Damaged the car

Susiewakie

Hi how do I gracefully backtrack ? 2 weeks ago in desperation took a blood test appointment at little local hospital about 9 miles away .Got there much later than expected in a total tizz as blood test important. Round and round no spaces saw a elevated bit went up there loads of kids around on mini scooters skateboards etc .Another car came out so I reversed up looking at the kids heard a bit of a bump thought it was a post .Anyway no spaces went back down left car in drop off and ran in .Later DH says someone's damaged the car ! I panicked instead of saying me I said car park was packed etc. Stupid me I'm worried and stressed over how to own up this late ?? Help

Well the best way though probs not the easiest is to rip off the plaster, in other words just tell him the truth otherwise you are just getting yourself all worked up about this.
We all get ourselves in a muddle and say the wrong things on the spur of the moment. Am pretty sure your DH has done similar.
Just calmly tell him and then say how badly you have felt for not saying something sooner, that it has been preying on your mind. Which it has.
Nobody was hurt and the car can be fixed.
All the best.

Just tell him the full story Susie, you'll feel better for it.

I suppose it depends on how you think he will react. It is worth the repercussions in order to get it off your chest, or would you be better off keeping quiet.

Wise and kind advice there. Otherwise it will linger and maybe fester between you.

I don't know if DH is the sort that will get angry, some blokes are about cars,

Say you may feel angry about this but... you made a genuine error of judgement when you were very stressed. Good luck.

That's a shame! If it's weighing on your mind then tell him - somehow- but you could just avoid that carpark another time.

Certainly your husband is pleased you're not hurt. Rip off the plaster, tell him, don't worry, no impact on your relationship.

How can you possibly know it would have no impact on their relationship?

Was it a post you bumped into?

I have to say I would keep quiet. If you tell him what good will it do.

MissInterpreted

How can you possibly know it would have no impact on their relationship?

Because it shouldn't. Perhaps that is what I should have said - decent spouses aren't impacted by such small nonsense.

I hit my Husband car a few years ago, going out of our drive, I was simply not checking enough.
Never to this day, have I fessed up.. Not a word.
My neighbour spotted the "Dink" I blamed a car park and told him to be careful where he parks.
Me I would let sleeping dogs...

The O/P wants to tell him, I couldn't keep it a secret, prickly conscience....

Norah

MissInterpreted

How can you possibly know it would have no impact on their relationship?

Because it shouldn't. Perhaps that is what I should have said - decent spouses aren't impacted by such small nonsense.

No, it shouldn't. But I can think of a few who would absolutely go off the deep end if something like that happened.

If you dont want to simply own up wait until you either go to the car park again or have reason to talk about the blood test, then say OMG that has reminded me, I hit a post and must have been stressed as have only just remembered.

Presumably it makes no difference to the repair needed no matter how and by whom the damage was caused. If you think your husband will go on and on about it you could just go on keeping quiet about it and forget it. No great harm in that. Least said…

Or just say as though just thought of that Maybe after all it happened without you realising ‘that time at the hospital’ when you were preoccupied with getting to your apptmnt on time.

I would be more concerned about what I might have hit. More likely to be a vehicle surely in a car park?

I would have owned up straight away as there would be no reason not to, as my husband wouldn’t react badly.
If you are worried and stressed about it then honesty is probably the best policy for your peace of mind.

MissInterpreted
Mine went off the deep end once. I haven’t admitted any since.
But, when he crashed one of our cars my reaction was its only a car, nobody died

Has he never damaged the car? I damaged the car reversing out of parking space there was a piece of wood which I hadnt sern. Went straight home and told dh. It is a hunk of metal. No person hurt is all that matters. He has a classic car.

MissInterpreted

Norah

MissInterpreted

How can you possibly know it would have no impact on their relationship?

Because it shouldn't. Perhaps that is what I should have said - decent spouses aren't impacted by such small nonsense.

No, it shouldn't. But I can think of a few who would absolutely go off the deep end if something like that happened.

Perhaps they need to reset their relationships. In our relationship I'm willing to admit my faults, as is he - I'm not a lesser being.

I may be a sahm, but he cooks as well, knows how to do the washing up, lay the table, run the dyson, mow the grass - he's capable as am I - and an equal partner in all old possessions.

No, just no, to sexist attitudes.

If you hit something, you really should have checked what it was

And you really shouldn't be worried about your husband's reaction, accidents happen and if he will get angry or make you feel bad that is not ok

In theory you shouldn't be afraid to tell him. In practice, life isn't always that simple. If you think he's going to make your life a misery because of this very trivial incident, just don't tell him. What does it matter in the whole scheme of things?

Would he be worried about telling you if he had damaged the car ? If the answer is no then ask yourself why you are so worried about telling him .
This 2024 not 1949! Just tell him and if he reacts badly then remind him you would be more sympathetic if he had bumped the car. I do understand how you feel though and if you believe he will react badly then he deserves not to be told . It really is not a matter of owning up , you are not a child who kicked a ball through the sitting room window - you made a mistake , who hasn't!? Having said that you are obviously worried so perhaps keep quiet , fabricate a story and forget about it. If you are scared of his reaction he does not deserve the truth. Don't stress about it , do what is best for you and good luck.

Is the damage much ?
Why not be vague and say wonder how that happened I wonder if it was when I went to the hospital it was terribly crowded and busy in the car park
Kind of half way house

My wife would own up straight away, which is always best, but you have to judge whether a little bump is worth a big row when a white lie would avoid it.

Life is not black and white