I miss my truelove today and may fish out a couple of his handmade, funny cards he gave me. 51years together wasn't long enough.
Before we met, I had several boyfriends and he had some quite serious girlfriends but there wasn't that meeting of minds, of ideals, of SOH, of passionate lust, of knowing we wanted to spend our lives together and never part. 😥❤️
I've had crushes on a few men (some of whom I dated for a while) and could have landed up marrying several men. My first boyfriend - boy did I ever have a crush on him and he had one on me.....but thank goodness I had the sense to chuck him (especially as I had no idea whatsoever what the - Arabic! - country he came from was like). I could have been in a LOT of trouble...darn sure I would have been in fact if I'd married him. Very very lucky escape indeed that I chucked him.
I was very fond of the only man that was worth going out with of any of them. Still good friends with his mother all these years later. But I think one of the things that did for him was my fathers comment of "He's not intelligent enough for you". Cue for he did, over the years, listen to my comments of "That job isn't good enough for you" and, by a winding route, did land up doing an Open University course to get a degree and got himself a management type career then that he's had for years. It would have come to grief in the end anyway - as he had That Jab and I wouldnt go within a million miles of it and we would probably have broken up at that point - even though he was one of the ones blackmailed into it by his employer - as it is a high-level care job (so it wouldnt have been possible for me to persuade him not to basically).
Looking back - I think I learnt from the first relationship (ie the Arabic man) that I must "think with head as well as heart" and there is no way that love alone can win out - if logic is saying "Run ......and fast. This is illogical". I knew if I "settled" that I'd be unfaithful - as I'd have kept looking for The One.
It would have been nice - and would have saved one HECK of a lot of financial struggle (eg with two of us the starter house would have turned up when it was due at early 20's - rather than a LOT of struggle and a heck of a fluke of "right place right time" in my mid-30's). I'd have avoided one heck of a lot of sideline work/lodgers and having to move across country at 60 (as I still hadn't got my detached house with garden - despite my best efforts - and the move was necessary in order to get it). You can't grow stuff in your garden if you've not got one. You can't enjoy the "peace and quiet" of a detached house if it's still the mid-terrace starter house.
I did the best I could - and it would have been nice to meet Him....but if you don't you don't....
Once - at 16 years of age and a holiday romance. Finished after three months. Do not think I was 'in love' when I got married, we were great friends, and if MS had not reared its ugly head would probably have stayed together for life - but my real love of my life came into being as I became a Mother and those children always have been the most important people in my life.
Passionate all consuming lust ( not sure if that counts as love) several times but I knew they were not suitable long term partners. Wanting to share my life with ( is that love?) once. It's not perfect but it ticks enough boxes to be a very happy relationship. I've never found both in one man.
“Whatever love means” as the King once said. I would say twice.
I thought that was a cruel thing to say in front of his new fiancée, but how true. “Being in love” is often used for a short-term emotion, whereas loving someone is a long-term committed relationship.
Once .. I was lucky enough to find the love of my life when I was 16 he was 18. We had wonderful life together full of ups and downs . We argued but always told eachother we love eachother. We never argued about important things . He was the other half of me and me his. We had 29 years together married 22 when he died aged 47. He was my one an only . But I was lucky to have been loved and love in return . Never wanted anyone else . Been 21 years since he died but my love and grief for him has never lessoned . But because of him I keep going everyday. My knight in slightly tarnished armoury . Who would have fought dragons for me. And I him .