I felt sad

I used to take a little Gdd to a singalong/stay and play, where phones were banned. Pity the same doesn’t apply to soft plays, where too many parents are glued to their phones while their bigger children rampage around the little ones’ areas, bashing into them and knocking them over. And any staff do nothing, at least as far as I’ve ever seen.

I see this every day as I live on the route to a primary school. Some parents are on their phones literally as soon as they leave their house. I see Mum pushing a baby in a buggy and one or two kids trailing behind as she chats away on her phone. Anything could be happening behind her but she is oblivious.

Get closer to the school and almost every parked car has a parent talking on their phone. I just don’t get it. Why can’t they just wait until the kids are in school?

Another pet hate is careworkers who are accompanying (and ignoring) people with learning difficulties or elderly disabled who are on their phones. I think they should be banned during work hours because they are paid to care for that person not ignore them.

I think sometimes we’re guilty of looking through rose tinted glasses. My mum and grandma were so lovely, but they didn’t entertain me or play lots of games and do crafts with me, and as a generation we didn’t expect it. We played out, read books, played with our toys etc. when my grandma looked after me I made my own entertainment or sat and read comics. I sometimes used to put my kids in front of the video player for a break. I spend so much time entertaining my grandchildren, but yes, I do occasionally put the telly on so I can scroll through GN. As for the pub - I’m sure we can all remember the bottle of pop and bag of crisps we were given in the car while our parents were in there chatting. Of course there was always, and always will be, parents who don’t do a great job, but most of us try our best.

I remember once pointing out some cows to my girls from the top of the bus. I then realised that the children were not with me ! I raised a few smiles from other passengers!
I have a smart phone, but only use it for calls and text messages, preferring my laptop for anything else. I have noticed on TV quiz shows that the general knowledge of younger people is sadly lacking these days.

travelsafar I agree with you. It is actually very rare to see a mum interacting with their little one. Everyday we are out in our park and 99% of mums are on their phone. I can not believe they are all taking an important call.

Well if you grew up in my generation and were working class our mums worked 6 days a week and were washing cleaning and tidying the house on the off day 🤣
It’s just different I agree I don’t like sloppy parenting but how do you know the lady in this post wasnt having to take an important text or call at that moment
It’s a bit of a judgement for a half hour or less window

Whilst you can’t judge a whole family set up on brief moments , sometimes those brief moments are everything to a child. I recently took my grandchildren to their local park. The play area is inside railings. There was a little boy of about 2 years old wandering around . He was too small to get onto the equipment by himself. BOTH parents were sat outside the railings on a bench , both with their heads in their own phones not interacting with each other and just occasionally glancing up to check the child. After 10 mins the mum shouted the boy , as they walked away I could see him putting his hand up to hold her hand but both parents had both hands scrolling and texting as they walked and were completely oblivious. Now I’m sure they are good parents and the boy is loved and cared for but in that moment I could sense his rejection as he lagged behind and it was sad!

😬

Hello, yes I agree everyone seems to be so intent on their phones even when out with children

Weren’t our own children lucky- to bury our head in our mobiles wasn’t an option!

BlessedArt

The judgement is implicit in the sad feelings for the child. It’s also very blatant in some comments.

We don’t know the lives of strangers and it isn’t very nice to make snap judgements based on such minute interactions. Additionally, every generation has more than their fair share of parenting faux pas.

I have to agree with this.
I know a good few Mums with young children and find they are always out and about. The children are taken to lots of activities where ‘Mum’ joins in and they get plenty of opportunities to interact a with other children and the adults.
Still people will make snap judgments all the time
DH and I were in a cafe whilst on holiday. A woman passed us and I heard her say’ another couple on their phones with nothing to say to each other’.
Well actually we had spent the last 10 days doing nothing but talking to each other . We were simply catching up with messages as where we were staying had no internet.

When children played in the streets there was little traffic, and there was always someone on watch; 'the women used to police the streets,' and if there was a calamity, the mothers were in the house doing endless housework.

I think I posted on here before some years ago on a thread like this.
We were away on a beach one day , it was in England, East coast and a rare warm day, very warm in fact.
We were sat on a wall on the edge of the beach and further along was a tiny boy, he was emptying his bucket and found a shell or something and took it to his Mum to look, she was so entranced in her phone that she ignored him, he kept saying 'Look Mummy, look Mummy' she mumbled 'Yeah' and never once looked to see what he had brought her, he was also getting sunburned on his face and she wasn't even noticing. I felt so sad, I rmembered when my son was that age and how excited I was to show him the beach and how we talked about every pebble, bit of seaweed and stuff he found. Fancy missing out on all that .

In a café we were sitting near a mother (or carer maybe) who was on the phone the whole time, while two little girls sat across from her. The older, around 7 was helping the younger, around three to draw on a piece of paper. The adult never spoke to them nor they to her. Eventually she got up to go, putting on a raincoat, while the older child buttoned the younger up and took her hand. The woman walked quickly out of the building and the children followed without a word being exchanged. I had to think, this constitutes child neglect, and could feel nothing but pity for the children, who seemed to take the situation as quite normal.

My daughter worked in a nursery and now in a special school and is amazed that there are children still in nappies who are clean and dry when in school and one child of 6 still coming to school with a bottle of milk for lunch - but again is quite capable of eating simple food and drinking from a cup with adult support. Some parents appear unable to parent for whatever reason.

Paperbackwriter. You are trying to be nice. The OP is quite correct.

You have no idea what that mother was doing on her phone. Maybe use some imagination before judging? Perhaps she was sorting out her divorce; dealing with a sick relative; trying to sort out how to pay her rent or mortgage. You didn't see how she reacts with her child at other times so please just stop with the so-superior attitude.

It's true. Interacting all the time with our phones rather than the people around us. It's creeping up on all generations, I think, even us oldies. I am finding myself doing it. Writing this on grandsnet rather than talking to my husband for example. I hadn't thought about mums not interacting with small children because they are on the phone. But apparently some babies scroll all the time before they can talk. Teenagers in my family are on their phones all the time during family gatherings.. I am one of the generation who was out in the world with other children from a young age not taken around by our mothers. But we were not on phones. Is it going to change human brains? Especially children who are growing up now. Scary.

Out local primary schools have banned parents getting their phones out in the playground, at least the child is then greeted by the parent when coming out of school

They also need to potty train them too. Before they go to school.

With you all the way on this one Blessed art. Original post is making uninformed judgement as she has no idea what the mother is doing on the phone. Paying the mortgage ..consulting her GP....arranging a birthday treat for the little one ....!

Definite bone of contention in my house. DD doesn’t visit very often and when she does she sits with her head in her phone while holding a conversation with us !!! I have told her that it’s very rude so she puts it away but 10 minutes later she has to check her messages in case it’s something important!She rarely talks to her children unless it’s to shout at them. She is now dealing with the consequences as her oldest children are now rebelling and are constantly in trouble both at school and around the village they live in. It is so sad because she was always such a kind and caring daughter. I am of the opinion that she is seriously addicted and needs help but everyone just laughs off my suggestion and saying it’s just the world we now live in. As you say travelsafar, it is so sad.

We were in Glasgow city centre recently and whilst waiting on my Dh bringing the car to pick me and DS1 up we couldn’t help but notice a young couple with a wee tot in a pram and the foul language coming of the mothers mouth would’ve made a sailor blush. My DS turned to me and thanked me for never speaking like that as the wee boy in the buggy was very clearly upset and was being totally ignored. My DS said he was happy I used to ask people not to swear in front of my kids, because it made him feel he was cared for.

Sad indeed Esmay

Can't stand those mothers who have phone in one hand and pushing pram with other hand so depressing and dangerous. Phones are a curse