Feeling sad all the time

Hi Mcauliffe27

You may be better to start a new thread, to get advice.

Your problem may be missed in this thread, and I'm sure there are people who will offer helpful advice.

You need to click on the option "start a new thread" and then give it a title, and I'm sure you'll receive support.

Can anyone give me some advice please, I’m 70 and my husband died 2 years ago I’m not depressed or anything like that although I do miss him, he was the one that everyone went to for advice or help on any matter. I lived alone for about a year then my 40 year old son came to live with me, he has self diagnosed himself as autistic, he has terrible anxiety and if I say the wrong thing he starts shouting etc. I was a little lonely on my own but it was still early days after my husband died. We get on most of the time but nearly every day he has these tantrums and it’s getting me down sometimes it’s more than once a day, I’m now frightened to say the wrong thing. Waiting for some help please .

I have been in this dark place on several occasions. I feel for you, I now volunteer twice a week and keeping busy helping others has helped me a great deal. As others have suggested, a visit to the doctor could be useful. Take care.

loopyloo

Yes. My DD who we have helped and supported for years has now bought a house on the south coast for herself and her new husband.
Which is great and am pleased for her, but I feel this sense of emptiness
But am not sure it's just that though
Have to work through things and find things to enhance my life .
Do see.your Dr if you can .
I do find getting fairly smartly dressed and planning something makes me feel better.
All best wishes to you.

I hope you will enjoy lovely holidays down there with her Loopyloo new adventures ahead.. I live on the South Coast and there are lots of places to explore here..

For what its worth, like a lot of things, I think there are degrees of this stuff. I had full blown PND and something akin to that resurfaced years later. Clinical depression, I couldn't get out of bed or brush my teeth.

That empty feeling , that sadness, that sense of loss, is it depression or the human condition? The sadness and the depression mingle.
We are up against it sometimes and that strange feeling of loss of connection and exclusion can surface.

Shut inside our own heads is not a good place to be.

Yes. My DD who we have helped and supported for years has now bought a house on the south coast for herself and her new husband.
Which is great and am pleased for her, but I feel this sense of emptiness
But am not sure it's just that though
Have to work through things and find things to enhance my life .
Do see.your Dr if you can .
I do find getting fairly smartly dressed and planning something makes me feel better.
All best wishes to you.

Oh my gosh, so many kind comments. I think I'm not depressed I have an older daughter who is still at home and we have many days out and lots of laughs. I think I'm sad about things changing, I know my daughter is only 19 and wants to enjoy herself but I miss her so much. I said she was bullied at school so I home schooled her for a while we were so close and now she's not here. I should count my blessings I know

I would try not to focus on Christmas.It's not Christmas now.

Try to live "in the now". Find meaning and purpose. Plan things to look forward to. Get out of the house.Don't be afraid to engage with any Mental Health services locally. Keep chipping away at it, the depression.
Its very common and meds can be of help. Message me any time for a chat. Isolation and rumination are not great.

will be back later to read all posts, but I do find it extra stressful to read, see your GP,, if only! I have high BP that is difficult to control, on new medication,, again!! but still can`t get to speak to a GP as I said I am also very tearful, so I do understand, as having experience, but fluctuates, mostly in the am. so off now to get some cheer,, Gratitude etc... thanks everyone for your input here.

Are you menopausal OP?
With a 19 year old daughter it occurs to me you might be.

Everyone has sorrow, we can decide the mistake around us, the only we could do is control ourselves. And, so many little things consist to life, we need to enjoy it.

keep on keeping on

Your DD was bullied at school she loved her pet it has died she will get over it. Now working away she has grown up and obviously a confident young woman.
You cannot get in the bath probably because of your sore knee. Take a shower and go and get your knee seen to at the Walk-in clinic or doctors.
Everything is happening at once and you are feeling it is overwhelming you it’s probably causing anxiety. Go and talk to your doctor that in itself may help you feel better. You are feeling sorry for yourself we have all probably been there at some point. I have that’s for sure talk about your concerns and worries don’t keep it to yourself.

Im sorry you’re feeling so sad Buscuitmuncher. Sometimes everything can seem so overwhelming can’t it - even though each thing taken in isolation is surmountable. There’s the old adage ‘This too shall pass’ Lots of good advice about therapy etc. on here, but personally I find that a really good exhausting cry can help clear my mind a bit. I find that things can make me really sad or disappointed, but over time. although it still makes me sad, I get a bit more used to things and pick myself up a bit. Not very good advice I’m afraid but it’s the best I’ve got! I hope you feel better soon 💐

There are several contraindications to the use of St John' Wort.

bnf.nice.org.uk/interactions/st-johns-wort/

St John’s wart No, it’s St John’s Wort - but take advice as it can work against other medication including I believe HRT.

Biscuitmuncher I agree with most of the advice given by the lovely Gransnetters and I can’t really offer any new advice but didn’t want to read and not acknowledge your post.

Such good advice you've been receiving from our gransnet. Follow them up, you need a bit of help here. Can't do it all on your own.

Please see a doctor or if that’s hard to get try a Naturopath,I went to the latter & she recommended St John’s wart ( it worked) but everyone is different so you should definitely see someone ———-try to book something for Christmas that you can look forward to & arrange to see your daughter around then so you look forward to that as well-——-lots of lovely helpful,kind people on this site,big hugs

Your DD is 19 years old so woukd be rare if she considered the effect her decision would have on you. Coukd you have an early Christmas doingvwhat you would normally do on the actual day. Many people do this to fit family commitments. Do you have a social circle with perhaps one you would feel safe confiding in. Just sharing can make a huge difference to your view of life. As others have said, with sleep being disturbed and your thoughts, a visit to GP may be due. A good moan is very uplifting, and everyone is entitled to have one. I hope your post has been some help to you.

People joke about empty nest syndrome but it's very real. Once all my children had left home I felt so low because I missed them, I felt like my purpose in life had just vanished and I cried every day, I went to see the doctor who reassured me that what I was going through was perfectly normal and very real, he gave me some medication to ease the low feelings. It does ease with time...are you an empty nester? It would explain a lot. Take care of yourself xx

BrandyGran

Tell your daughter you will miss her at Xmas so to make up for that , between you decide on a lovely afternoon tea in a posh hotel no expense spared! It will be something to look forward to after Xmas when the days are flat. Think about what you will wear and get yr hair done and look gorgeous! In the meantime plan something for every day- reading a book, watching tv or going on the bus to town. It’s easier said than done but you CAN DO IT! As another post said your daughter will have no idea that you are hurt but just tell her you will miss her. If your sadness gets worse definitely see yr dr. Much love and I’ll be thinking about you so please let us know how you are.

This and lots of other good advice on this thread. I've been there, its not nice, I also stopped watching the news and tried to laugh every day ..watching a comedy or show ( ascwell as going to.my gp). It did lift in a much better place now

So sorry Biscuit muncher that you are feeling so sad.My sister lost her husband in February after a hard battle with cancer.She also had a malignant melanoma removed from her foot during his treatment.Luckily she has got the all clear.She has had very sad low periods but found that a few sessions of bereavement counselling helped greatly, plus keeping busy,being taken out for lunch , walks with friends etc all help..I am going for a short break in Portugal with her and close family next month which has lifted her spirits.

I think most of us tend to become more easily upset as we age, and quite honestly, dear Biscuitmuncher everything does seem to be conspiring against you right now.

A 19 year old daughter not coming home for Christmas, and if I know that score, announcing the fact casually at the end of a phone call, or on her way out of the door, upsets mothers - take it from me, I know. I dissolved into tears when my 45 year old daughter annonced she and her son would not be coming for the 10 day stay in his summer holiday that was planned.

AND your daughter's rabbit is dying - and it is no consolation to know that as she is nineteen now, and got it while she was at school, that it has had a long and happy life.

Anyone who has had a pet, and if you read the pets thread you will see I am one of them knows that by now that rabbit is part of the family and it is DYING- make a big fuss of it, ease its passing and dig a grave in the garden while you cry, and sore knee or not, you will manage the task. The last cat's grave I dug, I dug with a sore shoulder and used a hand trowel more than the garden fork!

Next point: no-one on this earth can feel cheerful with a sore knee! So, I hope it gets better soon, and if it doesn't that you can get an appointment with your GP and get something done about that knee. You didn't say what is wrong with it, so I don't know whether you will need to bug your doctor until he/she does something useful, or whether a tube of Volteren oinment will do the trick - they make pills too, which are good, but I do not know if you can buy them in the UK.

And you are not alone, even although it feels like it - we are all here and know all about the days where everything just feels wrong, grey, depressing and boring and when it ALL hurts. So moan all you want - that is one of the good things about Gransnet - we all know what you are talking about.

Hope you feel better soon,

Tell your daughter you will miss her at Xmas so to make up for that , between you decide on a lovely afternoon tea in a posh hotel no expense spared! It will be something to look forward to after Xmas when the days are flat. Think about what you will wear and get yr hair done and look gorgeous! In the meantime plan something for every day- reading a book, watching tv or going on the bus to town. It’s easier said than done but you CAN DO IT! As another post said your daughter will have no idea that you are hurt but just tell her you will miss her. If your sadness gets worse definitely see yr dr. Much love and I’ll be thinking about you so please let us know how you are.