'm willing to admit my faults, as is he - I'm not a lesser being.

I may be a sahm, but he cooks as well, knows how to do the washing up, lay the table, run the dyson, mow the grass - he's capable as am I - and an equal partner in all old possessions.

No, just no, to sexist attitudes.

Has he never damaged the car? I damaged the car reversing out of parking space there was a piece of wood which I hadnt sern. Went straight home and told dh. It is a hunk of metal. No person hurt is all that matters. He has a classic car.

MissInterpreted
Mine went off the deep end once. I haven’t admitted any since.
But, when he crashed one of our cars my reaction was its only a car, nobody died

I would be more concerned about what I might have hit. More likely to be a vehicle surely in a car park?

I would have owned up straight away as there would be no reason not to, as my husband wouldn’t react badly.
If you are worried and stressed about it then honesty is probably the best policy for your peace of mind.

Presumably it makes no difference to the repair needed no matter how and by whom the damage was caused. If you think your husband will go on and on about it you could just go on keeping quiet about it and forget it. No great harm in that. Least said…

Or just say as though just thought of that Maybe after all it happened without you realising ‘that time at the hospital’ when you were preoccupied with getting to your apptmnt on time.

If you dont want to simply own up wait until you either go to the car park again or have reason to talk about the blood test, then say OMG that has reminded me, I hit a post and must have been stressed as have only just remembered.

Norah

MissInterpreted

How can you possibly know it would have no impact on their relationship?

Because it shouldn't. Perhaps that is what I should have said - decent spouses aren't impacted by such small nonsense.

No, it shouldn't. But I can think of a few who would absolutely go off the deep end if something like that happened.

The O/P wants to tell him, I couldn't keep it a secret, prickly conscience....

I hit my Husband car a few years ago, going out of our drive, I was simply not checking enough.
Never to this day, have I fessed up.. Not a word.
My neighbour spotted the "Dink" I blamed a car park and told him to be careful where he parks.
Me I would let sleeping dogs...

MissInterpreted

How can you possibly know it would have no impact on their relationship?

Because it shouldn't. Perhaps that is what I should have said - decent spouses aren't impacted by such small nonsense.

I have to say I would keep quiet. If you tell him what good will it do.

Was it a post you bumped into?