The phrase "get over it"

Yes, rude and dismissive.
Have never heard it used re personal tragedy.

M0nica

Stop wasting your own and others time going over and over something that has happened that you can do nothing about and get on with life

Proviso: I am NOT referring to those who have suffered lifes great tragedys, like loosing your nearest and dearest, life changing injuries etc.

My interpretation too.
Some people* do themselves no good at all *constantly revisiting a past they can't change.
That's the point.
Whether offensive or not depends on the context, tone used etc.

That was to Lathyrus3.

Give them both a God serenity notelet?
They may take more notice of something written down?

Lathyrus3 can't you be honest with them?

"I do love you and know how awful xyz was but please can we talk about abc today because I'm concerned about nop?

"I know you will never get over xyz because it was just too awful but I'm exhausted today and hoped we could set aside a little time to think about abc - would you mind?

I have a friend who "offloads" a lot do I listen for a while and then say "shall we chat about n now?"
They say. "Yes, that's quite enough of me now".

We are quite open.
Yesterday when she called I said I couldn't ring you because I was exhausted and knew you had been through a rough time. We laughed and both left the phone much happier.

Honesty (with kindness) is best.

Just out of interest what phrase would people use to end the everlasting monologue that some people have about their injustice/opinion/ life event.

When you don’t want to or can’t stop meeting with them but you just can’t go on hearing the same thing over and over again and offering sympathy.

In 50years I never had a conversation with my MiL that didn’t involve her “big operation” and I think I’ll have to stop seeing a friend who 24 years later is still bitter about her divorce and brings it in no matter what the topic.

I’m afraid get over it is exactly what I want to say - though I haven’t.

If someone said it to me I would consider them dismissive and unwilling to discuss whatever it is I'm telling them.

I don't know if anyone has ever said it to me! I'm struggling to think who would...

Rula

*Change what you can, accept what you can't, and be smart enough to know the difference"*

A more polite way. But I'm a great believer in it.

Are you saying that is more polite than "God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." ? It is put in a more modern way, and leaves God out of it, but I don't see that it is more polite. About the same politeness level, I'd say.

I agree “Get over it” is dismissive and being on the end of it can be quite hurtful and rude.

However I do think it can be a wake up call that at best you’re being tedious and at worst damaging yourself and alienating those around you.

I haven’t said it to anyone I think, though I’ve sometimes thought it, particularly when someone is determined to see everyday disappointment as a major tragedy that should not happen to them.

I do say it to myself when I’ve needed to stop my thinking in its tracks by re-living a bad time or, ashamedly, just sometimes when I can’t have what I want.

I do believe we have a choice. Either to let a bad happening define us for the rest of our lives or to consciously work at “getting over it” and living positively.

I say it to myself sometimes when I know I need to pull myself together, think more objectively and do something positive and constructive to make things better.

Ooh I like that Rula.

Change what you can, accept what you can't, and be smart enough to know the difference"

A more polite way. But I'm a great believer in it.

AGAA4

Get over it is dismissive and used to end discussion.

Yes, it’s a way of shutting you down. I think it’s very rude in any context.

I can only quote the Serenity prayer, "God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." although I can't pretend that I pray very often, if at all.

However, that prayer says nothing about discussing with others the things that can be changed and how they came to be so much in need of that change, or how any change might be achieved. It doesn't address whether, why or how to feel and express sympathy and support for those who can't easily change the circumstances they are suffering from, nor does it prevent anyone from being anxious about how their circumstances could so easily spread to others.

I, personally, would never say to someone, either on here or in my everyday life “get over it”, because frankly, I don’t think it’s a very useful expression and also, it’s somewhat blunt and unkind and sounds quite hurtful.
It’s much better, I think, to offer support to someone, listen, and, where possible offer advice to help them cope, deal with and possibly move on from the situation they are facing by encouragement. To tell them “to get over it” sounds unduly harsh.

Get over it is dismissive and used to end discussion.

It just means move on, forget it. It’s done and dusted. Maybe it has a different meaning here. It is a bit rude but better than get f%%%ed.

I have seen the phrase used on another thread as well today. As well as on other thread[s] in previous days.

We are being told to ‘get over it’ on another thread about Trump, by a US poster. Unfortunately there’s nothing we in the UK can do about the choice the US electorate have inflicted on the rest of the world.

Witzend

Barleyfields

My interpretation is ‘put up and shut up’. Somewhat rude.

Mine too, and I thoroughly dislike it.

Isn't the phrase 'Put up OR shut up"; ie either do something about it (put up) or stop merely talking about it (shut up).

Well, take an election. You vote and find out later that you made a mistake. Next time, you try and inform yourselves more and cut through the propaganda and the lies- and vote differently.

Same for mariage, I suppose.

Same for any political decision- especially if it turns out to have been interfered with from outside, based on lies and fraudulent propaganda, and turns out to be a disaster fot most, and the country as a whole. You fight- to change it! Or do you lie back and think of that perfect 'England' losing all its independence and Sovereinty to those who did the manipulation and interference and definitely do NOT have the best for your country at all.

I don’t see the connection with that scenario.
You always have the option
Try another example

But many things that have happened can be cured- that is the very point. Getting over it means allowing it to continue to cause so much damage.

If you were told to stop smoking, for instance, because it is killing you. Do you try and do everything to stop- or do you say- how well, might as well endure a slow painful death.

Stop wasting your own and others time going over and over something that has happened that you can do nothing about and get on with life

Fair point.
“What can’t be cured must be endured”

I agree 'get over it sounds rude'. It is not an expression I would ever use.