The Dumped, the Divorced and the Disheartened

Nanny27

There seems to be a lot of confusion on here between celebrating VD or Mother's Day etc and spending money. I love Mothers Day. I hope for a lovely phone call from my far away sons and maybe a visit or an invitation to tea from my daughter. No money involved but lots of love and appreciation for just being their mum.

Yes

If you look at the origins of VD, it’s not just about adult sexual love, it’s just about love. Love for our partners/families/friends.

My daughter’s bestie and her exchange small gifts on VD, I think it’s rather sweet.

My DF always sent me a card and a small pressie, as well as sending similar to my DM.

Indigo8 Thanks for including the resolutely single! I was married for over thirty years but have no desire to revisit that state. I was widowed seventeen years ago. I don't want to sound harsh, and I'm sorry for anyone recently bereaved, lonely or estranged. No offence intended, but I'm happily single. I'm lucky to have three adult children and three grandchildren so I'm not short of people to love who also love me. Valentine's day hype doesn't bother me.

Dear me, Gogo , that must have cast a blight over Valentine's Day!

I haven't read all the posts so I'm sorry if this is repeating someone else. The online card sites ask me if I want to receive reminders for significant dates e.g. I just had one from moonpig asking me if I'd rather not be reminded about mothers day.

My late DH and I always gave cards to each other on Valentine's Day and for the last 3 years I've put up some of the cards he sent me. Sobbed and sobbed over them but felt better afterwards.

There seems to be a lot of confusion on here between celebrating VD or Mother's Day etc and spending money. I love Mothers Day. I hope for a lovely phone call from my far away sons and maybe a visit or an invitation to tea from my daughter. No money involved but lots of love and appreciation for just being their mum.

Valentine's day always reminds me of finding a valentine card to my husband from another woman he swore he wasn't having a relationship with. We separated soon after!

we never bother but my daughter made me a beautiful card

MayBee70

I think it’s worse when you’re young and your friends get Valentines cards; I never received one .

Ah, never mind, when I was about 14 two friends showed me their cards, one had 2 and the other 3 and I was impressed, but did wonder who these admirers could be, seeing as the boys in our year had no interest in them.Years later they admitted they bought them and wrote messages in them.😄
Ironically I usually had one card but I guessed who the boy was who sent them and I didn’t reciprocate his feelings.

Yes indeed, I agree my 17 year old grandson's ohr was buried a few weeks ago, but he's not making a song and dance about anything.

I have never believed in Valentine’s Day love is love you don’t need a reminder or to spend money. Mother’s Day Father’s Day grandma’s Day whatever why spend money. I always told mine that I did not need them to spend money to know they care. I have seen people very upset over some of these days and they are hurting so why do we do it. Sorry if this is a miserable way of looking at things but I try ignore them all. I do send my mum something as she is of a different generation and feels differently to myself. We do celebrate birthdays and Xmas.

Should say didn’t have one to share the day with.

I agree the first Mother’s Day after my mum died was hard as was the one after my DMiL died. I can still remember being in a card shop in Glasgow city centre ages 15 picking
a card for my gran and automatically reached for one for my mum only to remember I did have one to share the day with. I dropped both cards and left the shop in tears.

The only time my ex husband bought a dozen roses they were silk ones - really not the same as the real thing! I still have them in a vase - somewhat dusty. I guess that was the idea that they were everlasting. But they spoke to me of a dead relationship, not a romantic gesture! He was normally good at gifts - better than me for having a good idea - but that was a big fail!

CrazyH, good for you.I'm sure your daughter appreciated the gesture. My daughter and SIL always celebrated Valentine's Day - but he died last year, and she is now a working single mum. I sent her a message to show her I remembered, and a small amount of extra money so they could all go out together - after school and work - to buy some chocolate treats.A very small thing, but it seemed to cheer her up.She sent me a picture showing what choices they had made. And several red heart emojis.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t bother me one bit. I’m very contented being single and it reminds me (as if I need reminding,) how much better life is for me without a “significant other.”
I have peace of mind, autonomy and none of the drama that went with relationships. I’ve built a life with real friends and do the things that make me fulfilled. My home is my sanctuary and shared only with the dog.
I wouldn’t say I’m relationship-phobic but I have to try not to let my scepticism show too much around my daughter, who’s very happy with her partner and talking of marriage. I am genuinely happy for her and glad that she’s found a good ‘un.
Valentine’s is a commercial construct and I can assure you that a significant proportion of those happy couples out for dinner last night were just going through the motions.

Dear Monica, wishing you both a happy anniversary, with many more to follow. Enjoy your meal on Sunday.

As we got married on 17th February, we have always ignored Valentines day in favour of our anniversary. Flowers are cheaper and restaurants less crowded.

As this year the 17th is a Monday, which means every half decent restaurant will be closed, we have booked a table at the best restaurant in the area for Sunday lunch.

It’s my brother in laws funeral on Monday. I ordered a posy and was advised to go up a size because flowers are so expensive over valentines. It’s family flowers only and donations to the hospice. I’ve done both and the flowers we’re important to me, we are not a big famiky x

I couldn't believe the amount of time given to Valentine's Day on the News today. I mean it's a bit of fun if you've got a Valentine, but News???

I'll just add a joke I saw on Facebook.

Someone has sent me a lovely card every Valentine's Day for years. This year, nothing! It's been a rotten year all round, my granny died as well.

I think it’s worse when you’re young and your friends get Valentines cards; I never received one .

I have just remembered this- when my father died, Mum wanted red roses on his coffin. She was advised that because the funeral was on 13Feb, red roses would be very expensive, so, sensibly, she opted for red carnations instead.

grumppa

We have always celebrated Valentine's Day, at the least by exchanging cards. For the last few years we have had something special to eat at home, rather than be ripped off in restaurants, and for the last two DW has been unable to get out by herself to choose a card, so I have designed a joint one celebrating that we are each other's Valentine, even after nearly fifty-two years of marriage.

Absolutely wonderful. We share Valentine’s Day as well and have been doing so ever since we got together.

crazyH

I don’t let it bother me. But I do feel sorry for my young divorced daughter. I wish she had someone to treat her and send her a big bunch of red roses. I feel so sad for her. She works so hard for her children but there you go - life eh? My daughters-in-law will be spoiled today. And so they should …

Snap…😥
Except for the last sentence….