Lost in translation……..what’ s your funniest story?

I offered to help my American son-in-law wash-up. Apparently wash-up means "take a shower" in America. After that he bought me an American/English dictionary.

My friend normally fluent in French went to the local Bricomarche to buy a ceiling fan. Once there she asked the assistant for an aspirateur ( vacuum cleaner) for the ceiling. He looked quite puzzled apparently.

I need to correct my tale up thread, we accepted the coffee offer, but got a ‘coffin’ instead. It really was funny at the time.

Not so much translation as a matter of pronunciation.
Many years ago before Murrayfield Rugby stadium had its "electric blanket" (to thaw out the pitch after a hard frost) they used to light braziers all around the ground before a big match.
One year Mum and I were, as usual, going to listen to an International on the radio when Bill McLaren announced that in order to thaw out the ground , they had positioned "burning brassières" all around the pitch.

When my daughter was small her speech was not very clear.
An elderly neighbour made items from wood. One day he came round with a gift for her as she told him she would love one.

He handed over a small wooden artists palette. She looked puzzled but thanked him and off he went. After a few attempts she got me to understand that what she had asked for was a wooden parrot. 😝

There is an old story about a gramophone record shop.
A customer rang the shop and asked if the shop could order a record of "Could I But Express in Song".

Weeks went by and the shop still had not been able to locate the record. Eventually someone from the shop rang the customer and told them that were unable to track down a record of Kodaly (pronounced Kodye) "Buttocks Pressing Song",

The one that amused my husband was a translation of the various functions of his new motorbike. The page explaining the gear change operation finished with the sentence - "A good motorcyclist, in traffic, always keeps two fingers at the ready." Advice my husband claims he followed many a time and oft.

A friend was on a school trip to France as a teenager. A group of French boys were heckling her and her friends so she shouted at them “Ferme ta mouche thinking it meant shut your mouth but she had actually said shut your fly!

When I was working and took a phone call for my boss, I told him it was from" Bench and Stressed".
Turns out she had said " Pensions Trust"
Perhaps my hearing was going sooner than I had realised!

I asked my American neighbour if she'd like to come to dinner.
Sorry hun ,she replied ,I'll have to give you a rain check on that one.
I had no idea what she meant.
Later , when she saw me I said that I was going on a trip.
When are you guys coming back ?
After a fortnight.
She looked blank.

My mother had a new boss - a warm hearted spontaneous Texan.
Being rather stiff lipped and British she wasn't used to familiarity.
She didn't like being called Doll or Doll face ,having her tea drinking mocked and having to call him Sam.
After a couple of days ,he told my mother to get off her fanny.
Mum finished her work and then , wrote out a formal letter of resignation .
The word had to be explained to her boss and to her and she was told to take a joke.

In Belgium , the waitress cleared the table and then decided to lift the tablecloth.
Excuse please , I make wind .

My grandma loved a bitter lemon. Favourite drink

We were in Tunisia many years ago and she requested a bitter lemon. Waiter looked a tad confused. Grandma decided if she spoke with more clarity he'd understand.

In the end the waiter came over with our drinks and a plate of lemon slices for Grandma.

We just smiled and thanked and she never ordered bitter lemon again on holiday.

My family spoke both french and English, we swapped language when we couldn’t remember the word.
One day I asked my elderly mother if she wanted a shepherd’s pie. She replied that she already had one. I was astonished as she hardly cooked at the time. Really? I said. Then she said, “J’ai un chapeau de paille”! She accepted my offer.

When I was a teenager, my parents said they would re-decorate my bedroom. This was duly done and my mother asked where I wanted the wardrobe.

I must have been thinking out loud and said something unrelated, (can't remember what) and my mother got annoyed.

She said "We're not talking about that; we're disgusting the wardrobe."

Aldom

On arriving in the Netherlands, 1960's, we had to present ourselves at the police station to register for work permits.
A plain clothes official was seated behind a large desk, a large form in front of him.
The official looked at my husband and asked, '*When were you buried?*'

This gave me a real laugh so thank you for that😂

Indigo8

My older brother's German exchange student was staying with us and when I told her the name of my rabbit she couldn't stop laughing.

The rabbit's name was Misty which is sh***y in German.

😂 probably an apt name tho.

I was staying with some French people once and as we had had a rather late night, nobody had washed up dinner. I was first up the next morning so I set to at the kitchen sink.

I heard the sound of applause behind me and as I turned round somebody yelled "Bravo la plongeuse". I believe this is the feminine form of plongeur.

Meeting someone new and confusing Introduire and présenter - introduire usually means to physically introduce something into something.
EU Parliament: Frozen semen - matelot surgélé
Il faut profiter de la sagesse Normande - we must all learn from Norman wisdom.

Allira - I had a similar experience staying with a French family - saying "je suis plein".
Before I arrived, my mother wrote to them, saying I was very sensible. When I got there, they explained that they were worried about how to deal with me - "sensible" in French means sensitive!

"a plongeur is a deep sea diver in France"
It's also a washer-up in a restaurant, I believe. The full term is "plongeur en restauration" (forgive me if I've got the spelling wrong).

We stayed with a colleague in her flat in East Berlin, soon after the wall came down. Rebuilding was going on everywhere.
"I'm sorry, but you will be woken very early by the buggers," she told us.
The German word for a digger is Bagger but it is pronounced as she said it!

Many years ago I was working in an office who had employed an Australian girl who was temping. She was sweet but very quiet and shy, so we were all surprised when she came into the main office and asked if any of us had any durex. We all looked at her disbelievingly, and she nearly fainted when we told her what durex was in the uk. Apparently it’s sellotape in Australia.

At the vets with our very sick elderly cat, about to be put to sleep. We were upset. The vet who had a strong foreign accent asked if we wanted a coffee. We were grateful for her kindness but declined. She went off and we waited.
She came back with the cat in a coffin.(box).
I was about to say no sugar and a dash of milk.
Oh it made us laugh.

On arriving in the Netherlands, 1960's, we had to present ourselves at the police station to register for work permits.
A plain clothes official was seated behind a large desk, a large form in front of him.
The official looked at my husband and asked, '*When were you buried?*'

In Carlisle we asked a policeman where we could go to the toilet. Behind there he said pointing to bushes.
The toilets were of course behind the bushes. We laughed.

theworriedwell

At a station in London two young American women approached me looking worried and asked me what a toot was, that's how they pronounced it. I clearly was a bit mystified and they pointed to a sign saying beware of touts. They were worried as how could they beware if they didn't know what it was? I explained what a taxi tout was and that they needed to join the queue and wait for a proper black taxi. Before the days of Uber.

@#£%&@#£%&

This reminds me of Bill Bryson's story when he first arrived in England and stayed in a B&B where the landlady had put out a list of rules to be followed, one of which was to remove the counterpane before getting into bed. He had no idea what a counterpane was and no way of finding out.