Gransnet forums

Chat

Another missing poster

(311 Posts)

GNHQ have commented on this thread. Read here.

merlotgran Sat 31-Aug-24 11:19:41

If this were a light hearted thread, I’d be tempted to suggest that Gransnet is beginning to feel like Midsomer Murders. Yet another poster has disappeared in mysterious circumstances.

It’s deadly serious though. Attempts to contact Urmstongran are falling on stony ground and many of us are concerned because we know how challenging her life is at the moment.

Many of us have received messages of support from Urms when life has dealt us the cruellest of blows and yet we are unable to contact her via pms.

She always let us know when she was taking a break from GN so to go on a long awaited holiday and just disappear is out of character.

I suspect foul play and I’m not taking the p**s!

Doodledog Sun 01-Sept-24 05:32:06

Not that I know of. grin

Anniebach Sun 01-Sept-24 05:18:04

Has any man been described as dragged up and from the gutter ?

Doodledog Sun 01-Sept-24 04:47:37

rafichagran

I totally agree Doodledog I was horrified Angela Rayner was called a tart.

Sorry - we cross-posted. I was replying to biglouis, not ignoring you grin. I didn’t expect anyone else would be awake - insomnia is a curse, isn’t it?

Doodledog Sun 01-Sept-24 04:44:12

Class is about a lot more than ‘presentation’. It is the need to find ways to keep others ‘in their place’ that causes the shallow to look for clues to class in accent, clothes or etiquette, not ‘presentation’ that causes the class system.

In any case, whether there is a law against snobbery is neither here nor there. My point was that it is not true that calling a woman a ‘tart’ is the same as criticising a old man (Michael Foot) for wearing an overcoat at the Cenotaph - it has gone down in History as a donkey jacket, but it was in fact an expensive Jaeger coat bought in Harrods. Regardless, the men M0nica mentioned had their clothing criticised for being deemed inappropriate. Links were not made between their clothes and their sexual mores. That humiliation is reserved for women.

For avoidance of doubt, I am not commenting here on what may or may not have caused posters to be banned - sexism and classism are, to my mind, unpleasant, as is making implications about someone’s sexual behaviour, but as you say, biglouis, not illegal, and posts on here are littered with all of those things. I don’t deny that classism exists - in fact I brought it up. I was refuting the suggestion that the way men and women are criticised for sartorial choices is the same. It’s not.

rafichagran Sun 01-Sept-24 04:07:06

I totally agree Doodledog I was horrified Angela Rayner was called a tart.

biglouis Sun 01-Sept-24 02:35:13

Classism exists in Britain as surely as it ever did. I know of no law against sorting people into categories with whom I may (or may not) wish to interact. Real life may not like Downton Abbey where the classes are clearly defined. However in many respects people are often still subtly kept in "their place" by the way they present themselves. That includes their mode of dress, accent and possession of social capital.

Doodledog Sun 01-Sept-24 00:34:58

M0nica

All politicians, male and female, have their bearing and clothes criticised, Boris Johnson, Dominic Cummings, Michael Foot, Jeremy Corbyn - and that's just for starters, and of course a lot of women polticians

Still more why should someone who criticises a woman politician be banned but someone who criticises a male one not? Sauce for the goose should be sauce for the gander.

If anyone can tell me a word for a male politician (or any male person) that equates to ‘tart’, I’d be interested to hear it. I don’t mean ‘stud’ or another word that suggests prowess - I mean one that suggests prostitution or promiscuous sexual activity.

And whilst Johnson has been criticised for fathering numerous children, it was his infidelity that was mentioned but the ‘legitimacy’ of his offspring.

I don’t think anyone has ever linked a politician’s clothing to their sexual behaviour until AR, who, despite being more successful than anyone on here (AFAIK, anyway) has also suffered disparaging remarks about her social class, her accent and her lack of education.

If those remarks get anyone banned, and we don’t know that they did, it was nothing to do with geese or ganders. It was sexism mixed with classism - pure and simple.

NittWitt Sat 31-Aug-24 23:13:09

Oops, just realised the same name wouldn't work for a new account as it would be already taken.
It would have to be a very similar name, to be recognised.

NittWitt Sat 31-Aug-24 23:10:20

GrannyGravy13

⬇️

If someone has, or creates, another email address they can join GN using that address and a new name or, in Urms case as she isn't banned, using the same name.

M0nica Sat 31-Aug-24 23:06:02

All politicians, male and female, have their bearing and clothes criticised, Boris Johnson, Dominic Cummings, Michael Foot, Jeremy Corbyn - and that's just for starters, and of course a lot of women polticians

Still more why should someone who criticises a woman politician be banned but someone who criticises a male one not? Sauce for the goose should be sauce for the gander.

biglouis Sat 31-Aug-24 22:56:45

GSM got carried away on that day, as it was unlike her usual posting style. Voicing a remark about the appearance of a female politico is certainly not an egregious crime. It is an "opinion" People are entitled to hold opinions - even if they deeply offend others.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 31-Aug-24 22:18:09

kittylester

I have had a reply from GNHQ since reporting Gg13's post.

It said they are checking things out behind the scenes.

Good 👍🏻

kittylester Sat 31-Aug-24 22:09:52

I have had a reply from GNHQ since reporting Gg13's post.

It said they are checking things out behind the scenes.

Vintagejazz Sat 31-Aug-24 22:08:52

Chestnut

I'm afraid this is what happens when people report another poster. They disappear. There has been a lot of reporting it seems and that can only be a bad thing. It will change the dynamics of the site and turn it into an echo chamber.

That's an unfair comment. Obviously reporting someone maliciously is wrong. But sometimes there is good reason to report a poster, and creating a culture where people are expected to put up with bullying, spiteful comments or nastiness (not talking about GSM, Callistemon etc) because reporting is disapproved of, is very ill advised.

LucyAnna2 Sat 31-Aug-24 21:55:07

Primrose53

winterwhite

My impression is that this latest bout stems from that post-election thread about Angela Rayner in which several posters got carried away, including GSM. That thread made the national press in an uncomplimentary way. We can’t pretend it didn’t happen. But it was nearly 2 months ago now. More than time to readmit any temporary suspensions.

Don’t think anybody is pretending it didn't happen but it was very minor. Can anybody confirm it’s true anyway?
I never saw it.

I agree that a couple of months is more than enough time to reinstate someone.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/jul/14/reducing-labour-women-to-the-sum-of-their-outfits-is-suddenly-all-the-rage

Primrose53 Sat 31-Aug-24 21:43:20

winterwhite

My impression is that this latest bout stems from that post-election thread about Angela Rayner in which several posters got carried away, including GSM. That thread made the national press in an uncomplimentary way. We can’t pretend it didn’t happen. But it was nearly 2 months ago now. More than time to readmit any temporary suspensions.

Don’t think anybody is pretending it didn't happen but it was very minor. Can anybody confirm it’s true anyway?
I never saw it.

I agree that a couple of months is more than enough time to reinstate someone.

Galaxy Sat 31-Aug-24 21:31:52

I always end up feeling as if I am a MN/GN cheerleader on these threads but, I very much doubt MN would be impacted by adverse publicity. They hosted the gender discussions despite advertisers pulling their support, and nonsensical claims about MN being a hotbed of radicalisation across social media. They actually have supported free speech more than most online forums.

Millie22 Sat 31-Aug-24 21:27:10

In a few weeks they will be asking us for suggestions to improve the site...

again 🤔

M0nica Sat 31-Aug-24 21:15:57

I have been incommunicado for a couple of days, so arrive at this thread on page 6. I have tried to read through some of the back pages, but not all. so apologies f I am repeating something someone else has said.

When GNHQ make decisions about banning etc. I do think they should take into account, not just the post that has caused offence (unless it is quite law breakingly dreadful, for example really vile racism) and look at that posters long term contribution to GN.

An obvious example of this is GSM. She has given so much help and information to so many people over the years which has been really helpful, and I do think if thinking about a ban, all that we would lose by her absence should be taken into account.

As for quotes in the press, well, none of us invite the press to quote us and it is not that it is unique for the press to bear down on a group of people, whether teenagers, students, young mums or us and quote excerpts from letters, posts, or verbal interviews and then edit them in a partial manner that makes that group look nasty and prejudiced.

It is something politicians are always complaining about. Why GN HQ should start having the vapours and taking to their chaises longues with smelling salts, just because now and again someone says something nasty about them or too them, defeats me. They should learn to be as robust as most of GN members, who over long lifetimes have learned to take the rough with the smooth.

Marydoll Sat 31-Aug-24 21:14:29

I asked GNHQ for help to change my email address, because it no longer worked (Thanks Virgin Media), they have ignored me.

merlotgran Sat 31-Aug-24 21:10:42

GrannyGravy13

The above is from our dear friend *Urms^

Reading that has made me so flipping angry.

What does Gransnet do for us? Absolutely nothing!

We’ve lost the book club, the Q&A sessions with celebs which often had competitions linked with good prizes, promotions and other ‘perks’.

In short, we felt valued.

Now we’re not worth a light. We offer support to each other and discuss topics which are allowed under HQ’s now draconian rules. That’s about it!

What’s the point when we’re treated like naughty kids or even worse- ga ga old biddies. 😡

Doodledog Sat 31-Aug-24 21:04:16

I remember Iam getting locked out ages ago, and messaging HQ repeatedly, as, I think, did others, but it took ages for them to act. They did in the end, though, so tell Urms not to give up?

GrannyGravy13 Sat 31-Aug-24 21:00:54

The above is from our dear friend *Urms^

GrannyGravy13 Sat 31-Aug-24 20:59:29

⬇️

Siope Sat 31-Aug-24 20:54:07

Nobody that I am aware of on Gransnet has ever said they are in favour of uncontrolled immigration.

And I doubt anyone has ever called another poster racist for saying simply that.