As others see us?

I'm 76 and since losing a lot of weight a while a go when I was ill I really look it. I have shingles at the moment which means I can't do my excercises in the pool. So I've decided to accept how I look and just aim for being healthy and young thinking. Just lippy, mascara, eyebrows and blusher will do.

kittylester

Our children certainly don't think of us as old - they are more likely to ask us to help them than to ask if we need any help.

Totally agree with this. I've recently been asked by one of my AC to get rid of a shed and sort out things with the builder!

I feel young in my head , but my body is letting me down .
There are two very distinct reactions -
One friend , who constantly reminds me that I'm elderly .
She has a best friend with exactly the same health problems as I have and listening to her -I'm really not surprised that this friend is grumpy with her .
No one wants to be constantly reminded .

I'm really grateful when people help me on the bus .

I get increasingly fed up at church as I'm always being asked to do extra activities -gardening , bible studies etc .
As it is , I do the church flowers and it's a massive church .
The other flower arrangers struggle to arrange flowers and are difficult to liaise with .

That sounds lovely Greyduster. Where is it from? Great over jeans or something smarter. And warm.

I think baggy track suit bottoms and sweatshirts are the kiss of death. Unless you are really exercising or gardening. Even when just at home they make you feel baggy and old.

Clarksons in York, HelterSkelter.

Greyduster
I can tell you what has happened in the last 2 1/2 years- as if you didn’t know.
You can’t go through the trauma of illness, bereavement, grief and the exhaustion that accompanies them without it showing.
Rest and time for you may help but I am reminded of the lines of the song “Maggie”
Your face is a well- written page, Maggie
But time alone was the pen
(I’d add “grief and pain to that)

Bless you, Maw. I don’t think anything would help my face now but a bucketful of Polyfilla, but I’m told I have a lovely smile! I’ll take that.

I'm really grateful when people help me on the bus .

One advantage of getting older and struggling a bit (I've been using one of those NHS walking sticks for a while!) is the number of people who offer help, often it's a nice young man 😀

I’ve found this too. In Durham recently I asked directions from a lady and she told me, and said “but you have to go down rather a lot of steps. Can you manage or would you like me to see you down them?” I thanked her for her kindness and declined.

A few years back when I thought I was still looking OK I was offered a seat on the Tube when coming back from Kew Gardens. I was carrying a complicated plant support system and I think the young woman thought it was some sort of walking aid....or I just looked older than I thought I did.

On the basis of this thread and because its a bit nippy I put on my smarter than normal Seasalt coat and tidied myself up a bit. Felt a bit chipper.

Greyduster

Bless you, Maw. I don’t think anything would help my face now but a bucketful of Polyfilla, but I’m told I have a lovely smile! I’ll take that.

A very valid point - not the Polyfilla, but the lovely smile - ever since somebody asked what was worrying me, I’ve made the effort for my “resting bitch face” to be a smile- not a silly grin, more of a Mona Lisa mysterious smile.
How many (older) people do you see with grumpy faces, very ageing especially when compared with happy smiling little people.

Yes I have a resting bitch face. And forehead.
I have to keep reminding myself to look happier. If I try I do feel a bit happier inside.

I do too.
My dear friend, no longer with us, used to say that I smiled at everyone. That's probably because I'd terrify them otherwise.

I used the lock-down time to let my hair colour grow out. I had it cut into a short elfin kind of style which I think suits me better and luckily my white hair is white and shiny. My previous dyed colour was a light to mid brown and my hair is quite thin. I think it looks thicker now which I had not expected. However, I have noticed that people treat me differently now that my hair is white, Shop assistants say "Oh bless". They are all very kind but I definitely sense a change of perception. I am highly articulate, my brain still functions reasonably well for my almost 77 years of age. I dress like I've always dressed, simple cuts, casual clothes but a few more business-like clothes for meetings. So it must be the hair. Had there not been a covid lock-down I would have spent another 10 years of expensive three weekly trips to the hairdresser for colouring and cutting , Now I have a cut and blow dry completed in 30 minutes every five weeks for a lot less than I was paying for having it coloured. So now I am adjusting to being perceived as an old lady but inside I still feel about 40.

Farzanah - I'd say "granny blue", "granny lilac" and "granny pink".

Benjamin Moore have made a paint called Grandma's Sweater in nearly the blue I mean.

Grannybags

Farzanah

What do they wear fancythat? Genuine question.

Beige!

What’s this about beige? I think it can look expensive. I’ve just bought a really good quality thicker merino jumper from M&S. which could be described as beige, which I will wear with jeans or fine cord leggings. Some bright primary colours especially in cheap fabrics can look tacky imo.

I once spotted an older lady in Puerto Banus, dressed in beige and white. She looked absolutelyamazing.

It not about the colour beige, but how you accessorise and style it.
it.

I was shocked when I got a ring door camera. I thought I walked briskly and stood up straight. Sadly I look older than I thought.

I think we can never see ourselves as others see us.
We all see things differently when we look at things/people and carry far too much baggage and preconceptions about ourselves to see ourselves objectively anyway. Perhaps it’s a good job. We can kid ourselves 😀

To be fair, beige can look great.

Marydoll

Grannybags

Farzanah

What do they wear fancythat? Genuine question.

Beige!

I am wearing beige today! I can assure you, I am not dressed like an old lady! 😁

Some women just don’t get beige or don’t know how to wear it. I’d be lost without my beige 😥

I think when people talk about “beige” in a disparaging way, in connection with older people, it’s shorthand for the whole overall dowdy look - a fawn coloured, shapeless ‘Mac’, over beige slacks that are slightly too short.

What's wrong with wearing blue,pink lilac or beige.? I have several items of clothing in these colours

I'm forming an camel - coat supporters group ( different from a beige coat, obvs)
I think mine is chic.
Also, I have a wild pink and green tweed jacket from Joe Brown that garners lots of compliments.
My face doesn't attract the same number of compliments, unfortunately..

75 next April and had a rough year last year health-wise. Apart from aching joints all has been well in 2024 so I am making the most of it. Three holidays abroad over the Summer and heading off to Norway later this week. When the grandchildren visit though I realise I'm "not that young any more" as Maurice Chevalier would say.