Does anybody have literally nobody?

stayanotherday - you are too young to feel this way. It’s been tough for you, but please, believe me, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Be strong.

A gentleman (whose wife had died)from our chapel didn't have any relatives at all. He and his wife were only children and they didn't have any children. He always came to our home for Christmas, we loved having him and he loved being with us. I was told by others that it was the highlight of the year, and he looked forward so much. What is one extra plate on the table?

Try joining a dating agency. They can be great and could produce good friends for you.
Your message is good, clear and informative. You need to write this about yourself, but keep it positive too. I am sure you will find others in no time - it can be very interesting and isn't necessarily about marriage/partnership but can be about just increasing your friends, male or female.
You can find details of these on line - The Times and The Daily Telegraph both run them.

I’m on my own in West Midlands. No.1 son lives other side of London with wife and teenage children. He has a busy life working long hours and loads of hobbies takes up his time so maybe see him 3 or 4 times a year. I like to think he would travel up if I was taken into hospital. No. 2 son lives in Switzerland so see him once a year for a weekend visit, not just to see me but also he goes out with his mates. Sister and brother live quite some distance away too. The last of my close friends died last year. So other than my elderly neighbours I don’t see anyone. My brother phoned this week full of the joys of Spring and told me how him and his wife were going here, there and everywhere this Christmas. He said you don’t sound very happy for us so I pointed out he was telling someone who won’t see a soul or go out anywhere how they are enjoying all the Christmas activities and eating out on Christmas Day. He did shut up after that. I’m used to the loneliness now, I shall get some special bits of food for Christmas Day, do a brand new jigsaw and watch the tele.

* Decided now early fifties to shut down even though it's very hard and not fun, sometimes frightening.*
You’re still very young, *stayanotherday’. Would you ever consider fostering?

I have no one - no family & few friends. It's a lonely world especially when those with families & friends can never really understand what it's like, but I have my cat, an occasional chat with a neighbour, I love gardening & painting & try to keep the brain engaged to ward off scary thoughts about the future.

What's wrong with 'the Government coffers' - that is what pays for the NHS, Social Services, Education, and so much more.

TheWeirdoAgain59

I'm 59, never married/no partner/no kids by choice and have only ever lived alone and with pets, which I don't have at the moment. Working f/t. I can't stand most men, with exception to Gary Busey and Erik Estrada!

I have absolutely no family of any sort by blood or law, nobody I would classify as friends, more acquaintances.

Once I'm dead I won't care what anyone does with my belongings but I've never made a will and never would, I don't see the point with my circumstances but I'm very happy on my own, I can do what I like when I like without a partner getting in my way!

Make a will leaving your ‘estate’ to a charity you like? If not it will go into government coffers.
If you’re renting a house and have little savings then of course it wouldn’t be worth doing.
You can make a will cheaply by doing it yourself, no solicitor.

There are quite a few older residents in the care home where I work who have nobody at all. It’s very sad.

stayanotherday, early fifties is too young to be giving up on life. You call yourself an idiot and a joke, which sounds as if you have confidence issues. In that case why not try another therapist, someone who really connects with you?

I love joining groups and even if not warmly welcomed, I persevere, knowing that it’s healthy for me to be with other people on a regular basis rather than alone at home all of the time.
I’m also a firm believer in having a passion for something in life, in my case, art and music. Is there something you enjoy doing when everything else ceases to exist? With a passion like that, it brings a contentment and other things in life fall into place.

Even if not religious, a church which suits you could provide companionship. I have a couple of friends who I know are not really religious, but their lives are full through their churchgoing.
I wish you all the best💐

Seems a shame to “shut down” as you are so young. As you say, Llanelli is very run down, but the coast further along is lovely. We stayed in Burry Port a few years ago and loved the coastal walks. Are you in a position to be able to move? To Cardiff or Swansea, say, where there’s more going on? Do you have a pet? Dog walking is very social…..

TheWeirdoAgain59

Glad you’re happy with your situation.
But that’s the thing isn’t it, some people are quite happy on their own, and in your circumstances ( no children / in laws/ extended family ) you’ve obviously got used to it.
I think it’s sad when someone isn’t happy ( like the op ) and especially when lonely people have family who don’t bother with them for whatever reason.

Jeanathome

Thank You for sharing your story stayanotherday. I feel we are not designed for solitude.

I could bombard you with information about things to join and so on but I wonder if the therapy route might be worth another look. What were you hoping to gain from therapy? It's damn hard work and not for everybody but it can lead to better things.

Personally, it's been a more or less constant push back against depression and an effort to get out there. It's like driving I find, a skill which some of us have to learn.

I would agree with * Jeanathome* and give the therapy another try, but maybe approach it differently. The therapist isn’t there to tell you what to do, but to help you ‘talk out’ your situation, and arrive at a solution that suits you.
I have heard many people say, ‘ My therapist told me I need to….’, and this too can make them give up, rather than find a better therapist.

I felt, and still do in some respects, exactly the same.
It is only since I've been not well that it has hit home what "alone" really means.

I'm 59, never married/no partner/no kids by choice and have only ever lived alone and with pets, which I don't have at the moment. Working f/t. I can't stand most men, with exception to Gary Busey and Erik Estrada!

I have absolutely no family of any sort by blood or law, nobody I would classify as friends, more acquaintances.

Once I'm dead I won't care what anyone does with my belongings but I've never made a will and never would, I don't see the point with my circumstances but I'm very happy on my own, I can do what I like when I like without a partner getting in my way!

I could rely on some people I've met on gransnet to help me out, and I know they would.
Of course, though, as it should be, they have their own lives, families.
I do appreciate those people, though.

I have cousins in Ireland, which is not a lot of help. I have made really good friends on GN, and they are getting me through this bout of Covid and urinary problems.

Nobody here would bother if my bin was not put out on the correct day. The fool who is renting next door wondered where I worked, knowing I am 81! Unfortunately, 50% of the houses are rented. I am the longest-staying person owning my own house.

Thank You for sharing your story stayanotherday. I feel we are not designed for solitude.

I could bombard you with information about things to join and so on but I wonder if the therapy route might be worth another look. What were you hoping to gain from therapy? It's damn hard work and not for everybody but it can lead to better things.

Personally, it's been a more or less constant push back against depression and an effort to get out there. It's like driving I find, a skill which some of us have to learn.

I do value grandsnet it’s got me through some lonely or concerning times

You all have us all here at least.

We can “listen” and try and help.

Please take care

stayanotherday my sister retired to Llanelli with her husband.He's since passed away.As they did everything together she was left quite lost with no friends.Three years on she's made a small group of friends to meet up with and even go on coach holidays with.
She's not one for clubs etc but she goes to a cafe regularly or on the bus to the out of town shopping centre.She'll make conversation with people and has made friends during these outings.There's a lot of lonely people who appreciate a chat.
Llanelli is very run down now but I love the coastal path walk.Wishing you all the best.

Hello stayanotherday I m not in your position but wanted to say hello and send a 🤗
I do live alone and that can have its blessings and downside too but I’m lucky in as much as I have children and grandchildren, all fairly well scattered but can be on the end of a telephone one nearby who helps me a lot and I can get a lot of support if needed
I have a voluntary job that keeps me going I have fun, i work very hard and it makes me feel useful and needed and I have some close friends who would help if needed and yes I use the internet and have made a couple of lifelong friends on GN

Where you live sounds very inhospitable any chance of a move ? I don’t really know any of my immediate neighbours although I m pretty sure if I was in trouble they would help

The problem I find is the longer you live alone the less you can ever live with someone but you are still so young and have loads of time to change your situation although you’ve tried and tried please don’t give up, try again this time might be better, don’t lose hope, that’s sometimes all we have ..hope

@MissAdventure Thanks and so can you Yes it is and a very important meaning. Yours is a very positive and interesting username!

@MayBee70 Yes the internet is a real treasure trove and great for those on their own. There's loads of interesting stuff and glad you've found likeminded people. I like Brutalist architecture. Some real rabbit holes and it's a valid point.

Well, you can always nip on here for a chat, stayanotherday, if you're feeling particularly alone anytime.

I'm interested in your username; it's an East17 song.