Paying for family holidays?

Say to your daughter you are finding it harder to manage and what contribution will she be able to make to the family holiday? It seems to be taken rather for granted that you will provide all, and that needs to be stopped.

I would start by just explaining to your grandchildren why you will not be able to pay for holidays in the future. It may be hard for them, but for them to learn now that life is not always easy and some times we have to accept that we cannot have everything they want and also that we have to match our life style to our available income will be a very good lesson

Then, if you possible can, plan something smaller and less expensive to all do together, a weekend away, a visit to a theme park. The important part to the children, as well as the holiday, is being with you.

Children are very resilient, handle it carefully and all should be well.

I couldn’t afford to do it at the moment but if I ever can then I’ll def be doing it, at least now and then.

We treat all ours, three adult children, partners and so far two grandchildren, to a group family holiday when we have a "0" wedding anniversary.
We book self-catering apartments through a holiday club we belong to, pay for everyone's flights and one celebration meal.
Apart from that they cater for themselves.
They're all happy with this.

When each adult child has a "0" birthday we treat or take them plus their partner on the same basis.

It spaces it out and gives me time to save up if I need to!
If we reach a point where we can't afford it we'd have to say so.

As for weddings, we've only ever offered to pay a third of the costs, and that's always been welcomed by each couple and the other parents in each case.

I certainly wouldn't be bullied into anything.
Fortunately our children have always appreciated the help we have given, for a variety of reasons, over the years.

True!

It's more that it's becoming less affordable. We could do it, but can we justify it..probably not.

11 is old enough to understand that finances don't stretch to some things, as charming as they are.

Very true **Oreo

To be fair, my daughter didn't ask. It was my 11 year old granddaughter who very charmingly asked if we could have a family holiday. The kids range from 10-17 and they all came. We had a great time in Turkey but it might have to be Devon next year My hubby likes us to get away on our own too which we haven't done this year. So he'll be expecting that for sure!

If you can't afford it, then you can't afford it.

Perhaps w weekend away might be a better option, and could include your son.

Your son isn’t a single parent so the two families aren’t the same.

On the other hand, my son might like to go somewhere different for a change and come with us. I'm conflicted 😐

Your own situation isn’t everybody’s tho BigBopper.

Here we go again, adult children expecting their parents to pay for everything. When will it stop.

I have said in a previous chat that all parents, once their adult children leave home, should emigrate as far away from them as possible and let them stand on their own two feet.

If I and my late husband had our time over again that is what we would do.

Since my husband died 10 years ago our two daughters got divorced 5 years after very expensive weddings which we paid for. Childminding our two granddaughters but being told what to feed them and where to take them, a thankless job. Then helping them out with money all the time. Even being told that I had plenty of money since their dad died so to start giving them money every month so the care home won't take it if I have to go into a home.

If I was younger I would move as far away from them as possible but I am now in my 80's and just cannot face the upheavil.

These years where the grands enjoy time on holiday with you will soon be over, so def do it while you can and make happy memories.😃

Thank you Oreo. That's kind of where I am. My son and daughter in law get help from her family whereas our daughter only has us.

If you can afford to do it then a wonderful thing to do and you all, especially the kids enjoy your holiday together.Your other family understand and don’t need it, so no need to feel guilty.
I would do it until you really can’t afford it then be honest and say it costs too much.At least you’re getting a holiday out of it at the same time, so that’s something.