Paying for family holidays?

If you can afford to do it then a wonderful thing to do and you all, especially the kids enjoy your holiday together.Your other family understand and don’t need it, so no need to feel guilty.
I would do it until you really can’t afford it then be honest and say it costs too much.At least you’re getting a holiday out of it at the same time, so that’s something.

Thank you Oreo. That's kind of where I am. My son and daughter in law get help from her family whereas our daughter only has us.

These years where the grands enjoy time on holiday with you will soon be over, so def do it while you can and make happy memories.😃

Here we go again, adult children expecting their parents to pay for everything. When will it stop.

I have said in a previous chat that all parents, once their adult children leave home, should emigrate as far away from them as possible and let them stand on their own two feet.

If I and my late husband had our time over again that is what we would do.

Since my husband died 10 years ago our two daughters got divorced 5 years after very expensive weddings which we paid for. Childminding our two granddaughters but being told what to feed them and where to take them, a thankless job. Then helping them out with money all the time. Even being told that I had plenty of money since their dad died so to start giving them money every month so the care home won't take it if I have to go into a home.

If I was younger I would move as far away from them as possible but I am now in my 80's and just cannot face the upheavil.

Your own situation isn’t everybody’s tho BigBopper.

On the other hand, my son might like to go somewhere different for a change and come with us. I'm conflicted 😐

Your son isn’t a single parent so the two families aren’t the same.

If you can't afford it, then you can't afford it.

Perhaps w weekend away might be a better option, and could include your son.

To be fair, my daughter didn't ask. It was my 11 year old granddaughter who very charmingly asked if we could have a family holiday. The kids range from 10-17 and they all came. We had a great time in Turkey but it might have to be Devon next year My hubby likes us to get away on our own too which we haven't done this year. So he'll be expecting that for sure!

Very true **Oreo

11 is old enough to understand that finances don't stretch to some things, as charming as they are.

It's more that it's becoming less affordable. We could do it, but can we justify it..probably not.

True!

We treat all ours, three adult children, partners and so far two grandchildren, to a group family holiday when we have a "0" wedding anniversary.
We book self-catering apartments through a holiday club we belong to, pay for everyone's flights and one celebration meal.
Apart from that they cater for themselves.
They're all happy with this.

When each adult child has a "0" birthday we treat or take them plus their partner on the same basis.

It spaces it out and gives me time to save up if I need to!
If we reach a point where we can't afford it we'd have to say so.

As for weddings, we've only ever offered to pay a third of the costs, and that's always been welcomed by each couple and the other parents in each case.

I certainly wouldn't be bullied into anything.
Fortunately our children have always appreciated the help we have given, for a variety of reasons, over the years.

I couldn’t afford to do it at the moment but if I ever can then I’ll def be doing it, at least now and then.

I would start by just explaining to your grandchildren why you will not be able to pay for holidays in the future. It may be hard for them, but for them to learn now that life is not always easy and some times we have to accept that we cannot have everything they want and also that we have to match our life style to our available income will be a very good lesson

Then, if you possible can, plan something smaller and less expensive to all do together, a weekend away, a visit to a theme park. The important part to the children, as well as the holiday, is being with you.

Children are very resilient, handle it carefully and all should be well.

Say to your daughter you are finding it harder to manage and what contribution will she be able to make to the family holiday? It seems to be taken rather for granted that you will provide all, and that needs to be stopped.

And why would Devon be seen as inferior to Turkey? Devon is Heaven, come rain or shine, if you're together as a family group.
You can justify the holiday to yourselves by saying these are precious times. Soon the children probably won't want to go away with the grandparents.
If you can't afford it, I would just explain the reason truthfully to your granddaughter.

Oreo

Your own situation isn’t everybody’s tho BigBopper.

Thank god my situation isn't everyone's but I am so sad that so many of these posters on the forums are telling the same old story, adult children, taking and taking and expecting everything.

When our two daughters told me to give them money so it would not go into paying for a care home, I told them enough is enough and I want my money and my home to pay for the best care home there is and if I gave them my money I would have to go into a care home of the council's choice.

I still have all my wits about me, am computer literate and am healthy and they have never, ever had to do a thing for me since their dad died. Long may it last.

I paid for flights to Spain for my lot kids and grandkids,,,,this year for a family holiday....but that was everyone's Christmas pressie....if anyone got married I would maybe offer to pay for the flowers or cake but that would be it ....I buy 3 lots of school uniforms and shoes every year and pay for days out for GC .....but the rest of my money needs to ladt me

Gran32

To be fair, my daughter didn't ask. It was my 11 year old granddaughter who very charmingly asked if we could have a family holiday. The kids range from 10-17 and they all came. We had a great time in Turkey but it might have to be Devon next year My hubby likes us to get away on our own too which we haven't done this year. So he'll be expecting that for sure!

There's nothing wrong with a caravan holiday in Devon or Cornwall unless the weather is rubbish in which case it becomes more expensive.

The 17 year old may not want to come anyway, the others could have a great time making friends and doing the activities on offer.

escaped

And why would Devon be seen as inferior to Turkey? Devon is Heaven, come rain or shine, if you're together as a family group.
You can justify the holiday to yourselves by saying these are precious times. Soon the children probably won't want to go away with the grandparents.
If you can't afford it, I would just explain the reason truthfully to your granddaughter.

Devon is Heaven

👍

Just because you’ve treated them to a few holidays in past years doesn’t mean it’s a done deal for every year in the future.

Tell the GC and DD that the next holiday will be for you and your DH as a couple, and will have to see how your finances pan out for the future.

I bet in a few years time the GC won’t be so keen on holidaying with the ageing GP’s.

Thank god my situation isn't everyone's but I am so sad that so many of these posters on the forums are telling the same old story, adult children, taking and taking and expecting everything.

Perhaps it's just the posters who have problems and are asking for advice that makes it seem as if so many have problems with their DC expecting too much from elderly parents.

The majority who don't have such problems don't need to ask for advice.