Changing my name

Why are people so het up about having their names shortened? What’s the big deal? Why do us UK people have so many social barriers up? Live’s too short.

Do not reply when people address you by not-your-name.

For me it's been the opposite problem. I'm Liz to everyone. Even my dad called me Liz from the day and hour I turned eighteen. Before that, he called me by the name he and my mother gave me but he accepted it as my choice, as an adult. My mother always called me by my Sunday name!

However, for some unknown reason, my late husband always introduced me to new acquaintances as Elizabeth! It always sounded so formal and I had to add, "How do you do? Call me Liz!" I don't expect to be called Elizabeth and it takes a moment for me to realise they mean me!

I go by my christian name. When I was at school I had two friends, all of us with the same christian name as me. We either all answered When our name was said, or none of us. In the end we decided that we would be known by different names, the other two opting for shortened versions. I have always stuck with my full name and anyone who uses a shortened version is told, nicely, my name and I don't answer to anything else ever since being at school. They then get told the story and I also let them know I don't answer to anything else. I don't have any problems with people getting upset or offended.

Biscuitmuncher

I'm not changing my name, other people, bless them are doing it for me. I'm early 60s and my name is Deborah. I've had this a few times in my life when people decide I'm a Debbie, I really don't like it, in fact it enrages me. I've joined a group where a woman called Elizabeth has started calling me this, would I be unreasonable to call her Lizzy or Betty?

Just say to her "Elizabeth doesn't suit you so I'm going to call you Liz. Or Beth. Which do you prefer?"

Ask her to call you Deborah. If she doesn't comply, ignore her until she says Deborah.

Biscuitmuncher

Every time I see the heading of your thread I'm reminded of that song by Pulp

"Your name is Deborah, Deborah.
It never suited ya".

Perhaps other people think Deborah doesn't suit you !

You're not the Deborah are you? 😯

I have an unusual name. Most people get the pronunciation right when I tell them, but one acquaintance always pronounces it wrongly, no matter how many times I have corrected her.
So I have stopped correcting her and just ignore her when she uses it. She asked whether I had a hearing problem and I respond that I didn’t realise she was talking to me!
She still doesn’t get it right. Aaargh!

Tell the lady your name is Deborah and that's how you wish to be addressed. No need to address her as Lizzie out of spite.

I'm three people , going by the shortening of my name . I will answer to all of them but much prefer my full name .

I have a Polish name which is very similar to its English equivalent , but I prefer the Polish diminutive so I always use that. But I hate being called by the shortened form of that! And no one can spell it unless they're Welsh as it contains "si" pronounced "sh". But over the years I've got used to people mispronoucing it, and just correct them.

My unusual first name was shortened in my teenage years and people who know me from way back always use it. When we moved to a village there was already someone by that name and so the longer version came back into play and now I answer to either. On the whole I prefer the short version as it reminds me of my younger self.

Tell her your name is Deborah, and if she calls you Debbie, ignore her.

She’ll get the message.

I certainly wouldn’t bother calling her Lizzie though.

My late husband was Bernard. One person always called him Bernie. I hated that.
I have a DD whom we named Elizabeth, but have never called her that but a diminutive. We gave her the longer name so she had some choices if she wished. Her BIL calls her sweaty Betty!

I've arrived at the stage where I answer to anything!
Mum, Sweetheart, Nurse, Sister, Madame, grand children's nickname for me, Ow you!
My name has always been shortened as I like a brief name that's easy for people to call.
But if you wish to not shorten your name tell her. I would be mortified if a friend let me go on abbreviating her name if she wasn't happy about it.

I stopped anyone calling me Harry since childhood by ignoring anyone who shortened my name that way. It never happens again, and now I am too old to be denigrated that way :-)

I would tell her kindly that really you do prefer Deborah. And maybe give a few gentle reminders. And then perhaps try a pointed Lizzie If she’s not getting the message. I too have a Mae that is often shortened and I have never liked it.

Long standing friends !!

People shorten my name too , I find it particularly difficult when it is done by people I don't know very well! My very long friends shorten my name and I am happy about that. My parents never shortened my name nor do my siblings or DH. I really do prefer my full name - because I like it! Tell Elizabeth I'm a gentle way that you prefer not to have your name shortened.

Some people always shorten my husband's name, even though he doesn't care for it and it doesn't suit him as much. We even put his proper name on Christmas cards and still people will shorten it. It just seems a bit thoughtless and a bit rude really not to get people's names right.

My neighbour told me her name was Devorah and she got very cross because I heard it as Deborah (all three syllables stressed). I worked with a woman called Debra (sic) and her horrible ex used to call her Debris.

It used to make me cross when my late MIL used to insist on calling me by and writing my monosyllabic name with an ie on the end, it felt patronising.

I think it is disrespectful to call anyone by a name they don't want to be called by.

Just gently tell her you prefer people to use your full name. You can explain why if you want to - or not, as you prefer. It should only need to be explained once to each person (especially in a professional situation like visiting the dentist!).

I would tell her straight my name is Deborah and that is how I like to be addressed.
My husband’s name has often been shortened over the years it annoys me. I usually say that he does not like his name shortened he is far too polite to tell them.

I have never liked my Christian name. It always seemed so out of the ordinary at school. I’ve no idea what my parents were thinking of! DH never called me by it, just by the shortened form. The only people who use it now are my GP and our walk leader, in spite of the fact that I have asked her to use my shortened name.

My D is Judith and very soon sets anyone straight who shortens it.
It is her name and she loves it.