Benefits cheats, do you know one?

Years ago I knew (quite well) one 'benefit cheat'.

She had two young children - one with mental-health problems which weren't acknowledged by the medical profession, a cheating husband who left her, and a chaotic life-style after going through complicated surgery.

A mutual friend gave her some work to do from home for cash-in-hand (book keeping).

I didn't report her because with the money she earned, she bought shoes and winter coats for the two children, and paid an instalment on a dryer so that she could keep up with washing the sheets from the bed of the child who kept wetting it because of his mental-health problem - whatever it was.

She got scared about being 'found out' and stopped working cash-in-hand.

Her benefits just didn't meet her needs - or rather, the children's needs.

... and I don't feel guilty about not reporting her.

In those circumstances I would have turned a blind eye too. The children shouldn’t suffer because they have a feckless father.

Barleyfields

I struggle to find a polite response to that.

Yes, me too . Who is supposed to do the 'out of leisure time' work? People from a lesser species?

I wouldn't report benefit frauds or tax cheats. I don't know anyone doing either, AFAIK, but I can't really get on board with a mentality that 'reports' people, or thinks in terms of what is 'allowed'. There is a huge difference between the sort of fraud that involves multiple pension books (or whatever it was) in the recent organised gang fraud and someone doing a bit of cleaning to buy Christmas presents for her children. Yes, the same principle applies to both, but I can't look on them in the same way.

Doodledog I totally agree 👏👏👏

It would just be better all round if there was a way that women (because it almost always is women who are trying to ensure their children are provided for) were rewarded for their efforts, rather than living in fear.

Meanwhile, the fathers of these children were free to sweep it all under the carpet and start a new family with a different partner.

I wouldnt want to be part of that system, enabling the males.

I wouldn’t look on those two examples in the same way either. I’m not totally without compassion.

I have a new friend. Both her sons (late thirties, early forties) do not work because of ‘bad back’. They rolled out of bed at midday and spend most of their time in front of the computer. I know this but cannot bring myself to snitch on anybody.

The number of people between the ages of 16 to 64 who are not economically active is about 10 million, which is staggering. That is more than the population of Hong Kong or Singapore.

It is up to the UK government to come up with a better benefit system that is fool proof and not subject to abuse which does not rely on people snitching on those who are on benefits.

I honestly don't know how the bad back reason is still going strong.

The jobcentre are behind benefits claimants all the time, metaphorically kicking them up the backsides to provide medical evidence, or get to work.

Why can’t you bring yourself to snitch on these layabouts? You won’t be the only person who knows about them. They are just leeching off the rest of us who somehow managed to drag ourselves into work and pay our taxes.

Icandoit

One of our neighbours has a son who is mid 20's now, he comes into the 'special needs' category. He can fend for himself, he has worked previously and is now working with the local authority so is managing fairly well, his disability is not physical. The parents claim and receive a new car every 3/4 years as it's supposed to be for the son for transport purposes, however the car gets used daily to take mum back and forth to her work and the son regularly uses public transport. It really irks me that this is allowed or indeed possible for this to happen. If the son could drive I can see the point but he can't, it's the parents who do the driving on all occasions. Think it seems a bit unfair tbh. If he was under 16 and needed taking places I would see the point but do not see why the parents come into the category of claiming for an adult now.

I presume the car is provided under the Motorbility scheme. In order to get a car under this scheme you have to be in receipt of the mobility component of DLA or PIP (there may be others I'm unaware of) The mobility component is paid to the charity to lease the car. I'm really surprised that someone capable of negotiating public transport independently who doesn't have a physical disability has been awarded the mobility element, it really isn't easy to qualify. My grandchild who has complex special needs but no physical disablement receives the mobility element and the parents use that for a Motorbility car. This continues even as an adult as my grandchild couldn't be trusted to go to the end of the road without supervision, let alone negotiate public transport, and will never be able to drive, learning difficulties and other comorbidities will ensure that.

Barleyfields

In those circumstances I would have turned a blind eye too. The children shouldn’t suffer because they have a feckless father.

Basically, that is what the whole sorry situation boiled down to.

He left his wife and mother of his two children at a time when they all needed him, financially and emotionally. It happens.

Quite simply, the benefits didn't cover her or her children's needs.

She could have declared her earnings, but after a certain amount, they would have been taken off the benefit amount - the so-called "poverty trap".

She was attempting to dry bedsheets in the autumn / winter - every day, draping them around the small flat, couldn't afford the local launderette charges, whilst dealing with an emotionally upset child, not knowing the cause of his upset and without any practical help from her GP, nor anyone else (except, as friends, obviously, we helped where we could).

The children needed new shoes and coats and time was ticking.

She applied for a 'special needs' one-off payment (available at that time) or whatever it was called then, but was refused on the basis that she'd already had one - to replace the curtains in the children's bedroom which had reached the point where they were beyond repair, and were too flimsy to keep out the cold (there was no central heating in the flat).

She was also recovering from major surgery (we looked after her children via a rota system) and was weak, tired and depressed.

I'm not sure people always understand just how difficult life can be for some "on benefits".

At least she was able to take the children to school in sturdy shoes and warm coats, and have a clean dry sheet each night for the elder child. I'd have done the same in her position.

So would I, Dickens. She was a world away from those who pretend to be disabled and/or call those of us who work ‘mugs’. I hope things turned out well for her and her children in the end.

Barleyfields

So would I, Dickens. She was a world away from those who pretend to be disabled and/or call those of us who work ‘mugs’. I hope things turned out well for her and her children in the end.

I hope things turned out well for her and her children in the end.

Yes - they did. The children are now well-adjusted parents themselves...

My husbands bad back is quite famous. His Consultant is very well respected in his field and he has taken husbands MRI scans on lecture tours in north America and Australia.

My husband often rolls out of bed at midday as it takes a while for his meds to work and he can't have some until he's eaten. Then it takes quite a while for him to wash and dress before he can actually appear downstairs.

One of the worst things about being crippled by back pain is other people's dismissal of it. Sometimes I listen to him screaming in pain as he waits for the morphine to kick in and wish people could understand and accept how bad a bad back can be.

theworriedwell

My husbands bad back is quite famous. His Consultant is very well respected in his field and he has taken husbands MRI scans on lecture tours in north America and Australia.

My husband often rolls out of bed at midday as it takes a while for his meds to work and he can't have some until he's eaten. Then it takes quite a while for him to wash and dress before he can actually appear downstairs.

One of the worst things about being crippled by back pain is other people's dismissal of it. Sometimes I listen to him screaming in pain as he waits for the morphine to kick in and wish people could understand and accept how bad a bad back can be.

Sometimes I listen to him screaming in pain as he waits for the morphine to kick in and wish people could understand and accept how bad a bad back can be.

Some of us do theworriedwell, be assured.

My OH has lumbar spinal stenosis and also has to wait for the opioids to kick in each morning.

It's stressful and upsetting listening to the cries of anguish and pain, isn't it? In fact, it takes quite a toll on both of you.

Thanks Dickens. I'm sorry you and your husband have the same issue but thanks for the support. We've been like this for 32 years and it certainly takes a toll.

theworriedwell

Thanks Dickens. I'm sorry you and your husband have the same issue but thanks for the support. We've been like this for 32 years and it certainly takes a toll.

xx

My mum had a terrible bad back.
It was twisted and bent.
Her head was down by her knees in the end, she was so bent over.

It affected her eating,squashing her insides, and life was very, very hard for her.

Oh your poor mum. How awful for her.

It was terrible, I have to say, and it happened over a short period of time, too.
She was a very upright, trim, hardworking woman.

Poor lady. Nobody deserves that.

Thank you.

Indigo8

For me, it would depend on the circumstances.

Say for instance a single mother on benefits did a bit of cash in hand, cleaning in order to be able to afford enough for her children to have the odd decent meal that didn't come from the food bank, then I might turn a blind eye.(this is hypothetical)

But if somebody were claiming benefits and running a lucrative online business which enabled them to swank about in designer clothes, wear a Rolex and run an expensive car then, yes, I would have no qualms about reporting them.(again hypothetical)

Personally, I don't think there is a one size fits all answer to the question posed by the OP.

I would in a heartbeat if they were driving a fancy car & wearing fancy clothes, but a single mother, or single hard up person doing cash in hand, no I couldn’t

Dickens

Years ago I knew (quite well) one 'benefit cheat'.

She had two young children - one with mental-health problems which weren't acknowledged by the medical profession, a cheating husband who left her, and a chaotic life-style after going through complicated surgery.

A mutual friend gave her some work to do from home for cash-in-hand (book keeping).

I didn't report her because with the money she earned, she bought shoes and winter coats for the two children, and paid an instalment on a dryer so that she could keep up with washing the sheets from the bed of the child who kept wetting it because of his mental-health problem - whatever it was.

She got scared about being 'found out' and stopped working cash-in-hand.

Her benefits just didn't meet her needs - or rather, the children's needs.

... and I don't feel guilty about not reporting her.

Nope I don’t blame you, I couldn’t report someone if I knew they were genuinely struggling