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Do you envy slim/thin friends who look great in charity shop bargains.

(89 Posts)
merlotgran Wed 21-Aug-24 11:25:09

I’m a size 14/16 and a friend of mine is a size 10. She has always looked thin rather than slim but her family is all the same. She has teenage DGDs who look like catwalk models despite eating like horses. Am I envious?? Yep!

The other day we nipped into a charity shop mainly to browse the bookshelves but ended up rifling through the clothes rails (as you do)

She picked a few things at random whilst I hummed and haa’d to myself over one item - a rather nice striped shirt. We didn’t try anything on.

Later that evening my friend sent me some selfies having tried on all the clothes. She looked amazing - everything fitted beautifully, the colours suited her and you would never think she was wearing charity shop bargains.

So…I sent her a pic of me wearing my shirt - looking like I’d just stepped out of a charity shop! 😭

It’s a nack. It’s got to be a nack. 😂😂

gulligranny Sat 31-Aug-24 21:54:11

I'm far too old at nearly 79 to be worrying about body envy! I've always carried too much weight from an early age but I never envied my skinny, wear-anything cousins (I loved them) or indeed anyone who is thin.

I am myself; I wear nice clothes that suit me, and I don't waste time wishing I was a different size or shape, although I would have liked a few extra inches on my height as it would be so useful to be able to reach things on high shelves in shops.

Georgesgran Sat 31-Aug-24 21:13:03

My DD2 says to eat more cake, because fat people are harder to kidnap! 😂

NotSpaghetti Sat 31-Aug-24 20:13:41

I do find that the offering in charity shops is a bit on the frumpy side when you get into the larger sizes.

I don't feel envious of smaller people but I do often find things in charity shops which would suit me if only they were bigger!

Janetashbolt Sat 31-Aug-24 20:06:57

I am so very shallow I am jealous of anyone size 12 or under.

00opsidia Fri 23-Aug-24 21:18:06

Do you envy....no.

I agree with Marmight. After a couple of near death experiences this year already, I'm fortunate to be alive. It really puts things in persective. I'm happy to be here, wearing my favourite colors.

Marmight Fri 23-Aug-24 17:36:41

I’ve come to the conclusion that you are what you are and unless the weight is so great it has an effect on health, then just go with it. I am 14/16. I lost a lot of weight recently with pancreatitis and then heart surgery. I wasn’t eating and now I am and everyone tells me how healthy I am looking (heaven knows what I looked like before 😲). A number of my friends are skinny malinkies and, no, I’m not envious. No bottoms , no waists, a bit ‘boney’, just straight up and down and they’re always cold. Sure they look good in their size 8/10 outfits, charity or otherwise, but so do I in my larger versions. Life is too short to worry about aesthetics. I should know having come close to not having one!

Soozikinzi Fri 23-Aug-24 17:18:24

Yes I know exactlyvwhat you mean . But also there are some people who carry more weight than me but suit their weight if you know what I mean . Whereas I dont- I just look like someone who should be slimmer !

62Granny Fri 23-Aug-24 16:36:23

I just envy naturally slim people, especially when you know they eat what they want, while you put on a pound just looking at a lettuce leaf. 🙄
My DH is naturally slim always has been so is his sister and their late mother. His brother on the other hand is much more prone to weight gain .

00opsidia Fri 23-Aug-24 16:16:35

Back in the day Trinny and Susannah wrote books on how to dress well for your figure, so if even it is a knack, it's definitely a learned knack that anyone can learn.

The young people of today could tell us a thing or two about Body positivity and self love. It's worth reading up and working on being comfortable in our own skin.

Eirlys Fri 23-Aug-24 15:13:06

Six years ago I followed the 5@2 set and lost over a stone easily and speedily. I have maintained this weight by trying to not eat after 6.30 p.m and going without breakfast the following morning. The late lovely Dr Mosley thought of this as 16 hour fasting period. I don't miss breakfast so find this easy to follow. I am under 5 foot and weigh around 7 stone 3. I used to buy from charity shops and jumble sales because I love a bargain. Because I am now old my daughter keeps an eye out for items for me.

Grandyma Fri 23-Aug-24 14:42:02

I’ve gone from a size 14 to a size 8/10, lost over 2 stone and I hate it. I had a wardrobe full of clothes I loved, they are all far too big for me now. I’m trying to regain the weight I’ve lost but just can’t regain appetite I once had. I’m skin & bone, look frail & hate looking in the mirror. I had a heart attack caused by a large blood clot late last year & spent weeks in hospital. I would give anything to be a strong, healthy size 14 again. Trying to gain weight is just as difficult as trying to lose it.

Sago Fri 23-Aug-24 13:37:36

I agree it’s about wearing it well.
Know what suits you and wear with confidence.

I have a good friend who loved a dress I had, she wanted it so much and asked if I would be happy for her to get the same dress.
I had no issue as we don’t even live in the same county.

I went with her to buy said dress, she put it on and we both fell about in the fitting room, she looked a b****r in it!

We are not dissimilar in size, shape and colouring so it was a revelation!

00opsidia Fri 23-Aug-24 12:43:06

Good for you Biglouis.

I'd say a lot is wearing your best palette of colors and the way you hold yourself. Posture is everything. Body positivity is everything. Making the most of what we have and not negatively comparing ourselves to another person is the best way. As my MIL would say "you're a long time dead" so make the best of it.

biglouis Fri 23-Aug-24 11:14:19

When I was a girl/young woman I had a friend who was slimmer than I and would have looked glamerous in a bin bag. I also had a very pretty younger sister. There was a time when I longed to be "pretty".

My very wise grandmother taught me that its a mistake to envy "pretty" women. She taught me that "plain girls" can make a lot of themselves if they take the trouble. I grew to be 5 ft 8 ins (which is tall for a woman) and knew how to use my height. I learned to walk into a room as though I owned it, even if I knew no one there.

I will never be a sweet little old lady. I prefer to be a tall and impressive one.

00opsidia Fri 23-Aug-24 02:31:15

The most important thing anyone can do is make sure they are wearing the right colors as no matter your size or shape, you'll always look amazing if you find your right colors. Remember Color me Beautiful? My Mum had a consultation to find hers, but I bought the book second hand and worked it out myself because I'm more careful with money.

sazz1 Thu 22-Aug-24 21:25:09

I'm a lot thinner now so have the opposite problem to many here. My hips and bum are narrow but my waist is quite wide. Can't wear hipster trousers as they would hang on me, and fall down
Just don't have much of an appetite anymore and I'm around 7.5stone now. Used to be a 14 size now a 10. Always shop in charity shops or on eb. but clothes seem to hang on me instead of fitting well.

Cocomac Thu 22-Aug-24 19:26:54

A few of my friends can look amazing just by throwing a scarf around their neck or shoulders! It’s a skill I simply don’t have, never did. Yes, I do love but envy them.

Spencer2009 Thu 22-Aug-24 18:41:55

Ime lucky to be a size 8/10 and have found some amazing clothes in charity shops. I think it’s how you put an outfit together that really can make you look and feel good about how you look.

GrannyGroves Thu 22-Aug-24 18:33:21

I'm a few pounds heavier than I'd like to be, but if I told you my weight you'd all say "Gosh I wish I could be that weight!" However, due to being born with Scoliosis, I'm only 4 ft 6 in, so yes I wish was slimmer, but my two Bezzies are also more rounded than they'd like to be! I'm sorry if this sounds snooty - which I'm not, but I never buy clothes from charity shops. I do shop at Primark though and online at SHEIN - bought some lovely dresses from there!
I'm careful with what I eat and do try to lose it, but it gets harder the older you get. The main thing is to enjoy your life the way you are!

CazB Thu 22-Aug-24 17:53:53

I am a size 14 and neither fat nor thin, though I have fairly large hips and thighs. At 75 I have accepted my shape and don't envy slimmer friends now.

Cambsnan Thu 22-Aug-24 16:50:05

Your friend is confident and loves herself just the way she is. If you could copy that you would feel and look great whatever your size.

Labradora Thu 22-Aug-24 16:47:11

Georgesgran

I just envy slim/thin friends.
Period.

You nailed it.
My solid Irish bones have one message for the Universe
"add fat to me".
And , if I'm not constantly vigilant , that's what happens.
I try not to let the envy show......

HeavenLeigh Thu 22-Aug-24 16:15:26

No I don’t feel envious about anyone’s body! I’ve worked very hard to lose 3 stone despite steriods, I’ve got some fantastic clothes from charity shops and loads of others that I have bought from new, I actually think anyone can look good despite their size having worked in clothes shops for many years and as beauty consultant too, I think if you start with the right hairstyle for your face and work down chose your clothes wisely anyone can look great. Get to know your styles and the colours that suit you and go for it,

Seajaye Thu 22-Aug-24 16:01:02

I sometimes buy in charity shops ( as our high street is full.of them with other stores closing down regularly). The key to finding a bargain that looks good is the same as buying new clothes but involves more luck as the perfect item might not be in your size or colour so you need to walk away. . You need to establish what colours, styles, lengths suit your complexion and build, and which brand sizes fit you well. Do not buy cheap makes that are made out of cheap fabrics or expensive makes that are over worn and bobby. Be discerning and only buy items looks in good condition that will compliment the rest of your wardrobe.. Ask yourself would I buy this if it were new? Do not deviate from these rules. if the colour style or size or fit is wrong, it's never going to look good.

Jaxjacky Thu 22-Aug-24 15:59:06

Most charity shops local to me have items in different size groups, 10/1214 etc so they’re easy to look through.