As others see us?

I do make an effort for special occasions but most of the time as long as I am comfortable and won't scare the horses I don't particularly worry about how others see me. I had that worry when younger, always aware of the male and female gaze, but am quite happy in my own skin now I am much older.
And because my OH and I love to ramble I usually wear old mud spattered jeans in a trusted pair of old walking boots, and jumper/fleece under a waterproof jacket with woolly hat.

A recent visit to A&E made my day when the doctor treating me couldn’t believe I was 77. No make up on, hair needed washing. Quite a compliment. Usually active, make up when I go out and try to look smart. Felt every bit of 77 that day but the compliment cheered me up.

I seem to consider myself fit and still able to do a lot of the things I did in my younger days.

I shall soon be 73 and when I compare myself to many others of my age I AM fit and able to do things that many of them cannot, which I count a a blessing.

However, since losing my husband last year, I have noticed that quite a lot of younger adults in the 30 to 60 age groups, seem to see me as a old lady who should be doing less and taking care of herself. Some of these people know me well enough, and knew my huband well enough to know how we had divided household tasks between us and should really know their seeming assumptions that I am afraid to be alone in this house (I am not) should not do household tasks that I have done happily since I left my childhood home at the age of sixteen, are out of touch with my reality, but apparently they do not know this.

Strangers too seem to think that anyone over 70 is a frail old lady or gentleman. Many are, but not us all.

So I obviously see myself very differently to the way others see me. Who is right?

We spent last night at the hospital Aand E.
As we left my dh was given medication and was asked if he paid for them. He is late 70 s.(Funny thing is he looks his age).

I have a dear friend, very bright and lively, but she looks every day of her 76 years. "I think I look more like 60," she said to me recently. I smiled and said nothing.
As for myself, I know I look terrible, wrinkly and washed out after a major operation recently. Fortunately my joints work okay so I can walk normally, get up from the floor etc.

I wear what I like, lots of colour, I have flaming red hair, dyed,I have to say, don’t care two hoots what others think, tho my daughter often says, it doesn’t take long to find you, when I’ve veered away fro her, my family obviously think I’m young as forever saying, oh mum will sort that, my two lovely granddaughters think I’m awesome, that keeps me going!!

petra

Marydoll

Grannybags

Farzanah

What do they wear fancythat? Genuine question.

Beige!

I am wearing beige today! I can assure you, I am not dressed like an old lady! 😁

Some women just don’t get beige or don’t know how to wear it. I’d be lost without my beige 😥

Petrol that is similar to what I am wearing today. I thought I looked quite chic unold lady looking. 😂

Nannylovesshopping

I wear what I like, lots of colour, I have flaming red hair, dyed,I have to say, don’t care two hoots what others think, tho my daughter often says, it doesn’t take long to find you, when I’ve veered away fro her, my family obviously think I’m young as forever saying, oh mum will sort that, my two lovely granddaughters think I’m awesome, that keeps me going!!

A healthy attitude imho, I also like lots of colour, have no favourites but did go through a purple phase.

At a recent family dinner we were talking about music, we got on to Robert Smith of The Cure.
My granddaughter's partner said, "oh he's getting on a bit now"
I said "he's the same age as me"
Poor lad looked so embarrassed but I just laughed and thought well maybe I don't look 63

Petra that coat is great and a very classy look.
Rock on shades of beige 👍👍

Ziggy Someone on TV the other day referred to Shania Twain as 'an old woman'. She is 59!

It helped when we could wear masks !

Kate1949

Ziggy Someone on TV the other day referred to Shania Twain as 'an old woman'. She is 59!

Yes, I heard that too!

Can’t think which programme it was, but I was shocked as I didn’t realise she was so old.

Dear Maw, you will be glad to know that I see you as you see yourself!
You are a well turned out smart lady, yes, agree with the edgy haircut, and you are very elegantly dressed.
You have an amazing sense of style and are as far from the 'old dear' look as it is possible to be!

As for me, well, people are probably thinking 'mutton dressed as lamb'.... Doesn't look good on someone of her age!
I have mini-skirts and boots in my wardrobe, wear skinny jeans and jeggings, shorts in the summer, and still colour my hair.
I shall be 80 in April.... but in my head I'm 24...

I've a feeling it was David in Coronation Street Calendargirl.

M0nica

I have no sense of age, and never have had. I am just continuing to be myself, whatever that may mean.

Same here. Sometimes I forget how old I am. And no, I’m not loosing it 😂

petra

M0nica

I have no sense of age, and never have had. I am just continuing to be myself, whatever that may mean.

Same here. Sometimes I forget how old I am. And no, I’m not loosing it 😂

Same here.

But thinking about how others see us... I was watching Friends yesterday with an old friend and I said 'I think I'm more of a Phoebe than a Rachel or Monica'. She said 'No, you're definitely still Monica'.

AreWeThereYet

petra

M0nica

I have no sense of age, and never have had. I am just continuing to be myself, whatever that may mean.

Same here. Sometimes I forget how old I am. And no, I’m not loosing it 😂

Same here.

But thinking about how others see us... I was watching Friends yesterday with an old friend and I said 'I think I'm more of a Phoebe than a Rachel or Monica'. She said 'No, you're definitely still Monica'.

I know I’m Monica. 😂

Less mobile walking a bit slower pain in hip. But I’m still working do my hair and make up and try and be as good as I can be. 64. By the way.

Shania Twain is 59!!!!

For reasons unknown, when GD1 first asked me my age, I said 155. She said gosh and carried on regardless. She was 12 last week and asked, very matter of factly, are you still 155?

Kim19: That is hilarious! You have a great sense of humor.

petra

AreWeThereYet

petra

M0nica

I have no sense of age, and never have had. I am just continuing to be myself, whatever that may mean.

Same here. Sometimes I forget how old I am. And no, I’m not loosing it 😂

Same here.

But thinking about how others see us... I was watching Friends yesterday with an old friend and I said 'I think I'm more of a Phoebe than a Rachel or Monica'. She said 'No, you're definitely still Monica'.

I know I’m Monica. 😂

But I am M0nica!

queenofsaanich69

It helped when we could wear masks !

Masks, sunglasses and a sunhat 😁
Works wonders!

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-630266-screenshot-20241105-140243.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-709155-img-20241031-wa0001.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202411/medium-733971-img-20240414-wa0002.jpg

Age is just a number but we can easily fall into the stereotype trap. How does society expect us to look and behave at a certain age? It's important to be as active as possible regardless of what you look like. Here I am doing karate. I'm 72 and I'm the oldest in our club but I'm more flexible than a lot of my fellow students. Karate demands good balance too. People are always asking me if I'm still doing karate, as if I really ought to have given up by now. I'll never give up.