Christmas

You need to start a new thread, Parky, just because people who can help and advise (and there is always good support on here) probably won’t see your post hidden away on this one.

If you click on Menu above and choose a forum from the list - Health might be most appropriate? - you’ll then see the option to Add Discussion.

I’ve no experience so no advice to offer, I’m afraid, but all best wishes to you.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't get excited about Christmas. I find it very stressful - and expensive but I try to give a gift to my grandchildren and their parents. Fortunately this year I don't have to cook the Christmas lunch. Last year was a bit of a disaster - but we survived it

MissInterpreted

I'm afraid I'm the opposite. I hate xmas and always have, even as a child.

Is there a particular reason MissInterpreted, or is it just a general dislike? Sorry, I don't want to draw out painful memories.

flappergirl

MissInterpreted

I'm afraid I'm the opposite. I hate xmas and always have, even as a child.

Is there a particular reason MissInterpreted, or is it just a general dislike? Sorry, I don't want to draw out painful memories.

No, it's just a general dislike. Even from a fairly young age, it always just seemed like a big build-up to what inevitably turned out to be a major anti-climax. I don't mean that to sound as if I was ungrateful or anything like that, but as an only child with older parents, there was never much of a fuss over xmas. I certainly don't remember it being 'magical' in any way.

No.
I Hate (yes, with the capital H).

I’m afraid Christmas has lost its magic for me, now that I’m a widow. My husband used to love everything about it, and we had many family traditions. Now my children have their own homes and their own traditions. I still enjoy all the lights and I do put up a tree. I just can’t stand all the marketing and the long build up all through November and December! It’s just one meal!

Do not celebrate Christmas now except for when I am with my young GC! Find I cannot manage decorations & having moved recently to a small 1 bedroom bungalow do not have the room. Like to see everyone enjoying it for the right reasons though! Not Christian but can see the happiness it brings to those who do have faith so for that Christmas is there to enjoy!

Still love Christmas, still do the whole works including cooking everything from scratch, still expect at least nine guests on Christmas Day. Might pass on the baton in a few years, but otherwise I'll keep on going.

Romola

I too used to love Christmas, but without my late DH, all the memories are tinged with sadness. I try to be upbeat but the tears are always near the surface.
It is lovely to be with family, but there are no children now. The GSs are grown up, and somehow the magic of Christmas has gone with their childhood.

Same here Romola. Absolutely dread Christmas since losing my DH over 2 yrs ago. Just want to curl up in bed until it's over and done with. I try to put on a brave face and I do go to family on the day but worry I might put a dampener on the proceedings however hard I try. Doesn't help that it's our wedding anniversary a week before.
Take care, I'm sure there are many of us feeling the same way.

Oh Romola - I so understand. I feel exactly the same.

I'm so sorry for those who have lost lived ones and find it hard to find any joy in Christmas.
We too don't have little ones anymore at Christmas but enjoy the things we couldn't really do when they were small. Midnight service. Carols by candlelight. Candle lit evening meals. Films that do not involve McAuley Culkin!!

Maggiemaybe

You need to start a new thread, Parky, just because people who can help and advise (and there is always good support on here) probably won’t see your post hidden away on this one.

If you click on Menu above and choose a forum from the list - Health might be most appropriate? - you’ll then see the option to Add Discussion.

I’ve no experience so no advice to offer, I’m afraid, but all best wishes to you.

That was kind and very helpful Maggiemaybe. Wishing you the very best Parky.

We love Christmas! I "did" Christmas for forty-four years and the first one on our own felt a bit strange but we are used to it now. Christmas Eve and the Day will have a lot of church services and we'll make ourselves a nice dinner with some of the trimmings. Two Christmas puddings already made, also mince pies and rum butter. Big family get-togethers on 28th and 29th, for which I have to make one vegan/vegetarian dish, which I don't mind as I'm a veggie myself. And take one of the puddings to the occasion on 30th. Book club dinner this week for which I am making another dish. But all this is nothing compared to past years of three days' worth of meals for up to a dozen people. We enjoy carols, cards, putting up the tree and decorations (did that yesterday), wrapping presents and good Christmas TV. Though I'll be watching the Call the Midwife and Gavin and Stacey specials on my own a bit later. Of course if I were truly on my own it would be different. Hope it will be the two of us for a few years yet.

I used to love Christmas - everyone had a small stocking at the end of the bed (just fruit and sweets) and we all got on the patents'bed, including Grandma who lived with us). Coming down to the magic of the tree, with the presents underneath, and decorations wbich had magically appeared after the young ones had gone to bed on Christmas Eve.
My husband loved Christmas and thinking of ways to keep it magical each year. Since losing him I don't feel like celebrating. Do have Christmas dinner with my very small family of daughter and granddaughter, then back home with my lovely dog for company. I could stay with the family longer, but they keep the T.V.on very loud, even when no-one is watching or listening!!

Too much build up these days and over commercialised. It has lost the true meaning.

I used to love Christmas as a young child, we celebrated with my maternal gran, aunts and cousins, but following my father’s death when I was 6 and a half, it never felt the same. We followed the same family traditions, but without him, it seemed less of a celebration. I began to enjoy it many years later following the birth of my eldest son and now with my two GDs it seems a happier time. My poor DM never quite got over my dads death.

It's easily one of my favorite seasons of the year! I love everything from decorations to cheesy smartshow 3d videos to gift giving.

I have always loved Christmas and still do, although having very little family left to actually be with at Christmas is hard.

Last year, I did very little as DH died in November. This year I have young friends coming to stay, and am waiting to hear from the Red Cross if they have one or two lonely people who would like to join us for Christmas dinner.

This week, and last, I am volunteering at the local museum, where we invite local kindergardens to bring a group of children each week-day to make Christmas decorations, sing carols and receive a visit from Santa Claus. It is refreshing and heartening to see three and four year olds' gleeful anticipation of Christmas.

As a grown-up, I do agree that the shift from observing Advent and celebrating Christmas at Christmas to decorations going up and office parties starting in the last weekend of November is annoying, but the little ones are fortunately still untouched by this adult nonsense.

Yesterday, Mass ended with a (delayed) visit from St. Nicolas and the little ones in the congregation were in no doubt at all that it really was the saint who had coming bringing sweeties for all the good children (and suprise, suprise, there were not any naughty children in church!)

alisonsmith4

Oh Romola - I so understand. I feel exactly the same.

Me too! My late husband and I adored Christmas with the family. Now he has died, it’s just not the same, even though my family pull out all the stops and really try to give me a good Christmas. I put on a brave face and I think I get away with it but I am so glad to get to Boxing Day where I can be on my own and just think about past Christmasses (not in a morbid way, a thankful happy way) and how lucky we were to have so many Christmasses together with the family. We always refused any invitations for Boxing Day. It was ‘our’ day where we sat and enjoyed the day together watching rubbish TV and eating the second Christmas dinner that our daughter will have packed for us after the real one. That day was so precious to us and so full of love and gratitude for what we had.
The trouble is, the more you love something or someone, the more it hurts when it’s no longer there.
I hope everyone in my position manages to enjoy the day in as good a way as possible. After all, when all’s said and done, it’s just another day!

Charleygirl5 - I’m on my own too. First year since my husband died in 2010 that I won’t be seeing anyone. Eldest son lives in London and his wife wants to host her family from America, fair enough. Youngest son lives in Switzerland and now has a partner who has young children and he wants to experience a family Christmas instead of sitting with me. My brother and sister are going to their children. I do feel abandoned but will try to make the best of a bad job.

I used to love Christmas when I did everything - the presents, the cooking, the decorations, etc etc. I still love the season, but find that now at 78 with various ills, I have no energy to do much of that any longer. My eldest son and family live in Japan and I’m currently finalising gifts and wrapping to post their gifts out there. My youngest ( 43 )lives near London and always used to come to me over Christmas and we had a jolly time, but last year and this I have persuaded him to go to spend the 3 days he spent here, to go to his girlfriend for Christmas. I also run a small part time business from home and quite honestly I’m exhausted and depressed at the thought of all I still have to do pre Xmas! But at least I won’t have to tidy up, put up decs, and can slob it out alone over Christmas, watching nice Christmas films, etc, eating what I want when I want, etc. it’s gone in a flash anyway! I have been on my own for decades and am perfectly happy that way. Tho a cook and house cleaner would be nice! Santa …if you’re listening?

I love Christmas, always have. If people want to start in November that’s up to them, I don’t have to buy (literally) into that. Advent begins on the first Sunday (late Nov or early Dec) and we celebrate that. But I have noticed that the older I get the more emotional I get about Christmases past - had a weep over the tea towels my mother bought us that are only used at Christmas. We have no small children anymore but there’s still excitement. I know I’m way more fortunate than some as DH is still with me and we have family nearby. My heart goes out to those who have lost their dear ones.

PS: and a Gardener please !

Glad that so many are happy about Christmas. I’m with Missinterpreted and Harmonypuss. I do it for the GC but am ready for my AC to invite me to theirs instead. Not wanting to disappoint but haven’t the energy. I’ve hinted about me visiting them for a change but they want to come here. Maybe the ‘compulsory’ partaking will gradually evolve so it becomes more socially acceptable for people to do their own thing or ignore Christmas altogether if they so wish. Then it would be a bit easier for those who find Christmas a stressful time.

We've 4 separate Advent Christmas lunches for our daughters and their families -- one meal for all would be too many people (we've near 60 people including my brother and his small family).

Two Christmas-Advent meals over and two left to prepare.

All is proceeding nicely. Santa's grotto is gorgeous, for those GC and GGC who like to play out with their parents in our garden, shed and shop.

One mini holiday complete and one soon - we love winter Holidays.