Impersonal

As I’m still working and otherwise live a busy life I limit my time on any forum to 10 mins initially and only return to a topic if it’s an interesting one.What I’ve gathered from this forum is that a lot of posters spend a considerable time on here and get very involved in threads, personalities, and perceived slights. Probably as it’s a forum designed for older people, a lot of whom are retired and may be feeling a lack of friends or family? A lot will have busy lives of course as the age on here seems to be 55-95 from what posters have said.
I would say don’t worry about if posters are reading your input or commenting on it, just write what you think on any given subject.

Unfortunately, few nasty posters colour people's experience, where the majority are kind and friendly.

I have been surprised to receive PMS form kind posters, I don't know, when I been low.
The have lifted my spirits.

I don’t know when I first joined, at least five years ago, maybe more.
I think the first time I posted, I had a couple of very harsh responses, but I slowly persevered, and quite enjoyed it.
Then after a while I noticed some real nastiness from some people, I decided I wouldn’t mix with people like that in the real world, so I left.
I rejoined about a year later, but I’m very selective about posting. Mainly I just enjoy TerriBulls book challenge.

I learn a lot from GN, and enjoy the chat. Some posters I warm to, some I don't ( and I'm sure that they say the same about me!)
I'm not expecting to meet up and make friends but it might be a bonus.

Thanks Grandmabatty.
I still read the thread. Maybe I’ll post again sometime.

I think the GM thread's dynamics have changed from when I first started posting many years ago.
There are quite a few posters, who are missing. I always enjoyed their posts.

Oh ginny I missed you posting on the Good Morning thread. There have been other posters who have stopped posting too, who I also miss. Like Grannmarie, it has become part of my daily routine now.

I’ve been a member for quite a few years and I have noticed that some people seem to be particularly popular.
I just enjoy reading the various threads and sometimes make a comment.
I used to post regularly on the Good Morning thread but when I stopped a few months ago nobody seemed to miss me. It didn’t bother me , that’s just the way it goes.

I’ve e

It just takes one person to start a Meet Up thread and a bit of nagging persistence to organise.
The Glesca Grans like others who meet up, have a WhatsApp group, where we keep up to date. It is open to any Gransnetter, who wishes to join us.
My DH calls them, my Gransnet friends, which is what they are.

I'm reading, eddiecat! 👋
I'm like Sara1954, accessing GN on my phone, Samsung galaxy, OP posts in green, mine in pink. It does help.

On Tiley's topic, I would say, persevere! Find threads that suits you. Take your time, read a lot and don't feel you have to post. I read a lot but mainly post on Soop's Kitchen and some games threads. For example, I read News and Politics but rarely post there, not sure I'm robust enough for the fallout!

I found GN at the start of lockdown. It was a great distraction and eventually became part of my daily routine. Four years ago, I would not have believed that I would actually meet up with some lovely GN ladies, and keep in touch through regular local meet ups. Yes, I have met Grandmabatty and Marydoll IRL, they are wonderful ladies and great company, as are the many other interesting ladies who join our regular meet ups. I'm looking forward to seeing them all again, and some new members, in September.

So, tiley, don't give up yet!

A lot of the comments seem to be much more confrontational lately, but I think you can say that about a lot of forums. There have been several people I have become friendly with, while never actually meeting them, but they have sadly died. A small group of us meet up several times a year though and have become friends.

I read your post!!

I can quite understand that few of us want to read each and every post. However, I do think it would be enormously helpful to have the same set up as Mumsnet. There you can read all of the OP's updates in one go without trawling through the whole thread. You also have the ability to "tag" another poster which very often encourages conversation or debate. Otherwise Gransnet just seems to be a place where posters say their piece regardless of other comments or updates from the OP which is a shame.

So, in essence, Gransnet HQ please can we have the same facilities as Mumsnet!

I'm reading, eddiecat78

Gransnet has changed enormously over the last few years and some posts are so long you can’t read them. Do think more people are reporting things they don’t agree with, so i just read on some subjects and don't comment. I have made friendships but never met in person..

Yes Sara1954 my comments are pink and the OP’s green. The colours continue throughout the thread if and when the OP (or indeed I) adds to it.

Sort of off topic, but not sure where to post, but I’m amazed at those who appear to trawl through old threads, then add to them, often up to 4 years later.
I’m wondering if there’s any way GNHQ could withdraw old threads after an agreed length of time?
In addition, without wishing to report a post, it’s a shame those ‘hoax’ problems, usually from the USA are kept running. A current one has multiple posts (me included, but early on) suggesting the thread is fake.

On my phone my own comments are always in pink, and the original poster in green

Commonground

Cabbie21

It would help if an OP’s subsequent comments could appear in a different colour, easier to spot if they have come back to a thread with an update, and might prevent further advice being given.
I also get frustrated if some one writes “ I agree with( name) “ . I don’t always have time to go searching back through pages of a fast-moving thread to see what point they are agreeing with.
Edit and Agree or Like buttons, please!

I always access Gransnet on my phone, and all responses from the original poster are highlighted in green. It makes it much easier to follow. I, too, never respond without reading the thread.

Whether I read on my phone, tablet or PC, the OP's responses are NOT highlighted.

Cabbie21, I was just about to post the same as you did at 17:39:32.

Some threads can become very long, so that you don’t always have the time to read through the whole thread. Therefore if the OP’s further comments could be highlighted in either green (as in their original post, or, say, pink for example), it would be easy to scroll through and read all their updates, so reducing the risk of repetitive advice/comments from subsequent posters. They do this on Mumsnet, so fail to understand why they can’t (or won’t) do it on Gransnet.

Edit, agree and like buttons would also be helpful, as you say.

We’ve been asked by GNHQ or more than one occasion, for suggestions, and these same suggestions keep being raised, but nothing ever comes of it - so frustrating. Why bother asking for our opinions in the first place if there is never going to be any intention of listening to them and acting on them (where possible)?

Cabbie21

It would help if an OP’s subsequent comments could appear in a different colour, easier to spot if they have come back to a thread with an update, and might prevent further advice being given.
I also get frustrated if some one writes “ I agree with( name) “ . I don’t always have time to go searching back through pages of a fast-moving thread to see what point they are agreeing with.
Edit and Agree or Like buttons, please!

I always access Gransnet on my phone, and all responses from the original poster are highlighted in green. It makes it much easier to follow. I, too, never respond without reading the thread.

It would help if an OP’s subsequent comments could appear in a different colour, easier to spot if they have come back to a thread with an update, and might prevent further advice being given.
I also get frustrated if some one writes “ I agree with( name) “ . I don’t always have time to go searching back through pages of a fast-moving thread to see what point they are agreeing with.
Edit and Agree or Like buttons, please!

I have made friends, but not directly through the forum itself.

I PMed one member who I knew lived alone and close to me when she had a serious domestic catastrophe. I would not have contacted her otherwise, and a friendship has developed with two other people whom I have met through the local get-togethers.

Tiley has there been a local meetup near you? if not could you organise one?

Doodledog

I’ve posted on a few forums over many years, and this is the only one where it is acceptable not to ‘read the flipping thread’. It is also the only one where people aren’t expected to answer questions to clarify their posts - usually that is a given, as if something is unclear then replies go off track, and misunderstandings occur, and it also encourages people to post and run. The traditions on GN set it up for people feeling excluded and for accusations of cliques. It also makes people feel ‘piled on’ when lots of others tell them they are wrong just because they can, regardless of the fact that they are just queuing up to repeat what’s already been said and the OP has accepted that they are being unreasonable and said so.

I struggle with all of those things as generally they are seen as extremely rude, but have come to accept that they are just norms here, and this place operates differently from others. I don’t know anywhere else where posters are accused of ‘demanding’ clarification or where it is ok to keep posting things that others have posted without at least acknowledging that you are agreeing with named people.

It can be maddening when you take time to think about a question or situation, word a thoughtful response and a few posts later someone else says the same thing as though you hadn’t bothered, and they get the replies. It happens to all of us, and it can make you feel invisible, but if you post a lot at least some of what you say will get a response.

A lot of people say that GN is the only social media they use, so I wonder if they have simply accepted that it’s ok to behave like that, and never questioned it? I do agree with you Tiley that many threads are not conversations, but those that are (eg News and Politics) are accused of being argumentative and people say they don’t join in as they will be expected to hold their own.

With very few exceptions I don’t think people intend to be rude or to exclude others - it’s just that if you are used to posting elsewhere GN can seem that way.

😊😊