Valentine’s Day ♥️ How many times have you been truly in love? ♥️

Once, my husband and sadly he died young

FlexibleFriend

Just the once, the father of my children. We were together 27 years and were in love and lust every day of those years. Stupidly we split due to outside pressures but tbh I still love him today but try to have as little contact as possible because he's now with someone else and I don't want to be hurt again. We remain friendly but at arms length. It is what it is.

Many many times!

Just the once, the father of my children. We were together 27 years and were in love and lust every day of those years. Stupidly we split due to outside pressures but tbh I still love him today but try to have as little contact as possible because he's now with someone else and I don't want to be hurt again. We remain friendly but at arms length. It is what it is.

Once, maybe twice. I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend, but what I feel for my current boyfriend is more like lust than love. It's too bad that me and my ex-boyfriend had such a silly argument.

I met my first husband when I was 20 we got engaged I thought I was in love. We saved up bought a house but honestly I married him because I was expected to. He turned out a total rat on two legs I couldn’t wait to get rid of him.
I knew my DH of 28yrs when I was young he was just then a friend of a friend. Time passed we both lived our lives but met up by chance years later. I was divorced with two very young children. We hit it off immediately I knew it was real love because I couldn’t be separated from him and neither could my children.

Just my husband and we have been married 57 years ( me,a child bride and all ) I used to have a boyfriend when I was about 14 and he dumped me. Took me a week to get over it but I don’t think it was love, just hurt feelings.

There were a few important people. The first one was when I was about 12 or 13, and this man was connected with my father in his work. I felt very attracted to him and did everything I could to be around when he was there. He smoked small cigars and even now if I smell that particular cigar it takes me back to those days. He probably wasnt even aware of me but I was so sad when he went abroad to live. But when people say oh you dont know what love is etc etc then I just know how important he was to me.

Then much later I met a really lovely man who asked me to marry him and I wanted to. But although we did lots of lovely things it always ended up with drinking in a pub somewhere. I was happy to have the odd drink, but had seen a friends father make their families life a misery with his coming home drunk and that awful feeling of never knowing what he was going to be like if he was late. I became aware of the drinking and said if he could do without drinking for 6 months then we would be fine, but sadly even though he tried for a time, he went back to it, and so I gave him up, although I was very sad about it but couldnt cope with that.

The one that really mattered was my darling husband, and we had 40 years of real love together. Of course we had our ups and down and argued sometimes but never about the things that really mattered. We absolutely knew that we loved each other, and that is a great gift. We were a very romantic couple and did all sorts of things that were special. We always had cards both for valentines day, and another anniversary was the day we first met, and another a very special day to remember.

He used to also put valentines messages in both the local paper and in the Guardian too. I have little scraps of paper with the messages on them to treasure still. I miss him more than I can say especially at this time, but am blessed with some wonderful memories. I no longer live near our special tree but used to go and take a little picnic and a drink and sit there and think of him.

Our special place up in swaledale is where I go when things are tough or times like valentines day and sit and think of him there. Couldnt do that this year as I cannot drive due to the cataracts.Really missed going there but I can still think of us being there in the past Its that strange combination of feeling especially alone when there is so much emphasis on couples and being together, but it is a chance to remember wonderful times, meeting for a trip ip the river with a picnic in the dark. Driving up to the top of the moor and lying on a blanket looking at the stars and seeing a shooting star, sitting by the sea eating fish and chips, besides the more usual meals out etc. Keep making memories with your special person and they will be your treasures in years to come.

M0nica

I think words like 'love' and being 'in love' do mean diferent things to different people. Personally, I am very cautious about using the word love in relationships and the only people I have used it to are the two people I have wanted life long relationships with. DH and one other.

It applies to lots of other words as well, people will have different understandings of the exact meaning of a word. Nearly always it is a word loaded with emotion.

and of course there are so many different types of love. We love people in different ways, family, friends, pets, the love, empathy, compassion and adoration we feel for them is all called love.

Thankfully met my wonderful DH when I was 16, got married when I was 19 and still together 57 years later.

I think words like 'love' and being 'in love' do mean diferent things to different people. Personally, I am very cautious about using the word love in relationships and the only people I have used it to are the two people I have wanted life long relationships with. DH and one other.

It applies to lots of other words as well, people will have different understandings of the exact meaning of a word. Nearly always it is a word loaded with emotion.

I was totally infatuated with a man and was not mature enough to realise that it wasn’t love. He broke my heart. When I met DH I knew what it was to be in love and I knew he felt the same. We were like chalk and cheese and no-one thought we were in the least bit compatible but it worked, through thick and thin, for fifty six lovely years.

Once with DH, we’ve been married 37 years, and he’s wonderful x

SillyNanny321

Something that my Nan said many many years ago was right for me! She said you can love several times for different reasons but only be truly in love just once!

I think it is totally opposite, we fall in love many times but we love only one or two from the bottom of our hearts. falling in love in a fantasy we like, it is lust and wanting to constantly touch, if love is the next stage its is wonderful but often it is not and just eventually fades away when the lusting stops.

Why do so many see it the other way around I wonder do the words mean different things to different people or are they just answering OP's question in a strange way.

win

RosieandherMaw

David49

I’m very disappointed in many of the responses

To me the excitement of lust is sex and any advantage you can gain from that.

Love is putting your partners wants and needs above your own, sex is included in that but not dominant.

Any disagreement on those definitions

I don’t know how you can be disappointed in many of the responses
Members have posted their own thoughts on a personal: matter and it’s not for anybody else to feel disappointment, admiration or any other sentiment.
What did you expect? Iambic pentameter?
Your definition of love or lust is your own and you are entitled to it.
Doesn’t mean you or anybody else is the only one to have a view.

David is right he is explaining in love against love, most of the GNs on here are talking about love not being in love, which is the stage where you lust after some one and think you love them but you don't you just fancy them. I am not saying it does not grow in to love, but most times it does not. How many of you have wanted to put another person first in every or at least most instances? that is love.

Well, many of us may have "fancied someone" or many someones in our youth which some call lust.
But it didn't lead to sex.

To me the excitement of lust is sex and any advantage you can gain from that.
That sounds like a very male viewpoint, which is interesting, but, of course, David, the posters on this thread are, I believe, predominantly women. Sorry if you're disappointed but the female view may be different from that of men.

RosieandherMaw

David49

I’m very disappointed in many of the responses

To me the excitement of lust is sex and any advantage you can gain from that.

Love is putting your partners wants and needs above your own, sex is included in that but not dominant.

Any disagreement on those definitions

I don’t know how you can be disappointed in many of the responses
Members have posted their own thoughts on a personal: matter and it’s not for anybody else to feel disappointment, admiration or any other sentiment.
What did you expect? Iambic pentameter?
Your definition of love or lust is your own and you are entitled to it.
Doesn’t mean you or anybody else is the only one to have a view.

David is right he is explaining in love against love, most of the GNs on here are talking about love not being in love, which is the stage where you lust after some one and think you love them but you don't you just fancy them. I am not saying it does not grow in to love, but most times it does not. How many of you have wanted to put another person first in every or at least most instances? that is love.

The question was in love not love, I fell in love very easily as a young one, so was in love quite a few times before finally finding 'the one'. however I found love twice, but my husband was the love of my life. 48 years together. Got a second change after he sadly died and had almost 10 years together before he sadly died too.

Sueki44

Sorry Norah - that song was written for Shania Twain’s husband and he cheated on her with her friend! Not everlasting love on his part!

My favourite, regardless.

My husband fancies a different Valentine tune.

Orleans -- Still the One.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdfW_2frXnE

Three times. twice with married men but not adulterous relationships then my husband of 48 years.

JamesandJon33

I have been married for 60 years and love my husband. Whether I was ever ‘in love’ with him I don’t know. But I was in love with someone long ago, and even though I know he is dead, I still think of him . Is that wrong of me?

Me too! I used to rationalise that I knew nothing about his life once we parted, that I was putting a rosy glow on who he was and for all I knew if I had met him, 10, 20 40, years later we would have nothing in common because our lives would have followed different courses and I would wonder what the attraction would be.

Then, out of curiousity one night I googles his name and up came his obituary. He had died only a few months previously and his obituary published in the Journal of his professional calling showed that he had been everything I remembered. The obituary dwelt on the qualities of his personality, which I remembered and how they contributed to his professional success and how he had been happily married and how much he would be missed not just by his family.

I wept.

Just once. I met my husband at school and have adored him ever since.

Twice. Once when I was 16 nearly 17 and we both really felt that we were each other's soulmates and were destined to be together. Unfortunately my parents took against him as they wanted me to go to University and he wasn't part of their plans. We parted, but I've always wondered "What if?" I didn't go to University and they blamed him (although it was my choice as I never wanted to go anyway) which caused huge ructions and caused the split.

My DH and I met in our 20s, and married five months later. There was a certain amount of "lust" factor, but I just knew that he was the one for me and he felt the same. We've certainly had ups and downs but are still together after 45 years and two children later, and funnily enough my parents never questioned our decision to marry so quickly - perhaps they knew too!

Lucyd

In lust a few times as a student and in my early twenties but only ever truly in love once- my late husband. On paper he didn't tick any of the boxes but when he kissed me I remember thinking "I want to marry you!" My Mum was in shock when I told her I had met the man I knew I would marry as my parents had pretty much thought I would never tie the knot. Despite the first two years of our relationship being spent in different countries (lots of letters writing, phone calls, cross channel ferries and flights) we did stay together until he sadly died suddenly at just 54. Still in love with him and always will be.

That is so very romantic Lucyd. So sad that you lost your husband at such a young age.

I often ask myself if I’ve ever been ‘in love’, Can vividly recall the passionate relationships of the past, but not convinced I loved my ex husband and don’t think I love my OH.

I’ve had many crushes in my younger days but I’ve been in love twice. One I was engaged too and then my DH. He’s just cooked me a gorgeous steak dinner I’m very lucky he’s a lovely caring man.