Do you think the kindness has gone out of people?

There is a lot of kindness around still. There are also people that I come into contact with that are not thoughtful and kind but I just try to avoid these individuals.
On gransnet most are kind and supportive just the odd few that make unnecessary comments. I just ignore.

Jeanathome

That's it really. People seem angry, territorial, and partisan.

I'm sure I recall a gentler ,kinder time.

Ha ha, that sounds like Corbyn speak which fell on deaf ears in his party. The current lot in Labour are always calling people names.

No I don't think so. I seem to hear of acts of kindness every day. The world is full of people doing good things , helping each other, saving animals, raising money for charity, It's just that we hear more about bad things on the news and social media. Millions of kindnesses go unnoticed.
I firmly believe this.

Around here we have great community kindness and support.

Young Mum had a stillborn baby a couple of years ago and the whole village rallied round and raised many thousands for a stillbirth charity in the baby’s memory.

Village events are always very well attended and people give very generously.

Personally I have an elderly man over for a meal quite often which he really enjoys, I pick up litter in the village, I knit baby clothes for any new baby I hear of, I pop in and see neighbours who have been in hospital and I always offer lifts to people visiting relatives in hospital. I think we all try to be kind.

I think “perceived” kindness online has gone, I think people are ruder and brasher online (keyboard warriors) than perhaps they might be in person (or at least I hope so!)

I really like to believe that people in general are compassionate, caring, empathic and loving, that to me is kindness, along with selflessness.

I was brought up to try and think of others and to be “kind”.

Sometimes responses on here are not at all kind!

Primrose53

Around here we have great community kindness and support.

Young Mum had a stillborn baby a couple of years ago and the whole village rallied round and raised many thousands for a stillbirth charity in the baby’s memory.

Village events are always very well attended and people give very generously.

Personally I have an elderly man over for a meal quite often which he really enjoys, I pick up litter in the village, I knit baby clothes for any new baby I hear of, I pop in and see neighbours who have been in hospital and I always offer lifts to people visiting relatives in hospital. I think we all try to be kind.

That’s so good to hear

JaneJudge

I'm kind to people and my neighbours and they are kind to me. We can choose ourselves how we want and need to behave, we don't have to join in, in any nastiness

👏👏👏

I don’t think we have changed much as human beings. When I was a child people could be horribly unkind to anyone who was black, Irish, or in any way foreign. Nowadays thank goodness that has changed, most people are kinder, more accepting, even with all the hoohah about asylum seekers etc. And I think some of the younger generation are wonderful, my own grown family and their friends care about the suffering of others, social injustices, and climate change.
The best way to receive a kindness is to show it to others, am a big believer in doing one small thing a day that could help someone else or could cheer them up. A smile and a thank you, a chat with someone at the bust stop, a hot drink for a homeless person etc. I could pretend this is totally altruistic but it is also a means of feeling good about myself.

I see a lot of kindness from contributors to the food bank at which I volunteer.

Apologies my opening sentence doesn’t make much sense inasmuch s I say we haven’t changed much then say we have indeed changed.
Pedant alert - I know this already. A senior moment 😂

Babs03

I don’t think we have changed much as human beings. When I was a child people could be horribly unkind to anyone who was black, Irish, or in any way foreign. Nowadays thank goodness that has changed, most people are kinder, more accepting, even with all the hoohah about asylum seekers etc. And I think some of the younger generation are wonderful, my own grown family and their friends care about the suffering of others, social injustices, and climate change.
The best way to receive a kindness is to show it to others, am a big believer in doing one small thing a day that could help someone else or could cheer them up. A smile and a thank you, a chat with someone at the bust stop, a hot drink for a homeless person etc. I could pretend this is totally altruistic but it is also a means of feeling good about myself.

Kate1949

We had breakfast yesterday in Wetherspoons with our family. The manager told everyone that they would observe the two minutes silence. There were a lot of people in the pub and everyone, young and old, observed it.

That’s good to hear.

Graceless

I was really shocked at the responses to the thread on allowing a neighbour to use shower.

Why?

I would not ask to use a neighbour's shower and I doubt that any of my kind neighbours would ask to use ours.

Offering if you hear they are in difficulties is one thing but asking to use a neighbour's shower every other day for a fortnight is quite an imposition.

They are territorial because they have been encouraged to own their own little plots of land and woe betide anyone who encroaches on it.
Well, if you do own your little plot of land, is it unkind to not want someone to bring their dog on it and use it for a loo? Or for someone to park on your drive without asking (as someone did the other day - still don't know who it was).

I am kind and helpful but even I have my limits.

Kindness is still around here. Small things like letting someone with only a couple of things go before you in the queue, picking up a shoe that a babe in a pram has jut kicked off, offering a lift if you see your neighbour just miss a bus, or a colleague walking home in the pouring rain (That certainly didn’t happen when I was younger. Our neighbour would just wave to me as they set off in their car, raining or not.)
The worst thing today is the be kind that really means agree with me or you’re wrong.

There’s still a lot of kindness about - especially in my cul de sac

or a colleague walking home in the pouring rain
When I first started work I used to catch the same bus each day and a senior colleague used to pass the bus stop every morning and wave to me but never stopped and offered a lift. I was good friends with his daughter and we all saw each other in church where he and his wife were very active members.
One day he said he didn't offer me a lift because his wife wouldn't like it. Goodness knows what his wife thought I would ever see in him!

I think there is a raised level on mainstream media as well as some of the darker corners of social media of inciting divisiveness and quite hateful remarks. People feel permission to do this. I think many people live under a greater degree of stress and it can bring out the best and the worst.

Everyday kindness matters more than ever.

Jeanathome

That's it really. People seem angry, territorial, and partisan.

I'm sure I recall a gentler ,kinder time.

... when was that time - according to your calculation?

I remember, in a rose-tinted kind of nostalgic way, when life appeared to be much simpler, although I'm not sure I even quite understand what I mean by that.

There may be some truth in what you say (and feel). I really don't know.

It's difficult, because communities still come together; there are all kinds of support-groups dotted around the country, and online, for all sorts of problems. And people still volunteer - give their time and energy freely.

???

This is just a very personal POV - I have no concrete evidence to support it, but - I have the nagging feeling that Margaret Thatcher set out to break the cohesion of the working class, something that bound people and communities together. Not because she was a spiteful individual, but because it was a necessary political manoeuvre to achieve the social, economic and political climate in which her policies would be successful.

We became individuals. The 'team' spirit (so to speak) became competitive because competitiveness is at the core of neo-liberal, free-market ideology.

The 'brotherhood' of earlier industrial communities - and I don't mean simply the brotherhood of the trades unions, but the solidarity between working families all engaged in the same pursuit / industry which was, I think, gradually lost as people had to compete for alternative jobs in an environment where financial support organisations were gradually cut back / eroded. I think the seeds of division were then planted.

And then of course came the internet - and social media, which gave everyone a platform in which to actually air their views, feelings, dissatisfaction, etc, etc. I believe it had a quite powerful and liberating effect - possibly even gave us a sense of power that we'd previously not had... anonymously we could say things that we might not have dared to say face to face. Those social and political ideas and thoughts which would previously have been confined to chats around the pub bar, in the office, or among family and friends... suddenly, we could address and challenge anyone and everyone - on anything.

And it's hard, it's difficult, when opposed or challenged online - especially if the terminology is in some way insulting, or the co-respondent questions your level of intelligence or your values - not to respond similarly. Thus, social media can be a cyber battleground of accusations, counter-accusations, insults, etc, etc. A place where kind and gentle folk maybe become alarmed at the sheer vitriol and nastiness that appears to be the social norm of communication.

But, in their private life away from the internet, are these people really unkind people? That's the question. I'm not sure (apart from obvious exceptions) that they are.

Anyway, as said, that's just my take on the matter.

No I really think that people, being people are as kind or as unkind as at any other time in history.

I have a calendar that tells me all sorts of special things about the days covering a range of religions and national days around the world.

Turns out that, according to it, Wednesday this week is World Kindness Day.

I think people are still basically kind most of the time . I think the supermarket queue is a good example. Several times I’ve had just 2 or 3 items and someone has asked would I lie to go before them. I’ve accepted and been effusive in my thanks. Small kindness’s cost nothing and make the world go round

Sorry like not lie

Social media has spawned keyboard warriors. Anonymity emboldens people but I think in real life (most) people are kind. Maybe it depends on where you live.

I think one contribution to the perceived unkindness was the change that not growing up and working, living and dying in the same area caused.
There was no longer a family network neighbourhood and it took longer to build up neighbourhood links with strangers.
Think of the comments on GN over time, commenting on how friendly or unfriendly they’d found places they moved to or visited and the rather unkind comments that what attitude you meet might be due to you yourself.

I think you pick up kindness from your parents. My Mum alway knitted a little something if a neighbour had a new baby, I do the same. I took a tiny bonnet round to a near neighbour who was from Czech Republic. I heard she had a baby girl. She cried and hugged me.

Mum used to knit socks for elderly widowers and I have done that too. She always made extra scones, mince pies or sausage rolls and if anybody called in they got some.

She used to say her parents always helped people in their community in whatever way they could bearing in mind they had 8 kids of their own.

I like to think my own offspring do the same for others.