Impersonal

Yes, very much so. It isn't a forum for making friends! It works best when people are asking for specific things that people have experience with- otherwise it can be very superficial. Not sure why I'm still here!

I disagree, I have made some good friends on here.

I have met some in person, and we meet up regularly, and another has become a pen pal, would love to meet up, unfortunately we are miles away from each other.

I agree with GrannyGravy13. I've definitely made friendly connections with people on here and been to various meetups. Give it time Tiley

That's very true. You put a comment and the thread carries on as if it were invisible. You wonder if anyone read it, and clearly there are people who simply reply to the OP, ignoring what others have written. That does happen, but there's not much you can do about that especially if the thread is long.

The problem is that in some fast moving threads there are too many posters, and a conversation isn't always possible. Too many people are giving their opinion and there isn't time for anyone to answer. I've sometimes seen 2 or 3 comments I'd like to reply to but the thread has moved on 3 or 4 pages!

So just take what replies you get and accept that some of your posts won't get replies. I'm sure at least some people have read it. That's why I would like an 'agree' button (not a 'like' button) where people could at least say they agree with what you've said.

I think it can depend. It took ta while to be responded to. I started posting regularly on Mick's Good Morning thread and Soop's Kitchen and gradually people replied to me. But I had no expectations that I would make friends. As it transpires, I have met up with a group of women from gransnet and we meet fairly regularly. I find them all lovely and charming.

I have always felt that many people don’t read any other replies, just want to have their say without paying heed to anyone else. You only have to look at the posts which keep getting replies even after the original poster has said the situation is sorted.
I definitely don’t feel there are conversations, as I rarely, if ever, see a reply saying ‘ why do you think that?’ or similar, leading to further discussion. If anything, I see some quite snarky replies if someone disagrees, rather than showing an interest in why someone has a particular opinion.

I agree with OP. I still find it entertaining to read most threads but as for making friends - no. Not that I expect to. The only sort of conversation I see are in the News and Politics when the usual posters get going and reply to each other's comments.

Grandmabatty

I think it can depend. It took ta while to be responded to. I started posting regularly on Mick's Good Morning thread and Soop's Kitchen and gradually people replied to me. But I had no expectations that I would make friends. As it transpires, I have met up with a group of women from gransnet and we meet fairly regularly. I find them all lovely and charming.

I find you charming too GMB 😘

I agree, we are a lovely group of ladies and the conversation flows! .

I’m one to read the whole thread, so if I choose to comment it’s (I hope) relevant.
Recently, several threads have been ‘hijacked’ by references to missing posters and the original topic has all but been ignored.

I’ve found the site friendly and accessible, but I’m not really looking for specific friends, although a couple of GNs have PM’d me. (Private messaged).

I too have friendships, some now almost 30 years old, forged online originally. I’ve never felt that I’ve found my tribe on GN and after several years of posting here (with different names) I don’t expect that to change. I think the main difference is my other forums are (or have been) interest-based, so there were immediate points of connection.

That isn’t to say that there aren’t some interesting posters here, and there are a few I’d happily have lunch with if the occasion arose, but because the forum or even boards aren’t about topics of interest to me, those occasions don’t arise.

I feel a connection with lots of people - some I have met, some I haven't.

How long have you been a member - maybe give it more time.

I've been a member for donkeys years and not made a friend.
Not that I expected to, I just enjoy the general chat and opinions and the games. I'm a bit of a lone wolf anyway.
There are some lovely people on GN.

I accept that most of my posts are ignored but it makes me cross when posters respond to my posts angrily without having read what I actually said or taken into account what the OP was about. This has happened twice so far and I am still relatively new to the site.

I agree with TileyDaddima and twinnytwin and it seems that you fit in with the establishment or you don't.
I don't foresee anyone waiting to meet up with me.

Having said that one long time member has taken the trouble to reach out to me via the Inbox for which I am grateful.

I’ve posted on a few forums over many years, and this is the only one where it is acceptable not to ‘read the flipping thread’. It is also the only one where people aren’t expected to answer questions to clarify their posts - usually that is a given, as if something is unclear then replies go off track, and misunderstandings occur, and it also encourages people to post and run. The traditions on GN set it up for people feeling excluded and for accusations of cliques. It also makes people feel ‘piled on’ when lots of others tell them they are wrong just because they can, regardless of the fact that they are just queuing up to repeat what’s already been said and the OP has accepted that they are being unreasonable and said so.

I struggle with all of those things as generally they are seen as extremely rude, but have come to accept that they are just norms here, and this place operates differently from others. I don’t know anywhere else where posters are accused of ‘demanding’ clarification or where it is ok to keep posting things that others have posted without at least acknowledging that you are agreeing with named people.

It can be maddening when you take time to think about a question or situation, word a thoughtful response and a few posts later someone else says the same thing as though you hadn’t bothered, and they get the replies. It happens to all of us, and it can make you feel invisible, but if you post a lot at least some of what you say will get a response.

A lot of people say that GN is the only social media they use, so I wonder if they have simply accepted that it’s ok to behave like that, and never questioned it? I do agree with you Tiley that many threads are not conversations, but those that are (eg News and Politics) are accused of being argumentative and people say they don’t join in as they will be expected to hold their own.

With very few exceptions I don’t think people intend to be rude or to exclude others - it’s just that if you are used to posting elsewhere GN can seem that way.

I wouldn’t expect to ‘make friends’ on a forum like this, but I would have liked to participate in an online discussion with people who have different opinions from mine, and treat their opinions with respect, as well as having my opinions treated with respect.
Sadly, it doesn’t seem that will happen.

I like it here, not quite sure how long I’ve been on here, but a good couple of years.

I’ve had nice PM’s occasionally and good responses to anything I’ve posted.

Go GNs!!!

I joined out of boredom really. Something to do when I have nothing to do. I enjoy it but didn’t expect to make friends and I haven’t. I’m an introvert and this forum suits me just fine.

That’s not to say that there aren’t nice people on here, there certainly are. Also some not so nice whom I wouldn’t want to meet face to face. But hey, we are all able to voice our opinions right?

I can't say I have made friends on Gransnet but there are lots of posters I like. I live at the back of beyond so no meet ups nearby.
I think I would enjoy coffee and a chat with many posters here.

The vast majority of people just say their bit without reading anything else - especially if the thread extends to several pages.
I have occasionally thought about writing something really offensive just to see if anyone notices!
Ironically, I doubt if anyone is reading this

This site has been invaluable to me in times of trouble. Some people sending me pms when I've been at my lowest. It has really helped.

I have been on Gransnet for a number of years and love it! I never expected to make friends but I recognise certain people's names and think to myself "Oh so and so is posting, that's good I enjoy reading their posts."
So THANK YOU Gransnet ..... I come on here first thing in the morning and a couple of times during the day and you are now an important part of my life!!! X

eddiecat78

The vast majority of people just say their bit without reading anything else - especially if the thread extends to several pages.
I have occasionally thought about writing something really offensive just to see if anyone notices!
Ironically, I doubt if anyone is reading this

I was, and have often thought the same!

There are posters on here I would avoid avoid in real life and some I feel would be fun to chat to.
The threads such as health I have found very helpful and interesting/informative. But there are names I see and I think "oh here we go again". And some frequent posters often beloved by many can be downright nasty as if by being a longtime poster excuses them.
And so many fail to read the thread to see if the OP has been answered already and has left the thread.
Gransnet kept me occupied when I was not well and new to it so didn't post. Just read.
Whether I will continue reading I am not sure. Will see how the winter days pan out.

Marydoll 😊 thank you. Eddiecat I was reading.