Dating and boring blokes.

I know just one couple who met on the net and are happy .
I know many women who've had negative experiences .

I've known some very happy couples who met via the internet. It does work for some people.
I have been widowed for a long time and my DD was only 12 when her dad died. I just wanted to give all my attention to her and by the time she left to go to university I realised I was too set in my ways and happy to be on my own.

Met DH2 via online dating. I was 61, he 63. We married 3 years later.

But I did have a lot of first and last dates beforehand!

I tried online dating for a bit after my divorce but I was not impressed. Eventually I gave up and joined a friendship website.

Chatting to lovely people around the globe (I didn't set the criteria to local), I ended up with my now husband.🙂

Good luck.

I'm in my late 60's, never married or had kids. Did try Internet dating a few times in my 30's, the women seemed to hop into your area for a while, then it showed they really lived the other side of the world, most use fakery or are never updated, so scam not worth paying for. I'm fairly happy being on my own, don't socialise, & not looking for a partner.

Caro41

I’m married and all that and it’s been ok but why, I ask myself,
the fascination with men ? After several years with a man , which may or may not have been all it’s cracked up to be, why do women want to start on another set of underpants ?
Women are great company too you know !

I’m afraid it had a lot to do with the underpants😳

I think if I was ‘talked at’ for an hour I’d have left, you were too polite to sit through an hour and a half!

I’m married and all that and it’s been ok but why, I ask myself,
the fascination with men ? After several years with a man , which may or may not have been all it’s cracked up to be, why do women want to start on another set of underpants ?
Women are great company too you know !

When I read the OP, I pictured some guy out there saying, "That last date was so boring. I had to carry the whole conversation while she just sat there."

And then, some people babble on when they're nervous and want to make a good impression, etc.

I think a first date is only a glimpse. Perhaps you are being a bit too quick to write these guys off?

Paperbackwriter

CSF - research has shown the opposite from what you are saying. It turns out that those who've had a happy marriage are OK with seeing if they can have another one. It's those who were very unhappy in their relationships who are more reluctant to give it another go.

Probably true with men, there are many divorcees on dating sites, presumably they didn’t have happy marriages. Widows do have more lingering attachments.

CSF - research has shown the opposite from what you are saying. It turns out that those who've had a happy marriage are OK with seeing if they can have another one. It's those who were very unhappy in their relationships who are more reluctant to give it another go.

Same as BlueBelle and crazyH

When I was dating 5 yrs ago I did meet 4 ladies online but nothing clicked, there was no chemistry. Then I asked a local single acquaintance for a date, that clicked straight away, it was clear our values, likes and dislikes matched.

There are many more women on dating sites than men, the best prospects get taken quickly, a lot will be shy so you do need to ask them about their interests and lifestyle. If you have a good prospect online phone them and have a chat. If all good meet for a coffee, they travel to meet you.

A while online chat and an hour for a coffee that’s all it takes, I found most wanted to meet quickly - within a week, a couple recently single, one had been single 27yrs

Platonic!

In my opinion and although a generalisation, yes it's a bloke thing. I know and speak with a lot of women about this who think the same.
My own experience of dating and relationships is that the questions of depth [beyond how are you plus closed questions such as where were you?!] are pretty limited. I am 55, have been married and had relationships until about a year ago. I am happiest single with a male plutonic friend. An yes, his questioning skills are limited!

Not slating you CSF, but I think that’s a bit unkind.

I loved my husband very much and just wanted to die when he did. We were very happy together.

I never remarried but did have a loving and happy relationship again.

I wasn’t at all the same person as I was before and my second “person” was quite different to my husband. So perfection both times 🙂

Thoro

I've actually had good experience of online dating. I lost my first husband of 30 years many years ago.
I tried online dating and married the second person I connected with.
Sadly after 20 further years of marriage he also died.
I'm quite happily living alone but wondered what the online market looked like for much older people and found someone who has become a friend. There is no spark of romance that I had with my previous partners but I wasn't looking for that, but we have a lot in common and enjoy outings together.

I think this is lovely, and just how it should be.

Allsorts

I have never been tempted, too late now. I had a lovely husband, he was my best friend too. It would not feel right being with anyone else. I do get lonely but that's preferable to
internet dating.

You are a woman after my own heart, Allsorts. Like you, I adored my late husband and he was my best friend too, so I can’t possibly imagine life with anyone else. It’s hard to improve on perfection! (Ok, he had the odd fault, but who doesn’t? To me, he was perfect).
That said, I would never dream of criticising anyone who feels they could have a meaningful relationship with someone else, after losing a spouse, but it’s not for me.
I will get slated for this, but I wonder if people who date/marry again actually had a really good relationships in the first place. I may be way off-beam here, but I have a fiend who had a marriage that didn’t make her happy and after his death, she started going out with another man.
Five years after my husband’s death, I can’t even imagine getting close to anyone else. If others can, good luck to them. It’s just not something I could do.

I've actually had good experience of online dating. I lost my first husband of 30 years many years ago.
I tried online dating and married the second person I connected with.
Sadly after 20 further years of marriage he also died.
I'm quite happily living alone but wondered what the online market looked like for much older people and found someone who has become a friend. There is no spark of romance that I had with my previous partners but I wasn't looking for that, but we have a lot in common and enjoy outings together.

I found Internet dating hugely disappointing .
A friend introduced me to a guy and he turned put to be alcoholic and extremely bad tempered.
After he assaulted me in a restaurant I gave him the heave ho .
Recently a guy asked me out within minutes of meeting him I was bored to tears with his childhood ,relationships and health problems .
I looked him up and he's actually dishonest as well .
I haven't pursued it .

I agree with Truffle. You’re more likely to find someone interesting if you have a shared interest/experience.

Internet dating is so random.

I do think men are more likely to tell you things than ask about anything. But I know plenty of women like that too.

I wouldn’t try online dating again if you paid me. But I did meet some really nice men through it in my fifties. Now at 67, I have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship and am very happily single.
Maybe if I met someone in day to day life I’d consider it. But I’d go very very slowly and I wouldn’t be prepared to compromise. I have a wide social circle so am not short of company.

If you met someone who ticked all the boxes except being an interesting conversationalist, it might be worth giving it a go and filling that gap with other friends in your life.
Our varied friends can fill different needs. One of my friends is very amusing, one gives practical help and yes, I have one who doesn’t ask questions but our interests are very similar.

Oh mumski, I've just seen your post, it sounds as though you were on a a date with my DH!
He has the conversational skill of a dead otter alas!. 😚

Babs03 I understand what you are saying. However, part of my job is to talk to people and try and have a conversation with them in stressful circumstances. I had several goes at interjecting my thoughts, but he just ignored them and carried on taking about himself.

I think part of the problem is , I was married the second time to a wonderful, kind and generous man, who just died too early. He would have never been so rude.
I guess I just need to press on.