Secrets that don't belong to you

A secret, the clue is in the word.

Thank you V3ra.

I knew of an affair years ago I wasn’t comfortable when I met the wife of the guy who was being unfaithful. Little did I know at the time that he was aware of my husbands philandering.

Cabbie21

Do you ever think there are some secrets that should be shared?
I am surprised nobody commented on the secret my Mum was asked to keep - which she did, but felt awful about it.
Being told by her niece that she was dying but asked not to tell her parents was torture for my mum. Not that she wanted to break that awful news, but she felt it was wrong that they didn’t know. No chance to say goodbye.

Your mum was in an impossible position. Her niece must have really trusted her and presumably it helped your niece to be able to share her sad news with someone close.
Maybe the upset of telling her own parents was too much to bear for her. A heavy burden for your mum, but a privilege at the same time.

I am too old now but the secret that would have always worried me was if a friend told me in my younger days she was having an affair and I had to meet her and her husband for dinner and he knew nothing about it. I think I may well remain silent and distance myself from her. If however, someone told me that she had had a child adopted because of a teenage pregnancy I would just keep silent and 'forget' she said it.

NonGrannyMoll - this happened to me and the person who shared his secret spent 20 mins yelling at me for betraying his confidence until I hung up and never spoke to him again. I knew who did betray him because the other person told me the 'secret'. I was really hurt that he thought it was me and it pains me even though he is dead now.

Do you ever think there are some secrets that should be shared?
I am surprised nobody commented on the secret my Mum was asked to keep - which she did, but felt awful about it.
Being told by her niece that she was dying but asked not to tell her parents was torture for my mum. Not that she wanted to break that awful news, but she felt it was wrong that they didn’t know. No chance to say goodbye.

Hi Whiff, it's nice to see you back.

I'm sure we will all take some secrets with us. I do feel honoured in a way, it's just that what I was told was something I'd rather not have known as it was illegal.

I am very good at keeping secrets other people tell me. And have kept some for decades. People know I don't judge or think poorly of them . We all have secrets many went to the grave when my husband died . But I don't feel keeping others people secrets a burden I feel honoured that they know they can trust me.

I have many friends, but none of them have confided their ‘secrets’ to me - either, they feel I’m a blabbermouth, or their lives are uncomplicated. My life is an open book. However, there are one or two things I wouldn’t like my children to know. If I want to get anything off my chest, I’d rather come here 😂

That is a risk, Esmay, but I'm sure you come across as a very lovely person so she must have felt very safe with you. Those are serious secrets.

I have kept other secrets too, but the ones my friend told me are not like anything I've heard before. I wish I could not know. There is no one to tell now. I didn't ever get to know the kids, though they've got in touch to ask me if I knew anything about the cause of the suicide (I don't) It's kinder if they don't know who their parent was, so I'll never tell but just hope for their sakes that they never find evidence when clearing the house.

It's a massive secret .
What worries me is the teller told me with a guilty giggle hardly knowing me !
She's moved away .
I have no idea what happened .
She'd had her daughters quite late in life and was well off . She didn't want to rock the boat-but what a risk telling someone who is a new friend .
It's not the only secret I've kept .
Another friend had a serious affair with an old flame from her past .
Serious - because he wanted marriage .
She didn't tell her husband .
I've kept the secret for 30 years !

My friend didn't tell me that I'm the only one who knows, they didn't need to. I just know it's not the sort of thing anyone would willingly admit.

There was complete trust. I don't know if any of their secrets will be revealed when their kids go through their things, but it won't come from me.

When any one try’s to tell me a secret I tell them I’m the biggest blabber mouth going ! I can’t keep a secret to save my life !

It’s been my experience that when someone tells you that you’re the only person who knows the secret: you very rarely are.

Oh! That's a big secret @Esmay. Could come out on it's own one day even with you being a good secret keeper.

So many people I know have done Ancestry DNA tests and had a shock.

I don't want any more people to tell me their secrets either. They are heavy to carry.

Esmay, with so many people doing DNA tests now it’s quite likely that will not stay a secret for ever.

I worry about getting dementia and then breaking confidences. Prefer not to hear secrets any more just in case.

I keep two secrets for friends, I will never tell anyone what they are as I have promised not to.

Esmay

Sorry a daughter who is not her husband's !

Many years ago, a dear friend went to a fortune teller, who told her that she had a child who was not her husband's. My friend's daughter was an adopted child. She always wondered how the fortune teller knew?

Back on topic, fifty years ago a close friend told me her childhood secret, something that her husband and adult children do not know. I would never tell them, it's her secret.

Esmay that's a huge secret!!

Mt61

I don’t share secrets as I trust no one other than myself- lead a boring life really, so nothing major to hide, I don’t like to be in the think of things really

Thick

I don’t share secrets as I trust no one other than myself- lead a boring life really, so nothing major to hide, I don’t like to be in the think of things really

Oopsadaisy1

The galling thing for me is to keep a secret for years and then others coming up to me and telling me the same ‘secret’.

So much for me being the only one she told.

Yes I have found that, really annoying

Sorry a daughter who is not her husband's !

I've kept various friends deepest secrets for many years .
One has a daughter who is her husband's.
I often wonder if he's guessed .
I hope not .