Gransnet forums

Chat

Changing my name

(91 Posts)
Oopsadaisy1 Thu 09-Jan-25 19:25:47

Sorry forgot to say, just tell that you prefer her to use your proper name.

Oopsadaisy1 Thu 09-Jan-25 19:23:14

Well it’s complicated……..

No one can pronounce my name

Nobody can spell it

My name is now reduced to 3 letters rather than 8, it’s so much easier. It started at secondary school as at home my parents, Aunts, Uncles and cousins always called me by a totally different nickname anyway, ( cousins still do) .

Sigh……

Babs03 Thu 09-Jan-25 19:17:51

Don't get too worked up about it, just correct her and say you prefer to be called Deborah rather than go on the offensive, could be that she knows a Debbie and so just uses it automatically, unless she is using it in spite, and you have said nothing to imply this, would be silly to start calling her other names.
I have an elderly neighbour who keeps calling me Bridget, it isn't my name but he is getting forgetful so have stopped correcting him and now most of the neighbours call me that on occasion as a joke. I don't mind because I don't actually like the name I was given whether it is shortened or not.

Nonnato2 Thu 09-Jan-25 19:17:16

Ladyleftfieldlover

My friend who sometimes causes difficulties in restaurants, has changed her name by deed poll and it is all official. This was several years ago and I still haven’t used her new name! I don’t call her anything. Her new name is the same as my sister and a very good friend who’ve I’ve known over 40 years.

How rude not to call her anything.

M0nica Thu 09-Jan-25 19:10:15

I have always been known by my full name. If anyone uses a diminution, I either say to them politely that my name is 'Arabella' and that is the name I respond to. After that if theye use anything but my full name I ignore them because it is quite clear that they are not taalking to me.

In this case I would speak to the lady concerned quietly and privately, say that you recognised how easy it is to shorten your name, but you prefer to be called by your full name and you feel sure that she will respect your preferences. If she doesn't, just ignore her.

Oreo Thu 09-Jan-25 19:06:06

I know several Judiths, a Judy and a Jude 😄

Oreo Thu 09-Jan-25 19:05:00

I know two Debs and one Debbie, Deborah is a nice name tho a long one.Just tell people what you prefer.

fancythat Thu 09-Jan-25 19:03:42

I know someone who called her child Victoria.
Always Victoria, never Vicki or anything else.
We all got the memo!

Ladyleftfieldlover Thu 09-Jan-25 18:25:51

My friend who sometimes causes difficulties in restaurants, has changed her name by deed poll and it is all official. This was several years ago and I still haven’t used her new name! I don’t call her anything. Her new name is the same as my sister and a very good friend who’ve I’ve known over 40 years.

Nonnato2 Thu 09-Jan-25 18:15:07

Why not just tell her? I have a friend called Judith who told me quite firmly that she likes her full name and not to call her Judy. I really don’t see what your problem is.

Barleyfields Thu 09-Jan-25 18:13:03

My name was always shortened by my first husband and his family. I didn’t like it but said nothing, being very young. Nobody has tried to shorten it since my divorce. It would be easy to say politely that you prefer Deborah. No need to go to the extreme of changing your name!

Primrose53 Thu 09-Jan-25 18:00:26

I have a friend who I have always known as Pauline. A few years ago she decided to call herself Polly. I just cannot get used to it, try as I might. She doesn’t get offended though.

It must be a bit of a trend because a friend called Anne now prefers to be called Annie and another prefers to be called Lynnie rather than Lynn.

surfingsal Thu 09-Jan-25 17:56:54

My mothers name is Francesca and anyone who calls her Frankie quickly learn never to call her that again!

Grandmabatty Thu 09-Jan-25 17:54:08

I would just keep correcting her. I have a friend who is terrible with names and frequently gets it wrong. She's always mortified and grateful for reminders

Sparklefizz Thu 09-Jan-25 17:54:03

I would just tell her what you want to be called. You might shorten her name and she might not mind.

I get called several different abbreviations of my name and the only time I wasn't keen was when a dental surgeon I'd never met before, who was about to extract my wisdom teeth, suddenly called me by a shortened version of my name. It seemed over familiar and odd at the time but perhaps he was just trying to put me at ease.

Biscuitmuncher Thu 09-Jan-25 17:48:58

I'm not changing my name, other people, bless them are doing it for me. I'm early 60s and my name is Deborah. I've had this a few times in my life when people decide I'm a Debbie, I really don't like it, in fact it enrages me. I've joined a group where a woman called Elizabeth has started calling me this, would I be unreasonable to call her Lizzy or Betty?