Sitting there like a bag of nutty slack...

Or, sitting there like cheese at fourpence

Babs, I defend the use of the phrase "neither use nor ornament ". I have worked with him and her occasionally.

A mouth like a crack in a pie.

A face like a bucket of smashed crabs.

I read that in a novel, once.

I heard many a time if someone was cross eyed, one eye going to the shop and the other coming back with the change lol

My gran would often say if you were lazing about on the couch, you're lying there like a store dug! She also used to say, if we were being a bit lazy, I've seen more life in a tramp's vest. she was hilarious.

I am from Lancashire and my mother and MIL had the following saying:

I was standing there like Emma Lemon or Don't just stand there like Emma Lemon - meaning feeling like/being a spare part

or

Replace Emma Lemon with 'one of Burton's' - as in Burton's dummies from the clothes shop

I was sweating on't top line - meaning I was worried or panicking . I think this comes from the cotton mills

She had a face like a frozen mop - I think my mother made this one up herself. She could be very witty.

A pig in a poke.

Fanny in a fit. Another of mams sayings.

She could eat an apple through railings.

If someone was bow legged, people here would say 'He couldn't stop a pig in an entry'.

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA! I'll remember that, it's hilarious!

I remember my parents buying nutty slack. I think it was cheap and pushed by the government as satisfactory coal.

Like a fart on a gimlet.

Baggs

My last primary school teacher (who was also the HT) used to say: sitting there like cheese at fourpence.

Oh my mum used to say that to me too! (She was from Lancashire)

If brains were gunpowder, he'd not have enough to blow his hat off.

Eyes like chapel hat pegs!

Oh that brought back memories. My mam used to say that. Along with don’t sit there looking like one o’clock half struck! Hahaha!!!!!!

Thats the one MissA🤣🤣🤣

One eye looking at you, the other one looking for you.

As good as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.

I was born with squints in both eyes ,
apparently I had one eye on the pot and t'other up the chimney.

I looked like a sack of S**t tied in the middle.

A man lived near us had one leg shorter than the other, had one leg and a flapper.

My mum had quite a spiteful nature, especially where I was concerned, I dont know where half her saying came from.

Gosh! "Nutty slack" - that brings back childhood memories. I remember deliveries of that, now that you mention it.

My parents where from Smethwick but we moved to the black country when I was 6 and they called coal nutty slack there as well.

My parents always called coal nutty slack.
I like as much use as a chocolate teapot.
Billy Connolly always made me laugh when he says someone was as much use as a fart in a spacesuit.