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More to do before you leave

(52 Posts)
Macadia Sun 01-Dec-24 04:55:29

I lost a friend, who, before she died, said that she was not going to die because she had so much more to do. I really believed her but then she died. I am wondering from others here if you also feel you have more to do and if you were taken out tomorrow, what would you regret not doing before you died.

WelwynWitch3 Mon 09-Dec-24 22:54:20

Unfortunately my husband is a terrible hoarder, he sees a space and has to fill it, with anything, just in case it may be useful. It may sound awful but I hope he goes first just so that I can clear everything out to make it easier for our children after we have gone.

LaCrepescule Sun 08-Dec-24 17:13:26

Thank you so much NotSpaghetti. Yes, will definitely do it in the new year!

Gingster Sun 08-Dec-24 08:52:46

I would like to go on another World Cruise. The last one was 9 years ago, but Dh isn’t interested . Other than that I am happy with my local activities and family and friends. I’m always interested if something new comes along , but I think my life is full enough without being over committed.
We have our holiday home and enjoy the change of scenery and life there.
All in all I’m content.

NotSpaghetti Sun 08-Dec-24 08:43:26

LaCrepescule - maybe you can start on that great will writing challenge over this next year?
Have you been putting it off?

Congratulations on the ongoing recovery! flowers

LaCrepescule Sun 08-Dec-24 08:35:00

I wouldn’t regret anything. I’m a recovering alcoholic who has sorted out the wreckage of my past through practising the 12 Steps of AA, including making amends to all the people I’ve harmed.
I don’t have resentments now either and fill my days with being useful or simply practising gratitude for what I have.
Without this I would have most probably died an alcoholic and regretted so much, most importantly damaging the relationship with my daughter which is now wonderful.
I do need to write a will though and make sure that things are as straightforward as possible for my family when I die. I make sure I let all the people who are important to me know how much I love and appreciate them. I would regret it immensely if I left this world behind without knowing that I did my best to foster good relationships.

Iam64 Sun 08-Dec-24 08:26:08

Clearing my parents home after mum died took months as we three sisters agreed to work on it together. It encouraged me to begin recycling and bring less into the house. My began ‘putting my affairs in order’ straight after an unexpected, devastating diagnosis. He had a huge collection of academic books, most went to universities or close friends. He brought boxes of photographs and family memorabilia down from the attic.
He died rather suddenly six months after diagnosis. I’ve slowly been tidying the books/art work etc he left. I’ve started sorting photographs but it’s such an emotionally laden task I ve taken a break

I’ve put my affairs in order -will, power of attorney, all household bills/bank/land registry etc neatly labelled and filed in case a plane im in falls out the sky. The will includes who takes my dogs ….

One thing I’ve learned is to expect the unexpected and roll with the waves

M0nica Sun 08-Dec-24 08:10:33

Life rolls on. My past is littered with projects I couldn't complete, subjects I moved on from before I had fully plumbed them. What isn't done when I die. isn't done. I will not be around to regret it.

I do however say that I want to die part way through a major project. The best way to ensure you have as long a life as feasible is to be engaged with the world. My father lived until 92 fully engaged with the world. When he went down with his last illness, he was treasurer for one local organisation, outings organiser for a second and the Major-Domo at his local church. All the undertakers knew him because he had been their contact for all funerals at the church for about 20 years.

Witzend Sun 08-Dec-24 07:47:47

downtoearth

I have a huge pile of unread books I keep adding to, I would be very very annoyed to toddle ofc before I have got through them.
I have told the family to put them in my coffin with me.

My dh has piles of to-be-read books (our bookcases are full, some shelves double-stacked) but keeps buying more! They’re virtually all pretty heavy NF. And he’s a very slow reader. I told him the other day that even if he lives to 105, he’ll never get through them all.

Primrose53 Thu 05-Dec-24 21:42:06

I am another who would be sad to not finish reading all my books. I have stacks of yarn which should really be used up but I am not so bothered about that now.

watermeadow Thu 05-Dec-24 19:45:59

What you achieved or left undone is governed by outside forces. I’ve spent much of my life waiting for things to change or for things I can’t have. I’ve always been restricted by being hard-up, having a large family, being shy and afraid.
I can’t go anywhere because I have pets but I couldn’t live without them.
Like most people, I accept what I can’t change and make the most of a very ordinary life.

Macadia Tue 03-Dec-24 18:42:10

My friend went in for surgery which was had a low chance of survival. Later she told me that before surgery she had written cards to each person she loved and told instructed her husband that if she died in surgery to post them all.

Luckily they didn't need to be sent this time.

Rosiebee Tue 03-Dec-24 08:30:58

So many books to read, quilts to make, yarn to use up and cross stitch projects to finish. And that's before I've finished the decluttering. But ultimately they're not so important. When I left my first husband, I thought that I'd give myself a year to get myself back together and then get two cats and that would be my life. Unexpectedly I got together with my DH - who's allergic to cats anyway and he has given me 33 years of joy together, plus a wonderful stepson and now DGC. We've had really scary health moments but we just need to keep on living our best life and all the other stuff that I "need to do" will get done it not.

downtoearth Tue 03-Dec-24 07:25:32

Bodachgrin

Bodach Mon 02-Dec-24 23:27:32

downtoearth

I have a huge pile of unread books I keep adding to, I would be very very annoyed to toddle ofc before I have got through them.
I have told the family to put them in my coffin with me.

Spare a thought for the unfortunate pallbearers...

SparklyGrandma Mon 02-Dec-24 23:24:10

Having had a tumultuous beginning (parents) but loving grandparents, then have worked hard, brought up darling DS, my main aim has been working to help others. Illness has set me back this last 12 years.
I have visited many beautiful and interesting places but would like to do some more “useful” things plus create 2+ designs for my tiny garden.
See my adult GC set up. Visit some more U.K. places as I avoided them when travelling afar.
Sort out my possessions. Leave at peace with **d and my friends and relies.

Juicylucy Mon 02-Dec-24 23:03:33

I have a bucket list that consists of small and large adventures. I manage 2/3 a year then I find more things I want to do and add them so it never gets smaller. I’ve just added the sleeper train that does the borders of the highlands in Scotland. I’m 68 so I probably need a good 15 years more to get through them all.

Woollywoman Mon 02-Dec-24 21:07:44

Tictacnana, that’s so romantic… wishing you many more years together.

Madmeg Mon 02-Dec-24 20:57:38

I have spent this year fighting cancer and am now clear. I told the oncologist that I had a lot of living still to do. I have two beautiful GCs (young teens) and want to see them become adults. My younger DD is having IVF and I want to get to know her DS or DD. I want to travel more as I never did any at all until 6 years ago - have just booked a World Cruise for 2026 and a short one to the Med and Greek Islands next Spring.

I want (need?) to clear my too-large house of 40 years of junk but fear that DH will want to keep it all. In fact, I'd rather want to persuade him to downsize while we are still (almost) able so we don't have to keep paying people to clean, garden, repair things for us.

I want to "finish" my Family Tree and get it in presentable order for those who might be interested.

I'd like to see a country (indeed a world) without war or dire poverty, and where each individual is valued and encouraged to lead the best life they can with proper help and support. I believe that every human being has potential to be of benefit rather than seen as a burden, or worse feeling themselves to be unwanted. Having spent my working years as a Uni lecturer I learnt that every student, whether a top-performer or not, could offer something unique.

I'd also like to see us re-join the EU. Mind you, there are lots of other improvements I'd like to see to all manner of political things in the UK!!!

Crikey, I sound like a politician! Except I am not a liar.

I'm not ready to go yet!

theworriedwell Mon 02-Dec-24 20:38:54

I want to see my grandchildren as adults so I need to get to 89 minimum.

tictacnana Mon 02-Dec-24 20:23:25

I would deeply regret not spending more time with my partner. We were pals at uni 50 odd years ago and met up again many years later. He is my best friend, nothing has changed and what could have been a lonely old age for both of us has turned into a love story. I’d just like more time.

4allweknow Mon 02-Dec-24 18:21:45

I'd regret not clearing out all the stuff that never gets used, all the clothes kept to be worn "sometime" yet I know never will. Having had to deal with DHs hobbies, clear out a workshop and of course his personal items I do not wish my DSs to have to deal with my lot.

Furret Mon 02-Dec-24 16:17:21

Diggingdoris

I have a bucket list of places in UK I would like to visit but with a poorly husband who cannot be left alone, I've no idea if I'll get to see them. I also have 200+books on my shelf that I'd like to read, so I'm working on those in all the spare time I get.

Hang on in there.

Diggingdoris Mon 02-Dec-24 16:12:30

I have a bucket list of places in UK I would like to visit but with a poorly husband who cannot be left alone, I've no idea if I'll get to see them. I also have 200+books on my shelf that I'd like to read, so I'm working on those in all the spare time I get.

MaggsMcG Mon 02-Dec-24 16:04:31

I'd like to see one or more great grandchildren like my Mum did. I think I will, but then I thought I would have had a few more years to enjoy retirement with my DH. Covid put paid to that. I am making the most of my health and travelling whilst I can. He would never have wanted to fo that. I font think there's anything I feel I need to do, my finances are fairly sorted. I have a POA and a will and a funeral plan in place. On a lighter note I also have loads of books on my bookshelf I want to read.

rocketship Mon 02-Dec-24 15:42:56

Oreo

There’s always another cheese and pickle sarnie to be had😜

I love the way your mind works!! Yippy~~~ LOLOLOL