Finding a home help

I would think about the things you really need help with and write them down for her. Write down things that you would like doing but are not as important and also things she need not do.

You could discuss this over a coffee.

My Mum never had a cleaner until she was about 90 but she was very lucky as she was great. She hoovered, dusted, did ironing as necessary and cleaned the bathroom. Sometimes collected prescriptions, just over the road. Mum clung on to the things she was still able to do and when the bed needed cleansheeting, they did it together.

"I would think about the things you really need help with and write them down for her. Write down things that you would like doing but are not as important and also things she need not do."

Thank you. I did that. It was ignored - particularly the things I asked not to be done. I did feel taken over and found it quite stressful to be honest. I think I just need the right person and someone who's happy to use my choice of cleaning stuff.

My lovely cleaning lady does her own thing !
I go out and leave her to it
If I have ironing she does it without being asked
If I have stripped the bed she asks if I want it made up
If I want the windows cleaned she does them but misses something else , I’m happy with that

Ask around your neighbourhood. It’s always good to go by recommendation.
I’ve always had a cleaning lady (because I’m lazy). One was with me for about 20 years. She was a young widow. And then she met someone who swept her off her feet. She deserved to be happy.
I’ve had one or two since, but they have never matched up to her. It’s a husband and wife now. I usually leave a note/list of what I want them to pay special attention to ie kitchen doors, bath. But one thing they do every time is, strip and change the
beds, sheets, pillowcases, duvet etc.
I usually go out for a couple of hours while they are in the house.
Good luck - I hope you find someone suitable .

Are you on Facebook and do you have a local Facebook page?

Often people ask such questions on ours about recommendations for cleaners, gardeners, DIY people etc.

This might not work if you live in a large town or city but in a smaller neighbourhood where people generally know or know of each other, it can work well.

It sounds like it might be me that's the problem then. I'm finding it hard having someone in the house doing things when I've always had my own way of doing things. I'm at home a lot so found it hard having someone doing things upstairs without me being involved. I think if it was the right person, that wouldn't bother me. It's an old house with grungy nooks and crannies so I feel I want to explain how I normally deal with bits like that.

But the main this is I hate the smell of most cleaning sprays etc and they affect my breathing. I always used minimal cleaning materials. I don't expect it to be shiny - just done.

Not quite sure why I'm like this as we have a pet-sitter comes in when we're not here and I'm quite happy to leave her a key. Maybe it's just I'm wanting to do my own cleaning . When OH does things, he's happy for me to say use this cloth or do it like this or whatever - because he wouldn't know what was what otherwise. He does do all the hoovering.

Anyway I think I just need the right person who doesn't make me feel like a poltergeist hit the house.

I agree with others inasmuch as ask around for personal recommendations.

Otherwise, in your position i would consider going to a Cleaning Company/Agency. They are well used to adhoc requests. You will be able to state what you want (and what you don't) and be able to say you will supply your own cleaning products and materials due to allergies. With a company you are in a position of being able to increase/decrease frequency and if someone doesn't 'suit' or doesn't do what you have asked (within reason of course) you can give this feedback. Plus there is the reassurance of the individuals of being insured and DBS checked.

To start having someone in your home is daunting and I hope you find the right person to help, Good luck.

Thank you. Tried most of that! I spent over a year asking for recommendations and getting nowhere, apart from a recommendation for a small cleaning company but they were very black and white - two people to come in and clean everything or nothing. So I muddled on for a while. Then put an ad locally. But yes it's hard finding the right person. My Mother would have been the perfect person :-)

I have every sympathy for you .
I tried and tried to find a cleaner for my father without success and the house is near bus routes .
In the end , I did everything myself and he complained a great deal .
If you live a distance away from public transport and find a treasure - could you employ them for one day a week and get them to blitz the house having lunch midday and pay for a taxi ?
Or would it be an enormous expense ?

I find that people ,who provide cleaning services really pick and choose their employment these days .
Having written that I recall the succession of cleaners , that he had 30 plus years ago !

It sounds like it might be me that's the problem then. I'm finding it hard having someone in the house doing things when I've always had my own way of doing things.

I know just how you feel.

One cleaner came to see us for a chat but I felt that she was interviewing us rather than the other way round.
She was quite intimidating.

Does your pet sitter know anyone, by chance?
Or might they even be interested themselves?

If you have the NextDoor app, that always seems to be a mine of information for this kind of thing, including people saying "don't bother with this person accused they don't turn up!"

No idea where accused came from...

I think cleaners can chose who they work for these days as there is such a demand for them.

My daughter's friend runs a cleaning company and she has to turn people down sometimes.

Have you tried your drs. surgery for some kind of outreach help. If you and your oh can’t manage, this may become a social problem that they help sort out with you.

Has anyone had a bad experience with a cleaner? I would feel rather concerned about leaving valuable jewellery in a drawer in the bedroom.
What do others do about this?

No, the bad experience with my mum's purse being stolen was when the only people who had been in were social service approved carers.

Would have loved to help but far unfortunately.. Take your time and I believe a suitable person will Coe your way soon

You have to adjust your expectations. Cleaners are people too and may resent being told what to do and how to do it. Why not just make sure the basics are covered and let them get on with it? Clean kitchen, bathrooms, dust and hoover the rest. Special jobs can be requested as and when required. I've had some terrific cleaners over many years. Some have had idiosyncrasies or favourite tasks but all have been to my benefit. I stay in the flat while they are in so am in reach if they need to ask anything.

I do cleaning part time. I advertise on Facebook where most local solo cleaners advertise, so might be worth looking there.
I always pop round for a chat to discuss exactly what customer wants doing, how many hours, which days, cost etc

I provide my own products including hoover, mop etc but will happily use customers if they prefer.
I'm police checked and fully insured, maybe something you could ask about to give you peace of mind.

Maybe write a list of exactly what you want doing, while being realistic about what can be done in time your paying for.
Personally I don't mind customers being in the house while I'm cleaning but I do like to be left alone to get on.

I had one lady who sat in the doorway of each room I cleaned in her wheelchair, then checked how often I changed water in mop bucket.
Unfortunately I didn't return

As mentioned lots of people are looking for cleaners.
You can ask for references and as I say write down exactly what you want doing.

Hope you find someone.

Thank you all. And it's interesting hearing it from both sides. I think I was quite clear up front that I wanted general help "at a relaxed pace". I couldn't cope with just letting someone start on doing a whole room. Because the other thing is, I'm trying to keep a bit of independence and do the odd little bit myself, that I can do - eg dust the photo frames. So yes it's finding the right person who understands it's to help me, as well as the odd bit of cleaning. I do understand they like to be left alone to get on with it, but before that can happen, there needs to be a conversation/explanation about various aspects of the house - it's old and has grungy bits and I don't want people using chemical cleaners on very old wood!

I've had one bad experience and one let down so far. So it needs to be someone who understands what I'm asking for. I did ask for "help in the home" rather than a cleaner. It's important I provide the cleaning materials as I'm very sensitive to a lot of chemicals. But I can see some cleaners might feel that makes the job harder. Although I've said I wasn't expecting perfection.

What got stressful was someone being bossy and insisting using their own cleaning products. And I didn't want the confrontation.

OH tends to do the hoovering - he's just not good at seeing dirt!

Anyway there is a lady coming next week, who I've already met. She hasn't been a cleaner before but just a home help - so she might be better. But she's a bit expensive. I don't mind paying a bit more if it's the right person.

And yes I did think to ask for references . It's nerve wracking having a stranger in the house and I think you both need to be prepared to get to know each other a bit. To me the person you're paying needs to be prepared to do what you ask and not be a know it all. I'm polite, I'm not patronising, but I do need to explain which bits are sensitive areas and someone respect me and the house. My Mother had a wonderful lady after a succession of ones she couldn't cope with. And they got a routine. Eg change the beds, put the bedlinen in the washing machine and drier and just do one bit that needed doing that week.

I think cleaners have expectations as well when you say "bathroom". Our bathroom isn't tiled - it's a pig to clean! So I'd rather they just do the sanitary ware and leave the rest for OH to sort out under my instruction!

Allira

^It sounds like it might be me that's the problem then. I'm finding it hard having someone in the house doing things when I've always had my own way of doing things.^

I know just how you feel.

Thank you