As others see us?

My granddaughters often ask me where my red hair has gone I say it just happens as you age. I have never bothered to dye it I just accept it as it is now.

Kate1949

I'm 75. No beige for me. Mother Nature hasn't been kind to me - hair loss, teeth loss. I have fought back as best I can. This is me (sort of) at a party last Saturday.

I love your hair!

Can't wear mine long because it makes my face look 'dragged down' so some might think I have an 'old lady style, but I hope not!
The mirror at the hairdressers today was most unflattering and I did think "Surely that's not me?" 😯

Thank you Allira. I can't take the credit. It's not my hair but don't tell anyone!

Marydoll
sounds like a sudden attack of acute agoraphobia that drove you to try to get into a drawer of the freezer.
Glad it passed even if it did leave you crawling about for a while.

Marydoll

I forgot to add, I still have my red hair at 69, never coloured it. It now looks as if it has blonde highlights, which are actually white hair.
I think that makes me look younger.

I have to get down on my hands and knees on a pad to do the weeding.
Sharon, if I got down on my knees, I would never get back up again.

My neighbour came over to speak to me in the garage. She couldn't see me, because I was crawling along the floor, trying to get up after attempting to go into the bottom shelf of the freezer.

It's a bit of a challenge to get back up again Marydoll. ha ha! The summer before I lost balance and rolled over on my side. I had to roll back and got back up like a crab.
I'm thinking of getting one of those kneelers that you can turn upside down and there's bars to hold on to.
What a state to get in to.

I'm told I don't look my age (I'm 68) but I think it's because I'm small. I am still very active, happy to crawl on the floor with the grandkids and still climb on the kitchen base units to reach the upper shelves of the wall cupboards. In my head, I still think I'm in my 30s, but a close look in the mirror and few aches and pains remind me that I'm not! My fashion choices haven't changed much over the years, I have always preferred fitted tailored clothes (as I'm small, loose, baggy clothes look dreadful on me). I try to look after myself as much as I can, grey roots done every 6 weeks and I wear some makeup every day. I do tend to agree that if you feel old, you look old.

I have always been told that I don’t look my age… until recently.
At 87 I suddenly have aged, I think it is inevitable that age catches up with you.
My mobility has worsened and I stoop more, that is very aging I think.

I hope your friend isnt on Gransnet RosiesMaw2 and recognises herself!!
I am 75 and feel that my health and worries about DH have aged me in the last year. I must pull my socks up. Lack of sleep doesn't help at all...wideawake now at 4.00 am.

Car drivers stop to let me cross the road more than ever before. A mixed blessing.

You can tell a person's age from the way they walk. Older people tend to walk stiffly as though they are walking on eggshells. Younger people tend to stride along confidently.
My neighbour is exactly the same age as me but seems much older. It's partly her attitude, a negative thinker, but also because she has a lot of health problems. At the moment, my age is no barrier to my activities. I'm thankful.

Recently I was with my 6-year-old grandson. He was showing me some very realistic rubber snakes he has. I said that I hoped they wouldn't eat me. He told me they wouldn't because I'm too wrinkly! I'll turn 78 next month. Wow! Ever since my husband's sister died from cancer at age 59, I have just been grateful to be alive and healthy. I have osteoporosis and am careful about what shoes I wear and need to get back to doing strength training. I stopped going to a class because of Covid and I have gotten weaker. In my mind, I'm about 30.

I probably look my age - white hair, collapsed face/bat wings, but… apart from slight aphasia, I’m mentally fighting fit. I walk everywhere or take a bus as I no longer have a car.
Yes, I’m old at 76 but in much better shape mentally and physically than many of my peers. It at be because I’m very lucky to have very little wrong with me - the “organ recital “ would take seconds!

Who cares, people see this smiley friendly chatty active and strong small person with wrinkles. Always busy, liking to be busy, helpful to others. doing maintenance, digging, sawing trees, clearing my allotment. 76 and what they see is how they hope they might age. Looks don`t matter neither do clothes nor beautifying adornments

Sharon, I have one of those kneelers. I still struggle! I spend more time sitting on it, than kneeling.

mum2three, I agree that negative thinking plays a part in seeming older. Recently I was described as ebullient and youthful, no point in moaning all the time.

Looks don`t matter neither do clothes nor beautifying adornments
I tend to disagree Karma. The moment I stop looking after my appearance, is the moment I have given up. DH knows I am struggling, by what I am wearing.

Also, I have noticed the difference in how people are treated at medical appointments (rightly or wrongly) depending on how they look and present themselves.

RosiesMaw, I had a similar experience, I was at work, when one of my colleagues came over and said there was an old lady at the counter who would like a word with me.
I went over, big smile, ready to help, when she said, you’re Sara aren’t you? I agreed that I was, we were in Miss Goodings class at junior school, she said.
I couldn’t honestly place her at all, but she looked so old, I couldn’t believe we were contemporaries.
We had a five minute chat about her ailments, and her husband’s ailments, and that was that
But I felt quite depressed afterwards.

I must admit to being a person who doesn’t pay a lot of attention to how she looks other than a good haircut and not too scary clothes. I’ve always had good skin so used minimal make up, and was always told I didn’t “look my age”. Since DH died, I have certainly begun to look my age. I was looking at some photos that were taken at his funeral and I looked years younger. God knows what has happened in those two and a half years to make me look like a Basset hound. I favour casual clothes but don’t think I “dress old”. Last Friday, I joined my son and DiL at their local pub to meet some friends, all of whom are in their mid fifties early sixties, and despite my dusty pink chinos, fair isle sweater and nice smart jacket, I felt very like the aged parent 😂! But I’m reasonably fit for my 78 years, can still hold an intelligent conversation, and people can take me as they find me or not at all.

What is “dressing old”. I honestly have no idea. All my friends wear jeans and casual clothing now. Formal dress for just going out for a coffee seems dated to me.
Some on here say they dress fashionably and smartly, but what is fashionably? Baggy trousers, short skirts?
Dress is obviously important for first impressions but personality and attitude is far far more important.

I don’t know why some feel pride about not looking their age, why? As MOnica says there is a great diversity in looks at any age, and many have a negative stereotype in their heads of what old people look like.

Glorify in being so lucky as to live to old age I say and enjoy the moment.
Illness can be a great leveller.

What is “dressing old”. I honestly have no idea

Oh gosh. I do.

Even when the people who would now be in their 90s, were in their 50s, they looked old. In real life, and in photographs and videos.
I seemed to grow up with a lot of them!

What do they wear fancythat? Genuine question.

In her forties, people thought my mother was my granny. She looked so old and weary.

Farzanah

What do they wear fancythat? Genuine question.

Pleated tweedy calf length skirts, twinsets and pearls, brogues, etc I guess. Though an 18 yr old girl could wear those and look ‘cool’!

Farzanah

What do they wear fancythat? Genuine question.

Beige!

Grannybags

Farzanah

What do they wear fancythat? Genuine question.

Beige!

I am wearing beige today! I can assure you, I am not dressed like an old lady! 😁

I know that others see me as much older now by the amount of help I am instantly offered when I am out and about. Very heart warming. My children have always be kind with doing jobs but interestingly, my DH is now much more willing to accept help.

I think it is more noticeable in our movements than in our appearance.

Glorify in being so lucky as to live to old age I say and enjoy the moment.
Illness can be a great leveller.

Isn't it just!
As is pain.

Count your blessings, you never know what's waiting round the corner to smack you in the face.
But try to stay cheerful! No-one really wants to hear a litany of ailments.

Nothing wrong with tweed. I’ve just bought myself a tweed jacket. Beautiful fabric, skilfully tailored, a touch of colour in the mix. I feel like a million dollars in it. Timeless.