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Changing my name

(92 Posts)
Biscuitmuncher Thu 09-Jan-25 17:48:58

I'm not changing my name, other people, bless them are doing it for me. I'm early 60s and my name is Deborah. I've had this a few times in my life when people decide I'm a Debbie, I really don't like it, in fact it enrages me. I've joined a group where a woman called Elizabeth has started calling me this, would I be unreasonable to call her Lizzy or Betty?

Mirren Fri 10-Jan-25 16:02:20

My late Mum was Florence.
The only 2 people allowed to call her anything else were my Dad and my brother...and she only just tolerated them calling her Florrie .
I told this tale at her funeral .
A friend of many years told me that he'd once asked her if he'd known her long enough to call her Flo ?
He got a very sharp response to that suggestion!

V3ra Fri 10-Jan-25 16:02:48

paddyann54 that's so lovely 🥰

V3ra Fri 10-Jan-25 16:06:18

"Oh, my real name is Eliza, but I thought it sounded more racy to be called Lil, once I got interested in boys".

MissAdventure I bet Lil had some tales to tell 😂

MissAdventure Fri 10-Jan-25 16:07:49

She certainly did. wink

MaggsMcG Fri 10-Jan-25 16:44:57

I've given up now. I'm 72 my name is Margaret. I was never allowed or allowed others to call me Maggie even before Mrs Thatcher. My Mum didn't like it. When I got older I know a Maggie so everyone in that circle called me Margaret. Then when email & Social media came along I felt it was to long so I used Maggs instead. People still keep calling me Maggie I just ignore them or ask if they mean the other person.

Chicklette Fri 10-Jan-25 16:47:37

What I dislike more than anything is in work situations where service users misspell my name on emails. My name is part of my work email address, plus I sign off emails with my name. It’s a slightly unusual name, but I don’t think that excuses people constantly misspelling it. I make a point of spelling people’s names correctly. It’s not hard.

I also dislike my name being shortened. I put up with it as a child, but after my divorce from my first husband I decided I wanted to use my full name, so that’s how I introduce myself. And it’s really only my sister and brother and cousin who use the shortened version these days.

whywhywhy Fri 10-Jan-25 16:53:40

Tell them straight off that your name is not that and you don’t like it being abbreviated! It’s rude!

Granmarderby10 Fri 10-Jan-25 16:54:59

,..as long as they don’t call me late for breakfast” 😉

Boz Fri 10-Jan-25 17:07:57

I prefer my first name shortened - the long version is very dated.
I worked with a Michael who always resented being called Mick. This I can understand.
I can't bear z put on names; gaz, baz shaz.

Trisha99 Fri 10-Jan-25 17:13:13

I’m a Patricia, shortened to Pat.
I use Trisha because I like it, but what really really irritates are people who call me Pam, as if it doesn’t matter whether it’s Pat or Pam.
If it happens too often I (hopefully) gently say it’s Pat, short for Patricia, not Pamela.
Most recently I corrected the surgeon before a minor op. Not sure afterwards whether that was a bit foolish! 😊

Arto1s Fri 10-Jan-25 17:20:48

My son was Richard from the start. It was never abbreviated, and when we came to live in the States and he started school, he was asked if he used a nickname. No, I’m Richard, and he always has been.

icanhandthemback Fri 10-Jan-25 17:54:42

My name has 2 spellings although the way mine is spelled is strictly pronounced in a certain way. It used to really upset me when people pronounce it wrongly but I try to be quite relaxed about it. I do wonder though why people will ask me what my name is and then immediately pronounce it wrongly. Why bother to ask me if you're not going to listen!

Biscuitmuncher Fri 10-Jan-25 18:42:09

I always think with Debbie is that they shorten my name then added a bit, so it's no shorter than Deborah. My mum used to get the absolute rage if anyone called me Debbie

Babs03 Fri 10-Jan-25 18:46:58

'I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al.'

Sorry, just a bit of light relief, blame Paul Simon.

MissAdventure Fri 10-Jan-25 18:50:06

Yes, if someone has a short name, people often add bits on!

My daughter wanted her children to have one syllable names, so nobody could shorten them.

The older one has, but the younger one seemed destined to be called "that baby" forever more if nobody could decide on something.

So, he got two syllables, which is shortened to one. (Or added to, until its nothing like his name!)

MissAdventure Fri 10-Jan-25 18:52:16

Babs03

'I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al.'

Sorry, just a bit of light relief, blame Paul Simon.

smile
If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long-lost pal.
Lovely, silly song.

lixy Fri 10-Jan-25 19:00:38

My MiL called all five of her children by three syllable names and would not allow any shortening of them at all.

She died ten years ago but we still feel a bit ‘naughty’ when we use the now accepted shorter names.

If you want people to call you by your full name just remind them, everyone forgets names from time to time. And maybe carry a personalised water bottle to refer to!

Allira Fri 10-Jan-25 19:00:56

MissAdventure

Babs03

'I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al.'

Sorry, just a bit of light relief, blame Paul Simon.

smile
If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long-lost pal.
Lovely, silly song.

I am Al. 🖐

This is beginning to sound like the Spartacus film.

MissAdventure Fri 10-Jan-25 19:04:19

"I am Spartacus, but my friends call me Spart" doesn't have the same ring to it, really.

NannieDeb Fri 10-Jan-25 23:21:01

I was christened Deborah but always referred to as Debbie from a young age as my best friend was a Debbra, as I got a bit older it started to bother me particularly as I was older than her. I never liked Debbie and so when I hit 40 and started a new job I decided that I wanted to be called Debs (thought it sounded a bit more modern) and with the exception of my elderly mother (she was in her 40s when I was born) insisted that everyone comply. Occasionally people who don’t really know me do decide to address me as Debbie and whilst it grates , I try not to let it bother me too much. It does annoy me if it’s in response to an email where I have specifically stated my name as either Deborah or Debs though.

Greengage Fri 10-Jan-25 23:31:39

My first name has three syllables and I always introduce myself that way. However, most family members and close friends call me by two syllables, though very occasionally the odd person has called me by one syllable. I also have a couple of nicknames. One was from my school days and there is one person who still uses that. My other nickname came about because my first nephew couldn't say my name and it came out as something slightly different, and that branch of the family has called me by that name every since!
My eldest grandchild cheekily tried to call me something other than Grannie to see how I would react! But I said I didn't mind what they called so long as it wasn't rude. They now call me Grannie quite happily!

grumppa Fri 10-Jan-25 23:58:23

I much prefer, and always use except when my legal name is required, the widely used shortened version of my name. Just don't shorten it to Mick!

TanaMa Sat 11-Jan-25 09:10:25

I am lucky that I have a name that cannot be shortened, instead other bits get added!! My daughter and granddaughter also have very short names . When very small, I remember my daughter's equally small friend, couldn't say her name but invented her version, which lasted for most of her very young years! Knowing most of my friends hate shortened versions of their names, I never address anyone by other than their correct given name.

Baggs Sat 11-Jan-25 09:33:03

Does it depend a little on where one comes from? My brother-in-law called all his kids by affectionate nicknames that he'd given them. You'd have no idea what their actual names were if you didn't know already! 😂

Likewise my son-out-law, from the same area of the country, likes to give everyone a nickname. He even gave DD's oncologist a nickname - never used in public of course - but I think it helped them to see the oncologist as an empathetic person (which he was) who easily could have been a friend in other circumstances.

My first name is not easily shortenable but I have had several different pronunciations of it over the years. Never bothered me.

Babs03 Sat 11-Jan-25 09:40:01

Baggs

Does it depend a little on where one comes from? My brother-in-law called all his kids by affectionate nicknames that he'd given them. You'd have no idea what their actual names were if you didn't know already! 😂

Likewise my son-out-law, from the same area of the country, likes to give everyone a nickname. He even gave DD's oncologist a nickname - never used in public of course - but I think it helped them to see the oncologist as an empathetic person (which he was) who easily could have been a friend in other circumstances.

My first name is not easily shortenable but I have had several different pronunciations of it over the years. Never bothered me.

Yes we all have nicknames in our family that are nothing like our actual names and this has now extended to SILs and their families who have taken it kindly and actually now refer to each other like this.
We also give nicknames to people we regularly see but in this case wouldn’t dream of using them to the people in question.