Chapters in your life closing

Really sorry to hear this LilCatMomma83. I think I understand the "feeling adrift" feeling - I posted about something similar when I joined here. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. But gradually it was all sorts of griefs and changes - my Dad died about 3 years ago and I had maybe never quite come to terms with that or the changes it made to my life.

Ill health is hard enough to deal with, without losing your job and role in life as well. All I can say is something a Cruse counsellor advised me. You can actually do a diagram of it.

You start with the small circle that is your life and you draw another circle around it, then another circle and so on. And basically that is how you expand your life to be a full circle again. You maybe start one new little thing and that expands life a bit. Then you might meet people through that and that expands life a bit. It takes time.

However, when you have health issues it can be hard to start new things. And we get bogged down with "managing" each day. But I would start with emailing or writing to old friends you haven't seen for years. I always find that helps - it reminds me of the person I was when I was young :-)

I'm retired 10 years now. Over this time several chapters have opened and closed again but, crucially, they were my choice. I'm currently in another one and it's looking interesting.
I hope the OP can find meaningful and interesting things to fill her life with.
BTW I do agree about missing the DGSs as little boys. Such fun. Polite now but very occupied with their own lives. To be expected of course but ...

All best wishes for your appointment Summerfly

I worked up to 68 so not early but it wasn’t when I d expected, my mum and dad died that year 6 months apart and I was completely all at sea needed work to keep me going grandchildren growing fast not so needed and last partner loooong gone It took me about 12 months to pull myself round and start voluntary work and I have never looked back I get so much out of it and ten years on I m still going strong

Summerfly I just wanted to wish you all the best for your appointment on Tuesday .

I’m finding it hard to accept the aging process. Yes, I know it’s inevitable and comes to us all. I’ve had a varied life. Married very young and had my children early. Divorced after thirty odd years. One of the most difficult and heartbreaking times ever. I’m married again to a wonderful man. Up until recently we had a great social life. DH is a musician and has been in bands since his teens. I’ve always loved the folk/acoustic scene but due to illness, I haven’t been able to attend. My voice has been affected by it which has made me so sad. I’m hoping with all my heart that my singing days won’t be over.
I’ve been fast tracked to see an ent specialist. I go on Tuesday and obviously, I’m feeling very unsettled about it all.

Yes it's difficult. I've had a varied life with many chapters in it. Many ups and downs. However one of the saddest chapters to close was when my grandson grew up and didn't need looking after any more. I said this to him recently and he said, "But I'm still here, Nanna," That was sweet but I miss him so much as a little boy and all the things we got up to.

I feel like I’m at the end of a chapter too, having made the decision to move out of the home DH and I shared for many years, my family are dispersing and I need to make the move while I’m able. Decluttering the house is hard as someone else said just Christmas dishes that I’ll never use again and the BBQ that DH loved to take charge of it’s just letting things go that’s difficult. It’s got to be done but I’m taking my time but along with lots of family stuff it can be overwhelming at times.
Onwards and upwards to the next chapter everyone.💐

I understand, too. I left work earlier than planned, and whereas I do some part-time and voluntary work it is all quite isolated, in contrast to going into the office most days and being around other people.

My children have properly moved away now. I didn't really count when they were at university, or for a while after, but they are both now settled in the towns where they studied (or nearby - my son moves to a new house on Wednesday), and unless life takes an unexpected turn I don't think they will come back to live with us.

It's difficult to feel useful sometimes, but I'm quite happy to take each day as it comes and see what happens. I did make a conscious decision to meet new people after Covid - I'd worked quite a distance from home, and wanted to have more to do in my local area. That's worked quite well. We go away a lot to our caravan, which gives a change of scenery. I do enjoy it, but sometimes it feels like it's more difficult to be part of things at home, as I have to ration regular commitments or try to group them together, so there's not too much coming and going.

I got rid of a lot of large cooking pots recently, as apart from Christmas I don't have large gatherings round the table any more. That was hard to do, but not seeing them every time I reach for a 'serves two' dish is better. I have gradually made the house more 'ours' in other ways, too. It isn't set up as a family home any more, but it works better for us as a (mostly) retired couple, and could change back again if the need arose.

I don't know what you did for your work, OP, but could you do something voluntary that would make you feel useful? It doesn't have to involve going somewhere if your health isn't up to it. You can do lots of things digitally now, if your skillset allows.

Hard One OP. It's good to reflect on these things. It seems this was out of your control.

Until recently my mother was " the old one". Now I realise I am.

Sometimes you think a Chapter is over but the page turns backwards!

Sorry you are struggling with depression it's a nasty thing which nobody chooses.

I too am finding this part of life unsettling.

I am not in quite the same positions as you, but feel I and my DH are "making life up as we go along", currently.
Not at all what we did previously.

Hello LilCat I'm sorry that due to health issues you're having to retire earlier than you wish.

Sometimes the closure of a chapter in one's life can seem particularly daunting when it's not a chapter we ever thought would close, and can leave us feeling adrift, as you do now.

You do as you say have an open book of opportunity to write those next precious chapters and even if you find yourself staring at an empty page and wondering what to write to begin with, I'm sure that page wont stay empty for long.

I wish you well .