Christmas

I'm so sorry for those who have lost lived ones and find it hard to find any joy in Christmas.
We too don't have little ones anymore at Christmas but enjoy the things we couldn't really do when they were small. Midnight service. Carols by candlelight. Candle lit evening meals. Films that do not involve McAuley Culkin!!

Oh Romola - I so understand. I feel exactly the same.

Romola

I too used to love Christmas, but without my late DH, all the memories are tinged with sadness. I try to be upbeat but the tears are always near the surface.
It is lovely to be with family, but there are no children now. The GSs are grown up, and somehow the magic of Christmas has gone with their childhood.

Same here Romola. Absolutely dread Christmas since losing my DH over 2 yrs ago. Just want to curl up in bed until it's over and done with. I try to put on a brave face and I do go to family on the day but worry I might put a dampener on the proceedings however hard I try. Doesn't help that it's our wedding anniversary a week before.
Take care, I'm sure there are many of us feeling the same way.

Still love Christmas, still do the whole works including cooking everything from scratch, still expect at least nine guests on Christmas Day. Might pass on the baton in a few years, but otherwise I'll keep on going.

Do not celebrate Christmas now except for when I am with my young GC! Find I cannot manage decorations & having moved recently to a small 1 bedroom bungalow do not have the room. Like to see everyone enjoying it for the right reasons though! Not Christian but can see the happiness it brings to those who do have faith so for that Christmas is there to enjoy!

I’m afraid Christmas has lost its magic for me, now that I’m a widow. My husband used to love everything about it, and we had many family traditions. Now my children have their own homes and their own traditions. I still enjoy all the lights and I do put up a tree. I just can’t stand all the marketing and the long build up all through November and December! It’s just one meal!

No.
I Hate (yes, with the capital H).

flappergirl

MissInterpreted

I'm afraid I'm the opposite. I hate xmas and always have, even as a child.

Is there a particular reason MissInterpreted, or is it just a general dislike? Sorry, I don't want to draw out painful memories.

No, it's just a general dislike. Even from a fairly young age, it always just seemed like a big build-up to what inevitably turned out to be a major anti-climax. I don't mean that to sound as if I was ungrateful or anything like that, but as an only child with older parents, there was never much of a fuss over xmas. I certainly don't remember it being 'magical' in any way.

MissInterpreted

I'm afraid I'm the opposite. I hate xmas and always have, even as a child.

Is there a particular reason MissInterpreted, or is it just a general dislike? Sorry, I don't want to draw out painful memories.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't get excited about Christmas. I find it very stressful - and expensive but I try to give a gift to my grandchildren and their parents. Fortunately this year I don't have to cook the Christmas lunch. Last year was a bit of a disaster - but we survived it

You need to start a new thread, Parky, just because people who can help and advise (and there is always good support on here) probably won’t see your post hidden away on this one.

If you click on Menu above and choose a forum from the list - Health might be most appropriate? - you’ll then see the option to Add Discussion.

I’ve no experience so no advice to offer, I’m afraid, but all best wishes to you.

Is there any point getting an early diagnosis for Denentia? We don't need any intervention at present

Yes, Tiley, I love Christmas, everything about it. It’s my favourite time of year. What a miserable few dark, cold weeks we would have without it. I’ve always enjoyed all the preparations too - today I’ll be getting down the decoration boxes to sort through and making the almond icing for the cakes. We went to two of the grandsons’ Christmas concerts last week, on Saturday I saw my lovely great niece performing in a seasonal murder mystery, and my DDIL and I made wreaths nearly as big as our front doors yesterday at a lovely workshop with warm mince crumble and mulled wine. I even enjoy writing the cards, with a Christmas film on the telly and another mulled wine. There may be a pattern emerging here.

I am very much on my own now, and Christmas is just another day for me. I do have a really good meal, starting Christmas Eve, opening a bottle of wine, and hoping there will be something reasonable to watch on TV.

A 10th December from years ago is forever etched on my brain, since that was when my mother phoned me in tears, to say the GP had just told her that my father was dying.
He died exactly a month later, 10th January.

That Christmas was very sad, but my father was always a very jolly, cheerful type, who’d certainly never have wanted to be the cause of sad Christmases, so after the first year, we made a real effort not to let it cloud the season.

Romola

I too used to love Christmas, but without my late DH, all the memories are tinged with sadness. I try to be upbeat but the tears are always near the surface.
It is lovely to be with family, but there are no children now. The GSs are grown up, and somehow the magic of Christmas has gone with their childhood.

When we grow up we begin to realise that this is what Christmas is about: how do we get through the dark winter days without our loved ones being here?

Someone I know recently broke up with a long term girlfriend. The first thing he did? Went out and bought the biggest Christmas tree he could find and decorated it with lights and tinsel.

Christmas, whether you are Christian or not, is simply an act of defiance against the pain and the loss we undergo in our lives.

So despite another close bereavement this year we shall celebrate just the same, as my loved one did after losing a little child.

I think this dark aspect to Christmas is often overlooked in the buying and gorging that goes on- but when you have been there you know that we have to celebrate the light returning.

The hope in the infant and yes, the sheer joy on a child's face, even if that joy was long ago. No one can take away those precious Christmas memories.

I wish you peace at least Romola, this Christmas.

Babs03

Greenfinch

I do so agree with you keepingquiet. In my opinion Christmas should not dominate the last two months of the year. This frenetic anticipation seems like wishing your life away.

I agree, and is just a money making racket, nothing to do with religion. Also all the family and friend bon homie on the telly makes it look as if nobody is homeless, bereaved, or completely alone at this time of year. Must be horrible for those who are just trying to keep their heads down until it is all over.

Yup.

Greenfinch

I do so agree with you keepingquiet. In my opinion Christmas should not dominate the last two months of the year. This frenetic anticipation seems like wishing your life away.

I agree, and is just a money making racket, nothing to do with religion. Also all the family and friend bon homie on the telly makes it look as if nobody is homeless, bereaved, or completely alone at this time of year. Must be horrible for those who are just trying to keep their heads down until it is all over.

I do so agree with you keepingquiet. In my opinion Christmas should not dominate the last two months of the year. This frenetic anticipation seems like wishing your life away.

I too used to love Christmas, but without my late DH, all the memories are tinged with sadness. I try to be upbeat but the tears are always near the surface.
It is lovely to be with family, but there are no children now. The GSs are grown up, and somehow the magic of Christmas has gone with their childhood.

I pretend to dislike it but I really don't. I just wish people wouldn't start it so early.

We are still in Advent and schools don't break up for another two weeks so it is this, 'Christmas starts in November and ends on Boxing Day' business that gets me!

Also people wrapping up all their presents before December- why?

You sure have a houseful Surfing Sal. Merry Christmas everyone

Have a great Christmas Tiley. 🥂

I've wondered for years why I always feel sad in the run up to
Christmas and I still don't have the answer. But I'm not alone in this, I suspect.
My childhood Christmases were not particularly happy, maybe that's why. And I find all the commercialism hard to understand.
But I hate being a party pooper, so I hope it is a happy time for everyone and that next year the world can find some peace.

I used to love Christmas but sadly I don't feel (so far) that I've "the heart" for it, this year. I can only think about the state of the world and so many who are needing help. Also charities are struggling; I can't help as many as I'd like. Perhaps I'll feel more "Christmassy" when we take the decorations from the loft and bring in the Christmas tree.