Caught speeding-again

I wouldn’t be able to be with a man that broke the law like this. It’s irresponsible and selfish. There are so many entitled drivers on the road. I was in roadworks on a dual carriageway yesterday and the speed limit was 50. I was overtaken by an HGV!! I don’t understand why people think that rules don’t apply to them, just everyone else.

Make an appointment with a morgue, take him in, show him the mangled dead bodies of innocent victims who have been run over or smashed up in vehicles by speeders, tell him that one day it might be HIM laying there if he's speeding and smashes in to something!

Perhaps suggest he undertakes the Advanced Driving Course? (On the grounds that it's "something he might enjoy"? Even imply that it's a special gift/treat?) Then - hopefully - someone else (qualified) will be telling him! Just an idea.

I am a cautious driver who always abides by the speed limits. But most people break them! It's why I hate driving on motorways now or on remote country roads. I 🤔 because people get away with it most of the time now, it has became accepted behaviour. I keep to the speed limit as I once witnessed the aftermath of a fatal crash. It has made me cautious for life. Sorry don't know what to suggest really.

Jaxjacky

The courts have discretion.

looking at that chart - if you are doing 39 in a 20 zone, generally round schools and the likes, IMO the points should be compulsory, not a choice of a few days. I Dont object so much to 75 -80 on a motorway ( in a 70 zone) though I don't do it myself.

I am very cautious in housing schemes being the mother of a child that was knocked down by a car when he was 6, it is probably the most horrible feeling I have had as a parent, and would hate to be responsible for some other parent feeling like that.

I agree you are never going to change him, he obviously doesn't think the rules are there to apply to him, and agree with others I would not be a passenger in a car he was driving.
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It sounds to me as if your DH has always done this, so if you have not been able to change him before now, you may as well give up the attempt.

In your place, I would refuse to go anywhere in the car with him, if he is driving, whether you can drive, or not.

Sounds as if he will kill someone some day and if that thought cannot make him drive responsibly nothing will.

If this is a new thing, then you could try to peruade him to have his eyes tested and see if you can persuade him to give up driving altogether - that day comes for all drivers - or should.

Very well said, Buttonjugs, and I fully agree with you! I'm not a driver, never have been and never will be but as a passenger in my hubby's car - he's a very good driver and I'm not just saying that because I'm his Mrs! ... we've had numerous near-accidents because of stupid speeders when we've been going along within the legal speed limit, we've been run off the road too which is terrifying, I'm physically disabled so it's even more scary for those of us who can't physically move properly as we have less chance of being able to get out of the car ...

My brilliant hubby has been very badly shaken up too.

Speeders are utterly selfish and only think about themselves. and make up the most ridiculous excuses.

When we both worked on the buses years ago, my hubby as a driver and I as a route learner, we had several work colleagues who are into motorbikes and the amount of moaning coming from them when they decided to do a trillion mph on public roads and they were caught and fined. ''It's not fair, I have the right to ride my bike, everyone is against me'' blah blah! I absolutely hate motorbikes at the best of times!

It's not your responsibility it's his and you can do nothing except perhaps make a few of the suggestions above banditry to avoid being in the car when he's driving.

Irresponsible, he should stop driving. Although if he carries on he may well have his licence taken from him. Hopefully before someone is hurt.

My ex P was constantly doing this. He is in a care home, dementia I think. Sorry.

Spuddy, I agree with you that there are some mad cap bikers out there, but there a many more good and decent bikers, my husband is one of them. We’ve biked for years, never had or caused an accident. In fact we’ve had idiots in cars causing us to veer off the road. Don’t tar all bikers with the same brush.

I’ve just had a driver awareness course and the thing that came out is u can set your speed via a limiter before you set off, if your car has one of course.

I find it quite tricky round here as the limit changes constantly from 20 to 30 mph and many of the signs are obscured by trees. Sometimes the 20 limit is literally just the 50 yards or so before and after a junction. Also if you try to do 20 you often get some aggressive van driver tailgating you. The satnav isn't much help as the maps are not updating often enough to include all the limit changes.
My husband used to race around but now takes much more notice of limits. He's done one speed awareness course (from which he learnt nothing of much use) and knows that he will get points next time.
When we're on the motorway he uses his cruise control to stay within limits, often being passed by everything else on the road.
I find him doing 50 in a 70 limit very irritating, he takes beta-blockers for his heart and some days he turns into an elderly, slow driver - exactly the opposite of Puzzlelove's problem.

My speed merchant husband is currently driving a Brand new Courtesy car whilst his M11 BMW is in the garage for damaged body work.
It’s a Skoda as London Roads are 20 MPH he’s thinking of buying one . Road speed is on the dashboard and it bleeps when he exceeds it. The car is comfortable and quiet and has made him very aware of bad speeding habits

I don’t think he sets out to speed but doesn’t seem to be able to read the limit signs or keep his eye on what speed he’s driving at.

Has he had his eyesight tested recently?
Can he even read the signs?

My husband has had fines in the past and done speed awareness courses. The last time I declared it, as he's a named driver on my policy, it put the cost of my insurance up for the next five years. He was not popular at all!
He now uses cruise control to keep within the speed limit, especially on motorways.

I like the suggestion from Davida1968 about a present of an advanced driving course.

When my Dad's driving got dangerously erratic he was already waiting for a brain scan. We took his car keys off him "just until you get the results."
He was diagnosed with vascular dementia, needless to say he didn't get his keys back.

Spuddy

Make an appointment with a morgue, take him in, show him the mangled dead bodies of innocent victims who have been run over or smashed up in vehicles by speeders, tell him that one day it might be HIM laying there if he's speeding and smashes in to something!

I know someone who used to work in Stoke Mandeville Hospital.
What she used to regularly see, put her off motorway driving for good.
She goes longer distances by train instead.

My husband really didn’t like getting a speeding ticket, and he seems to judge the speed limit on what the road looks like. So nowadays I remind him what the speed limit is if he creeps over. I really benefited from the speed awareness course I went on, but I wanted to avoid getting tickets, whereas it sounds as if your DH doesn’t care! Does he know he’ll get disqualified from driving if he carries on getting them?

It’s not your responsibility to make him behave like an adult.

Buy a car with speed limiter and cruise control then he will have no excuse.

Davida1968

Perhaps suggest he undertakes the Advanced Driving Course? (On the grounds that it's "something he might enjoy"? Even imply that it's a special gift/treat?) Then - hopefully - someone else (qualified) will be telling him! Just an idea.

This is a good idea.

Nowadays if I find myself behind someone driving not only within the speed limit but road conditions too I am amazed. It's so rare, the numbers speeding is horrendous. Travelling on motorways quite often I can't help but notice a lot of electric vehicles commiting the offence, possibly due to not worrying about fuel use/cost.
I live in a 20 mph zone and its like people are innumerate, especially young females, just totally ignore the limit yet they complain on local f/b site if they see a van going faster than 20 mph in the area. Absolutely no excuse.

People like this scare me. I always remember the first words my driving instructor said to me - you’re driving a weapon that, in an instant can kill or maim, driving is a privilege not a rite. That was over fifty years ago and since then the roads have got busier, faster and are littered with potholes. I hate to say it but if somebody has not understood these points then nothing you can say or do will change them.

.. Sadly hasn't took on board what the course is all about 🤔. There's a couple of words could be used
My d-I-L went on hers and said it was the most boring four hours she had ever had I had to turn away as my neighbours little boy was knocked down and died with with a similar person. It was in a 30 mile an hour area he would've lived possibly if the car wasn't speeding maybe show him these responses. 🤷‍♀️

Ps. We all get lessons in life. I'd hate to learn that one. Id never get over killing a child would he? Personal Responsibility

When my son was 7, he was crossing over a side road sensibly.
He was hit by a vehicle...the driver was speeding. The impact sent him up into the air and literally across the width of the street. His body crashed into a parked car and he was left lying in the gutter.
Two witnesses to the accident said they absolutely believed he was dead.

That's what speeding does...you might be lucky but one day, luck will run out!
My son survived but I have nothing but anger and contempt for those who drive in that manner.

Get that car you share with him - independently insured just for you, - and another totally separate insurance account ( with a different company and/or a quote from the same one ) - to 'isolate' you from subsidising his poor record / higher risk .