Towards More Picturesque Speech

My parents reminding me to close the door ‘put the wood in the hole’

My Gran would describe a very short person as being, 'Two bricks and a hat.'
To my great aunt an African person was, ' Black as Egypt's night'.
Neither very PC.

AreWeThereYet

^My mother- in -law when speaking of someone not very bright would say in her strong Ayrshire accent ‘ she’s no the full shilling’. ^

We used to say someone was sixpence short of a bob. Or a sandwich short of a picnic.

Bent as a nine bob note for someone with criminal tendencies (although later I think it was used for someone who was gay).

We had ‘odd as a nine bob note’ and ‘ bent as a two bob rocket’.

My mother- in -law when speaking of someone not very bright would say in her strong Ayrshire accent ‘ she’s no the full shilling’.

We used to say someone was sixpence short of a bob. Or a sandwich short of a picnic.

Bent as a nine bob note for someone with criminal tendencies (although later I think it was used for someone who was gay).

Granmarderby10

To miserable moany types -“it’s being so cheerful that keeps ‘em going”

That was said a lot by a character in one of the audio comedy programmes - I think it was ITMA (It's That Man Again). She was a charlady who could always find something to be gloomy about, but when they commented sarcastically on what a ray of sunshine she was, she would reply glumly "It's being so cheerful as keeps me going."

Some great expressions, but not heard of many of them so far.

A favourite from college years ago - it’s like trying to get muck out of a wooden horse.

Another one for pulled through a hedge backwards. And when my bedroom was untidy it ‘looked as though the tide has just gone out’.

My paternal grandfather, when asked to look at something either to mend it or to work out what it was: "Let's 'ave a loook at these 'ere 'errins' 'eads" (these here herrings heads).

I've never met anyone else who has heard that expression or used it. My DDs think I made it up 😁

Grandad was a South Yorkshire miner.

My grandad used to tell me he was going to see a man about a dog when he was going to the toilet.

Greyduster

If my father met anyone looking miserable or down in the dumps, he’d say “Tha looks as if tha’s lost a shillin’ an’ found sixpence!”

That was used in my family too.

Another expression with the same meaning was
" Tha looks like tha's tossed up for tha dinner and lost!"

If my father met anyone looking miserable or down in the dumps, he’d say “Tha looks as if tha’s lost a shillin’ an’ found sixpence!”

To miserable moany types -“it’s being so cheerful that keeps ‘em going”

My mother- in -law when speaking of someone not very bright would say in her strong Ayrshire accent ‘ she’s no the full shilling’. Of someone doing something stupid ‘she’s as daft as McHarg’s chookies’ (chickens).

my father used to say he was 'going to Timbuktu and back again' when he went out

When describing someone she thought affected, my mother would say:
'Oh, do you know my people; rather poor but awfully clever; fourteen cars and one little guinea pig!'
She had no idea where it came from but thought she had heard it in a play on the radio.

Hmm I wonder if this will get me into trouble, hope not!

My late mum would say 'he's as queer as a nine-bob note' - she never did understand the concept of PC

Another one from Mum if she's had a bitty sort of day she would say she'd had a 'clashy back end'!

eazybee I didn't know that!

Shelflife It was one of my Mum's sayings too and she was from Yorkshire

The look on her face would turn milk sour!

About those who took on thankless tasks, or did not heed advice and landed in some kind of trouble: he/she is a glutton for punishment.

If anything was skew-wiff: it's as straight as a dog's hind leg.

My old dad used to say - if someone suggested doing something he didn’t like - ‘I’d rather go to Wigan pier.’

'Dick's hatband' : Dick is the devil.

AGGA , that was a favourite phrase of my Mums too. I was brought up in Yorkshire - wonder if it is a Yorkshire phrase?

fancythat

AGAA4

If I came home from school looking untidy my mum used to say I looked like I had been pulled through a hedge backwards.

This is the only saying on here that I have heard.

And it’s reminded me that when my father was very hungry he ‘ could eat a nun’s arse through a hedge’!

AGAA4

If I came home from school looking untidy my mum used to say I looked like I had been pulled through a hedge backwards.

This is the only saying on here that I have heard.

“She/he “looks as though they’ve been sucking on lemons and chewing broken glass “ 😂