The phrase "get over it"

My interpretation is ‘put up and shut up’. Somewhat rude.

Of course we can all accept that something has happened. No choice there. The goady, very offensive and patronising bit, is the 'get over it'.

If something happens which is disastrous for oneself, or for the country, or most in the world- then 'get over it' is just nonsense.

Firstly, accepting that something has happened does not prevent you to analyse how and why it happened, and the flaws, and often sheer lies and even fraud, within.

And secondly, accepting something has happened does not prevent you from trying to change the situation, and even reverse it. Otherwise we would never have elections either.

Not to go on revisiting what ever has happened endlessly, whether in your own mind or in your interactions with others. I don’t mean the initial trying to sort it out in your own mind that I think is necessary when something traumatic happens.

You do need to talk to trusted people in that stage but there’s is a limit to how often you can expect people to listen to your operation or accident or even your bereavement.

After that, whenever you find yourself going down that road, whether it’s to others or just to yourself you make a conscious effort to direct your thoughts elsewhere and not relive the worst times of your life.

That’s what getting over it means to me.

Stop wasting your own and others time going over and over something that has happened that you can do nothing about and get on with life

Proviso: I am NOT referring to those who have suffered lifes great tragedys, like loosing your nearest and dearest, life changing injuries etc.

I think it is normally said perjoratively..and is not vey helpful

If my OH said ‘get over it’ if I was fixated on something trivial or vice versa, though we wouldn’t say it quite so bluntly, that is acceptable. But someone saying it in order to close down a conversation or debate is rude and unacceptable.

Barleyfields

My interpretation is ‘put up and shut up’. Somewhat rude.

That tends to be my interpretation, too. Particularly when it is used in political discussions.

If it's related to people who continually go over past traumas it's a completely pointless thing to say because they clearly can't 'get over it. It then just sounds unfeeling and hardnosed. Perhaps pointing them to counselling or support groups would be more helpful.

I find myself saying it in my mind when revisiting events that have happened in the past, which in the majority I had no control over.

Family situations involving family members who are long dead. Often in the small hours when everything and every situation is heightened.

It is used within the family in jest, never taken seriously.

Barleyfields

My interpretation is ‘put up and shut up’. Somewhat rude.

Yes, that tends to be my interpretation of it too. Not usually meant in the nicest of ways either.

"get over it" is just rude.

If someone says this they are usually dismissive of someone else's hurt feelings.
The only time I don't think this is the intention is if someone says "I know this is truly awful/a terrible shock/ a massive and unexpected trauma" BUT "unfortunately sometimes we just have to try to "get over it".
Those people often then try to offer ways that might help with the "getting over".

*
As an aside..
My trauma is mine it makes me who I am. It formed me. I am the strong, empathetic, determined person I am because of it. I don't usually talk about it. I embrace it. I don't want to "get over it"!

Get over it is too blunt. I prefer to "move on" from whatever negative experience I have had. It is a much more positive expression.

“Get over it”……. Or shut up I have no empathy.

It’s the same thing.

Get over it to me is dismissive and yes, rather rude.

Barleyfields

My interpretation is ‘put up and shut up’. Somewhat rude.

Mine too, and I thoroughly dislike it.

AGAA4

Get over it is too blunt. I prefer to "move on" from whatever negative experience I have had. It is a much more positive expression.

Would others find that just as rude?

Claremont

Of course we can all accept that something has happened. No choice there. The goady, very offensive and patronising bit, is the 'get over it'.

If something happens which is disastrous for oneself, or for the country, or most in the world- then 'get over it' is just nonsense.

Firstly, accepting that something has happened does not prevent you to analyse how and why it happened, and the flaws, and often sheer lies and even fraud, within.

And secondly, accepting something has happened does not prevent you from trying to change the situation, and even reverse it. Otherwise we would never have elections either.

I agree

NotSpaghetti

"get over it" is just rude.

If someone says this they are usually dismissive of someone else's hurt feelings.
The only time I don't think this is the intention is if someone says "I know this is truly awful/a terrible shock/ a massive and unexpected trauma" BUT "unfortunately sometimes we just have to try to "get over it".
Those people often then try to offer ways that might help with the "getting over".

*
As an aside..
My trauma is mine it makes me who I am. It formed me. I am the strong, empathetic, determined person I am because of it. I don't usually talk about it. I embrace it. I don't want to "get over it"!

M0nica

Stop wasting your own and others time going over and over something that has happened that you can do nothing about and get on with life

Proviso: I am NOT referring to those who have suffered lifes great tragedys, like loosing your nearest and dearest, life changing injuries etc.

That is more my intrepretation too.

Perhaps there are @two camps@[that should be speech marks, my keyboard sometimes throws this particular wobbly]

This intrepretation and the one where people mean it rudely.

I agree 'get over it sounds rude'. It is not an expression I would ever use.

Stop wasting your own and others time going over and over something that has happened that you can do nothing about and get on with life

Fair point.
“What can’t be cured must be endured”

But many things that have happened can be cured- that is the very point. Getting over it means allowing it to continue to cause so much damage.

If you were told to stop smoking, for instance, because it is killing you. Do you try and do everything to stop- or do you say- how well, might as well endure a slow painful death.

I don’t see the connection with that scenario.
You always have the option
Try another example

Well, take an election. You vote and find out later that you made a mistake. Next time, you try and inform yourselves more and cut through the propaganda and the lies- and vote differently.

Same for mariage, I suppose.

Same for any political decision- especially if it turns out to have been interfered with from outside, based on lies and fraudulent propaganda, and turns out to be a disaster fot most, and the country as a whole. You fight- to change it! Or do you lie back and think of that perfect 'England' losing all its independence and Sovereinty to those who did the manipulation and interference and definitely do NOT have the best for your country at all.

Witzend

Barleyfields

My interpretation is ‘put up and shut up’. Somewhat rude.

Mine too, and I thoroughly dislike it.

Isn't the phrase 'Put up OR shut up"; ie either do something about it (put up) or stop merely talking about it (shut up).