Lost in translation……..what’ s your funniest story?

My American raised DDIL was hoovering their house and was complaining to herself all the time eventually she said to my DS " this vacuum sucks " .

Family visit to family friends in France, 1980's: we were talking about why their store made jam was often so much nicer than ours,

so I said C'est notre preservativ"

Preservativ (sp) in French means a condom 😳

I moved to Isle of Wight when I was sixteen and made friends with a girl who invited me to a party so I could meet her other friends. It was good fun but we stayed out later than she was allowed.

The next day as we walked to the bus stop my friend muttered that her mum was alright but her dad was queer!!

This was the early sixties and I had no idea how to process this piece of information until she told me that in the local venacular, queer meant angry. 😂

I was mortified when asking a young Frenchwoman directions to the Louvre in Paris, she laughed uproariously, as did my teenage daughters who had learned French pronunciation but refused to come to my aid, all the French woman could say with a very strong French accent was ‘Pink Panther!’
I had apparently pronounced the Louvre every bit as stupidly as Sellers had in the Pink Panther films.
Of course this story is now repeated by the family at every opportunity.

Wyllow3

Family visit to family friends in France, 1980's: we were talking about why their store made jam was often so much nicer than ours,

so I said C'est notre preservativ"

Preservativ (sp) in French means a condom 😳

🫣😂

A former parish priest told us that, at seminary in Spain, he went into a shop, looking to buy braces. He in fact asked for a bra.

Apparently "Je suits plein" does not mean you've had plenty to eat thank you. I couldn't understand why the French family I stayed with all laughed when I said that.
It's a slang term for "I'm pregnant", apparently.

Autocorrect!!
"Je suis plein"

My husband's father came from an Italian family, but his mother wouldn't let him learn Italian (don't ask) This led to him making a classic mistake and asking for a latte with his breakfast. the waitress naturally brought him a glass of milk and I had to explain that he meant a cafe latte.

On the other hand we spent a very pleasant Easter Sunday chatting to a doctor from Milan who spoke very good English. We told him we would be going to bed early because we were going to drive across to Verona next day. He said weren't we worried about the marmalade? We stared at him - he stared at us - and then said "No I mean the jams don't I?" Easter Monday is a holiday in Italy too and the roads are very busy!

A Spanish family was standing on a station platform, trying to make sense of their guide book with little success. I was a teenager and had recently started learning Spanish, so I offered to help. I thought I had clearly explained what train they needed to catch and I did see them get on the right one. But then I realised that in my schoolgirl Spanish I had said, "Pick up the train and carry it to Victoria Station". I speak more fluent Spanish these days, although I am out of practice.

We had some American Air Force friends who told us that, when they were going to look at a house they hoped to buy in rural Norfolk, and he needed to use the toilet, they called in an isolated petrol station to get fuel. He said to the owner “do you have a bathroom I could use?” No said the owner, he didn’t have a bathroom. “Well a restroom then?” Said J. No, said the man, we haven’t got a restroom but there’s a sofa in the back if you want to lie down!

I remember also when we had a lovely German exchange student staying with us and I asked her, after one meal, whether she would like more to eat. “No thankyou,” she said. “I am fed up.”

Isn’t a plongeur also a washer up in a restaurant?
I believe George Orwell worked as a “plongeur” in Paris restaurant writing about it in Down and Out in Paris and London
🤣🤣

Plongeur, much prefer that to a washer up. I remember in France asking for directions and the policeman became very agitated and waved me and my sister off, never knew why.

Memories of a guide in Morocco who showed us two types of hens. The white ones were ordinary but the large brown ones were free lance.

At a station in London two young American women approached me looking worried and asked me what a toot was, that's how they pronounced it. I clearly was a bit mystified and they pointed to a sign saying beware of touts. They were worried as how could they beware if they didn't know what it was? I explained what a taxi tout was and that they needed to join the queue and wait for a proper black taxi. Before the days of Uber.

After a meal out in Spain our friend said to the waitress in carefully prepared Spanish that ‘his friend (my husband) would pay the bill’ unfortunately he said ‘my friend will hit you’. The manager was called 🤣🤣

My older brother's German exchange student was staying with us and when I told her the name of my rabbit she couldn't stop laughing.

The rabbit's name was Misty which is sh***y in German.

I was shopping once in my local town with my husband. I stopped to look in a shop window and a person stopped next to me to look in the shop window too. Thinking it was my husband, I took said person by the arm and cuddled up to them. Not feeling the right feeling, I looked in horror at a completely strange man who was laughing as was my husband standing behind on the pavement. Shock! Horror! Problem was we kept on bumping into him as we completed our shopping.

theworriedwell

At a station in London two young American women approached me looking worried and asked me what a toot was, that's how they pronounced it. I clearly was a bit mystified and they pointed to a sign saying beware of touts. They were worried as how could they beware if they didn't know what it was? I explained what a taxi tout was and that they needed to join the queue and wait for a proper black taxi. Before the days of Uber.

@#£%&@#£%&

This reminds me of Bill Bryson's story when he first arrived in England and stayed in a B&B where the landlady had put out a list of rules to be followed, one of which was to remove the counterpane before getting into bed. He had no idea what a counterpane was and no way of finding out.

In Carlisle we asked a policeman where we could go to the toilet. Behind there he said pointing to bushes.
The toilets were of course behind the bushes. We laughed.

On arriving in the Netherlands, 1960's, we had to present ourselves at the police station to register for work permits.
A plain clothes official was seated behind a large desk, a large form in front of him.
The official looked at my husband and asked, '*When were you buried?*'

At the vets with our very sick elderly cat, about to be put to sleep. We were upset. The vet who had a strong foreign accent asked if we wanted a coffee. We were grateful for her kindness but declined. She went off and we waited.
She came back with the cat in a coffin.(box).
I was about to say no sugar and a dash of milk.
Oh it made us laugh.

Many years ago I was working in an office who had employed an Australian girl who was temping. She was sweet but very quiet and shy, so we were all surprised when she came into the main office and asked if any of us had any durex. We all looked at her disbelievingly, and she nearly fainted when we told her what durex was in the uk. Apparently it’s sellotape in Australia.