Do you think the kindness has gone out of people?

Sara1954. being kind makes you feel good. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here.

JaneJudge

I was just trying to think of what being king as a general motto meant like people being kind to like poor people
Rich house poor house thing
The workhouses were supposed to be kind weren’t they

Thanks Jane. I haven’t thought of kindness like that. To me kindness is putting oneself in another’s shoes, and acting towards them as you would like to be treated or helped.

Of course this is the ideal, and some people are difficult to interact with, but we all have different life stories which may account for how we behave.

I wasn’t brought up by kind parents, not just towards me, but in general. My mother would never have lifted a finger to help anyone, actually I think she always enjoyed people’s misfortunes.
But as a child/teen I was treated to kindness from lots of people, teachers, other women on the estate, friends parents, and I thought it was wonderful that people were so selfless.
I think I married my husband because he is a kind man, not just to his family, but in general, to anyone who needs it
But I have to say, I spend a lot of time on the phone, and for every cheerful friendly person, grateful for the help you’ve giving them, there is a rude, unpleasant person. They use bad language, they’re offensive, they can be vaguely threatening, and this is a fairly recent thing, and if they are rude in the phone, their emails take it to a whole new level.
But, I still think that most people are kind, and being kind makes you feel good.

There are plenty of examples of intolerant unkind behavior but in general the vast majority are tolerant and kind and helpful.
Social media is used far too often to damage someone it’s cruel and often anonymous, which is spread far wider than the usual gossip did in the past.

Personally I don’t use any social media, I learned a long time ago that you can’t please everyone, others have different opinions and I can’t change the world

Most people I know are kind and most of the strangers I have come across are,too. I think they are actually kinder than when I was younger,less critical and more open minded. Perhaps I am lucky, maybe it is the particular area where I live, who knows ?

I don't think people have changed really, but social media seems to bring out the worst in some people. Kindness seems to be seen as a weakness.

I would rather that courtesy returned. So we treated each other respectfully, politely and with consideration. I hope/wish it were taught in schools, in hospitals and in places involving the public. We could then all learn from each other.
Kindness I think is more a personal trait. Not easily learned.
I think what has disappeared is consideration for others. There are probably the same number of actually "kind" people there have always been.

Yes there are political strategies that are built on kindness. When 'be kind' is used in this way, it generally means be quiet and do as you are told.

Graceless

I was really shocked at the responses to the thread on allowing a neighbour to use shower.

Really. Why is that. Nowadays many people aren't neighbours in the true sense of the word. They are transient people, many living next door to tenants who do not necessarily fit in with whom you would let into to your home.
Personally, I would boil a kettle and have a good wash rather than knock on my neighbours door, even the ones I've known for 20 years. Why would you.

I am not sure why the king has got involved, it was all supposed to be kind

I was just trying to think of what being king as a general motto meant like people being kind to like poor people
Rich house poor house thing
The workhouses were supposed to be kind weren’t they

Jane ?

Patronising stuff?

Is there a political ideal of kindness Galaxy? How can that work?

I like 'be kind'on an individual basis, I hate it as a general political ideal, lots of terrible things happen under the cloak of 'kindness'.

Primrose53

I think you pick up kindness from your parents. My Mum alway knitted a little something if a neighbour had a new baby, I do the same. I took a tiny bonnet round to a near neighbour who was from Czech Republic. I heard she had a baby girl. She cried and hugged me.

Mum used to knit socks for elderly widowers and I have done that too. She always made extra scones, mince pies or sausage rolls and if anybody called in they got some.

She used to say her parents always helped people in their community in whatever way they could bearing in mind they had 8 kids of their own.

I like to think my own offspring do the same for others.

I think that’s just lovely Primrose. I think smaller communities where people know each other, as a few years ago, appeared kinder and more supportive. So many of us don’t know those who live around us.

However I think you sow what you reap and if you are kind to people they are likely to react positively. Not always I do realise, but some people are hurt or angry, for various reasons and find it difficult to react positively with others.

FriedGreenTomatoes2

👋 Dickens ‘how you doing?’ (Says she kindly)! 😁

Yes, quite a lot of woke people reminding people to be kind aren’t very kind and don’t understand the implications of their rhetoric in some instances. Was it ever this? Who knows

Depends on the circumstances. The wokey ‘Be Kind’ exhortation is often a smokescreen used to shut down debate when certain posters don’t like viewpoints that don’t align with their own.

Let’s not forget people who think kindness is a weakness too

I think that out in the wider world there are a lot of unkind things happening.
In our personal lives there is lots of kindness about. Unfortunately kind things are generally not as newsworthy.

👋 Dickens ‘how you doing?’ (Says she kindly)! 😁

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Social media has spawned keyboard warriors. Anonymity emboldens people but I think in real life (most) people are kind. Maybe it depends on where you live.

I tend to agree...

I think you pick up kindness from your parents. My Mum alway knitted a little something if a neighbour had a new baby, I do the same. I took a tiny bonnet round to a near neighbour who was from Czech Republic. I heard she had a baby girl. She cried and hugged me.

Mum used to knit socks for elderly widowers and I have done that too. She always made extra scones, mince pies or sausage rolls and if anybody called in they got some.

She used to say her parents always helped people in their community in whatever way they could bearing in mind they had 8 kids of their own.

I like to think my own offspring do the same for others.

I think one contribution to the perceived unkindness was the change that not growing up and working, living and dying in the same area caused.
There was no longer a family network neighbourhood and it took longer to build up neighbourhood links with strangers.
Think of the comments on GN over time, commenting on how friendly or unfriendly they’d found places they moved to or visited and the rather unkind comments that what attitude you meet might be due to you yourself.