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The Dumped, the Divorced and the Disheartened

(98 Posts)
Indigo8 Fri 14-Feb-25 11:04:37

Perhaps I should add The Resolutely Single.

There has been a great deal of hype, as usual, around Valentine's Day.

It must be quite hurtful for many people to be constantly reminded that they have no 'significant other'.

Shinamae Fri 14-Feb-25 17:24:46

I have been single for well over 30 years now (happily and by choice)let others ignore it if they want or enjoy it,makes no difference to me…💖💖💖💖💖
I will actually have a very nice evening watching question time and shouting at the TV 🤗😁

crazyH Fri 14-Feb-25 17:13:29

Aldom - thankyou xx

Romola Fri 14-Feb-25 16:12:57

The last time I had a Valentine card was from my first boyfriend when I was about 16. The whole thing is just silly. But I did make DH one out of scraps in lockdown, another little lockdown project, never to be repeated.

Baggs Fri 14-Feb-25 16:01:31

Someone determind=ed to feel hurt by other people's enjoyment will always find a way. Suggestion for today that could be applied on any day that doesn't "include" one: ignore it.

I'm pretty sure most people do. The razzmatazz and hype is mostly in and by the media.

keepingquiet Fri 14-Feb-25 15:56:11

I saw some footage from Coventry Cathedral today. It is the 75th anniversary of the bombing today and married couples were invited to attend and declare their still-lasting love for each other.

I found it very heart-warming and moving. Although I prefer being single now I have a lot of admiration for people who can 'stick it out' which I couldn't.

I was even a bit teary and quite gald my stony heart had been touched by what seemed a very genuine and appropriate occasion.

Except the dog 'bridesmaid' though- they needn't have shown me that! Spoiled it really.

pascal30 Fri 14-Feb-25 15:52:55

We never did celebrate valentines day.. just enjoyed each day together..

Indigo8 Fri 14-Feb-25 15:46:09

Sorry M0nica you are reading far more into what I wrote than is actually there. Nowhere do I advocate a ban on VD or any other form of celebration but if if that is the way you wish to interpret it, go ahead.

Casdon Fri 14-Feb-25 15:44:23

For the dumped, there’s always this option.

Claremont Fri 14-Feb-25 15:34:26

J52

“I may well treat myself to some chocolates today and celebrate not having a Valentine. I'm 67, not 17...”

Wait till tomorrow they’ll be cheaper 🙂

lol, and roses, all flowers.

55 years with this great man. He is not a soppy romantic, and I like this. He is hugely intelligent, funny and steady as a rock, and that is worth so much more than a box of chocs or a rose or twenty, on Valentine's day.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Fri 14-Feb-25 15:29:51

Iam64

RosieandherMaw

Oreo

We’ll all be holding hands and sing Kumbaya round the campfire in a minute.
There are loads of days that are non applicable to people as already said like Mothers Day and Christmas and so on.
That’s life.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Fabulous Oreo

True. Just read this Oreo and it made me smile! Nail on head.

Aldom Fri 14-Feb-25 15:19:48

CrazyH flowers flowers
for you and your daughter.

crazyH Fri 14-Feb-25 15:07:40

I don’t let it bother me. But I do feel sorry for my young divorced daughter. I wish she had someone to treat her and send her a big bunch of red roses. I feel so sad for her. She works so hard for her children but there you go - life eh? My daughters-in-law will be spoiled today. And so they should …

M0nica Fri 14-Feb-25 15:01:11

Indigo8

The growing number of men and women who are quite happy to be single ie the resolutely single, might find the insistent pedalling of the idea that life in incomplete without 'another half' implicit in the whole Valentine's Day thing wearing to say the least. Especially as the hearts and flowers seem to be on display and in the TV ads earlier each year.

It is not that they want a partner, it's just that they don't want to be constantly told that they should have a partner.

The logic of your post Indigo8 is that we should not celebrate anything, ever. Because whatever you celebrate, someone willl feel left out, having a baby, a wedding, a birthday - a _relation's birthday, everyone has dead relations - or none, Valentines day, Mothers, fathers, grandparents days, exam results, getting a job, retiring, of course all festivals like Christmas, Easter and all other religious festivals each and everyone is bound to upset someone.

Come to that never be happy in public don't laugh or greet a friend with delight, that person behind you, might just have suddered a bereavement, or broken a relationship with a friend.

On the other hand the snow flakes of this world could just swop their willow spine for one of steel and accept that as we go through life, every so often when they are unhappy others are happy, just as when they are happy, others are sad.

My sister died on Easter Sunday, the next Easter Sunday we were a bit subdued, but then we got back to normal. Yes, we all remember DS died on Easter Sunday, but then we tuck into the chocolate eggs.

grumppa Fri 14-Feb-25 14:56:13

We have always celebrated Valentine's Day, at the least by exchanging cards. For the last few years we have had something special to eat at home, rather than be ripped off in restaurants, and for the last two DW has been unable to get out by herself to choose a card, so I have designed a joint one celebrating that we are each other's Valentine, even after nearly fifty-two years of marriage.

Chocolatelovinggran Fri 14-Feb-25 14:51:48

Thanks Indigo. I am among the Happy Dumped.
However, I did enjoy the special offer meal- for- two offer at the supermarket: a pleasant meal , one part yesterday, and one half this evening, and a bottle of fizz to enjoy with my girlfriends next week .

Indigo8 Fri 14-Feb-25 14:46:45

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone on GN even if you are just happily ignoring it.wineorbrew

Franski Fri 14-Feb-25 14:42:57

Ps hubby going out with mix of blokes!

Franski Fri 14-Feb-25 14:42:02

Going out with girlfriends this evening..mix of single and married. Hubby doing the same. Together for 40 years and we honestly cannot bear the exclusivity of the hyped up VD. St Valentine was actually single and celibate... so its really not about romance..it's about shared life values and enough love for everyone. If anyone is feeling unloved today, then please treat yourself, do something lovely for another person and know you are worthy xxx

AGAA4 Fri 14-Feb-25 14:30:12

Indigo8

The growing number of men and women who are quite happy to be single ie the resolutely single, might find the insistent pedalling of the idea that life in incomplete without 'another half' implicit in the whole Valentine's Day thing wearing to say the least. Especially as the hearts and flowers seem to be on display and in the TV ads earlier each year.

It is not that they want a partner, it's just that they don't want to be constantly told that they should have a partner.

I am one of the resolutely single. Widowed a long time ago. It makes no difference to me that people are enjoying Valentine's day. I wish them well.
I'm sorry for those who find it difficult if they have lost someone recently.

RosieandherMaw Fri 14-Feb-25 14:20:07

I can’t believe (well I can but it’s still a bit hmmhmm!) that some women of our age are making a fuss about Valentine cards.

AGAA4 Fri 14-Feb-25 14:00:54

I hadn't even registered that it is Valentine's day till I found a little gift from my DD in my post box. She always sends me something.

Indigo8 Fri 14-Feb-25 13:59:47

The growing number of men and women who are quite happy to be single ie the resolutely single, might find the insistent pedalling of the idea that life in incomplete without 'another half' implicit in the whole Valentine's Day thing wearing to say the least. Especially as the hearts and flowers seem to be on display and in the TV ads earlier each year.

It is not that they want a partner, it's just that they don't want to be constantly told that they should have a partner.

Ziggy62 Fri 14-Feb-25 13:53:50

After my first husband died and I was feeling a bit grumpy another widow friend of mine told me she often bought her flowers since her husband died, I thought it was a lovely idea.

My husband bought me beautiful flowers for today but while I was shopping I saw some lovely roses so bought some for myself

I don't know why anyone would find it hurtful that other people are enjoying a special day

Esmay Fri 14-Feb-25 13:53:10

Yes ,it is very painful when you are on your own .
I did have the chance of a date mooted last week ,but the guy's history is too much .
He doesn't think that abandoning his first partner and their five children a big deal .

I do !

NonGrannyMoll Fri 14-Feb-25 13:52:52

I've never thought of St Valentine's Day as being anything other than a money-generating commercial event, so I don't feel left out in the least if I don't get any cards, flowers or gifts - it just means my loved ones have resisted the hype. The same with so-called Mother's Day - I don't have children any more but I don't mind in the least if other people whose children are still alive get made a fuss of for the day. Incidentally, Mother's Day is a blatant commercial spin-off of Mothering Sunday - a religious festival when the congregations of small local churches all walk to the "mother Church" for a big service. Several hundred years ago people's "mother church" was the one where they were christened, so they went back to worship there on Mothering Sunday, regardless of where they usually worshipped. I should imagine it became a bit complicated when whole families were baptised or brought up in different places, so the term "mother church" was then applied to a particular church in the area (whether the largest or oldest or highest in the Church pecking order, I don't know). But now, for most people, it's all about money, getting presents and being generally spoiled. Interesting, innit, human nature?