The Dumped, the Divorced and the Disheartened

DH and I made each other cards every year for Valentines Day and for birthdays. Only once we booked a table for a meal together. It was weird! We were surrounded by other couples and tables for 2!

An Indian restaurant was doing a Valentines promotion with a written quiz all about love ❤️ about a week before VD and a group of girlfriends/colleagues were having a night out. We completed the quiz and one of us signed it and handed it in.
A week later she rang me and asked if I would join her as we had won 2nd prize. Wearing my old jeans I hadn't realised we were being treated to a fabulous meal for 2 at the restaurant.
We were introduced to the winners who were a male gay couple.
We had the most hilarious fun evening and given yet another voucher for a free meal. I babysat later for one of our quiz group.

Being your own One and Only is just fine as long as you constantly remember these dedicated "Days" revolve solely around commercial interests and parting people from their cash in return for tat and overdone sentiment, both of which are worse than useless.
Marketing execs love these occasions, as they gaze fondly at the latest sales figures spreadsheets......

aonk

I’m in my early 70s. On Mother’s Day I’m fortunate to receive gifts and visits from the AC and GC. For me however the year doesn’t really begin until the day is over. I was 6 when my mother died suddenly and I know virtually nothing about her. Her name was rarely mentioned and it was clear that my father never recovered from the shock. I hate that day but try very hard to put on an act for my wonderful family.

I empathise with you aonk; my father died when I was 5, my mother when I was 13.
I don’t know much about either of them and find both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day hard; we have no children ourselves- by choice I should add- so I do my best to ignore both days.
It has got less difficult as I’ve got older - in my late sixties now.

I could definitely see some singles feeling sad on Valentine's Day. Just like some other widely celebrated days can make people feel what is lacking in their lives more acutely. We all experience things differently.

One thing I'd suggest if anyone wants suggestions is to plan ahead for those days, with whatever might fill some of the void or distract you from bad feelings. Invite another single or two over for dinner or line up some fun movies or a craft project or whatever will get you through the day more contentedly. My feeling is the worst thing to do is not prepare, and end up siting around alone at home with too much time to dwell on it.

Both my children send me a card on Mother's day. That is all.

For us Mothering Sunday is for children to either give a card or a posy of maybe snowdrops or crocus usually from the garden, just as a nice gesture. Once grown up, we don't bother anymore. We certainly don't acknowledge Fathers day or Grandparents! Valentines? No not particularly, this year DH bought a winter Jasmine for the garden which I was pleased with. Flowers, he told me, were a hideous price and not worth the money!!! Actually I agree!

I’m in my early 70s. On Mother’s Day I’m fortunate to receive gifts and visits from the AC and GC. For me however the year doesn’t really begin until the day is over. I was 6 when my mother died suddenly and I know virtually nothing about her. Her name was rarely mentioned and it was clear that my father never recovered from the shock. I hate that day but try very hard to put on an act for my wonderful family.

lizzypopbottle

I haven't read all the posts so I'm sorry if this is repeating someone else. The online card sites ask me if I want to receive reminders for significant dates e.g. I just had one from moonpig asking me if I'd rather not be reminded about mothers day.

Just to clarify, it was Boots that offered to unsubscribe me from mothers day hints.

No, it does not mean love for pets etc.

St Valentine became the patron saint of courting and marital love after his death.

As a Christian priest he performed secret Christian weddings and was executed by Claudius II on 14th February 269.

That's why it's Valentines Day and not Husband or Wife or Partners day so you can spend it with your friends of even pets that you LOVE ❤️❤️

GrannyGravy13

Allira

Oreo

We’ll all be holding hands and sing Kumbaya round the campfire in a minute.
There are loads of days that are non applicable to people as already said like Mothers Day and Christmas and so on.
That’s life.

😂😂😂

Oh and btw, you're not allowed Hot Cross buns until Good Friday!!
It's like eating Valentine's Day chocolates in January 😯

That’s me told!

I have just had two mini M & S hot cross buns with a strong cafe latte to take my tablets.

Naughty.
But I'll let you off under the circumstances.

Days where cards are supposed to be sent can be very hard on people especially if you haven't got that person in your life anymore . I remember the first fathers day after my husband died . At college in general studies the teacher asked what the students where getting there dad . He asked my son he was still 16 at the time and said nothing . The teacher said that isn't nice why not . My shouted at him he xxxxxxx died in February and walked out. And came straight home .

I had told the college about his dad and that his behaviour might be a bit off. But he was fine until this happened. I told the college he wouldn't be going back to that class but would still sit the exam. And tell that teacher to keep his opinions to himself .

Unfortunately I don't get mother's day cards ,birthday or Christmas cards from my son and family since my birthday 2020 due to him deciding I am no longer his mom his choice I didn't see it coming . He did it 4 days after my birthday via email. I don't send them cards or presents after he sent his birthday card and that of his second who had the same birthday and birth presents for my new grandson back the day after their birthday all unopened and the babies presents crushed 3 months later .And a letter from him . Ended with zero contact . So that's what they have had . I will never let him hurt me like that again .

But I have a daughter and family so I do get cards and presents . The boys make their own cards. And I see them often . So I can't be the horrible mom ,mother in law and nannie my son and daughter in law make me out to be .

What always tickles me is cards you can get sent from cats and dogs . But then again pets are family and better than some blood relatives .

It seems that Valentine was a priest of the forbidden Christian cult in 3rd century Rome. He married young couples to help the men to avoid military service, thus making himself a symbol of love.

Allira

Oreo

We’ll all be holding hands and sing Kumbaya round the campfire in a minute.
There are loads of days that are non applicable to people as already said like Mothers Day and Christmas and so on.
That’s life.

😂😂😂

Oh and btw, you're not allowed Hot Cross buns until Good Friday!!
It's like eating Valentine's Day chocolates in January 😯

That’s me told!

I have just had two mini M & S hot cross buns with a strong cafe latte to take my tablets.

i miss my husband every day, but yes it is hard on Valentines day, and it has nothing to do with whatever the shops are trying to shove at me. We were a romantic couple and used to celebrate various special days , the day we met, our anniversaries of various things etc etc. He used to put a valentines message both in the local paper and in the Guardian, which was lovely to read and we used to see other messages every year that we recognised other nom de plumes and wondered where x and y had gone to. I still have these precious little scraps of paper that I can reread.
Have wonderful memories of all sorts of things, the picnic we took on a canal boat and sat looking at the stars miles away from people, the surprise trip to the coast and fish and chips eaten by the sea. The day I came out of a boring business meeting and turned the corner to find him sat there waiting for me , etc etc. So although it alway reminds me how much I miss him, it is also lovely to think of the times we spent together and that I wouldnt have missed for the world. I have a little card that he put with some flowers for me many years ago, and I have it with me in my wallet to just look at and think of him.Miss him but so glad he was in my life.

Oreo

We’ll all be holding hands and sing Kumbaya round the campfire in a minute.
There are loads of days that are non applicable to people as already said like Mothers Day and Christmas and so on.
That’s life.

😂😂😂

Oh and btw, you're not allowed Hot Cross buns until Good Friday!!
It's like eating Valentine's Day chocolates in January 😯

AreWeThereYet It is called FOMO, Fear Of Missing Out and it does seem to run rampant in younger people, these days.

Personally, I prefer it if I miss out, because I rarely wanted whatever it was in the first place.

I remember being made as a small child at school (in the 1960’s) to make a Father’s Day card when my father had died when I was 3 I remember being sent to the head master t be chastised for making a scene by crying 😢

My late DH and I exchanged Valentines cards before we married, but once we were married he didn’t bother, although I did.
I think next year I’ll buy myself some flowers!

Oreo.

I don't really understand why everyone has to be part of everything that happens or they feel excluded, or why they even worry about it.

I don't remember MrA and I moaning because all our friends celebrated Mothers Day and Fathers Day before we had our children were born - we just ignored it and got on with our own stuff.

grumppa that's a lovely thought ☺️MrA and I have been sending each other the same Christmas cards for over 40 years now. There are all sorts of messages written on them and when we get them out we always have a laugh reading them again.

I am not sure I have ever received a Valentines card. It has certainly never bothered me.

I have not married, have no children or relatives. However unlike TheWeirdoAgain59 I don’t ignore Valentines Day at all. I buy some lovely flowers, a good bottle of Champagne, box of chocolates and cook myself a gorgeous meal. I really enjoy it!

If you really loved people but they are no longer here Valentine Day , Mothers Day, Fathers Day etc. don’t really matter at all I don’t think. You just miss them some days seem worse but you certainly don’t need any special day to think of the more.