Dating and boring blokes.

You’re probably better off joining a social group like odd fellows or U3a. There are a mix of people with varied interests you may meet someone with shared interests.

I have never been tempted, too late now. I had a lovely husband, he was my best friend too. It would not feel right being with anyone else. I do get lonely but that's preferable to
internet dating.

It's 15 years since I did any on-line dating. It wasn't so common then but I did find out men lie about the height and women lie about their weight!

I did meet someone I was with for eight years but it all ended in tears... he was incredibly boring too!

How irritating, but I don’t think that only talking about themselves applies to all men.
Like most women you probably politely let the man talk without interrupting. Change tack, when next on a date try to dictate the narrative by talking about yourself but pausing to let the man join in when relating to what you have said, or ask him a question about himself before moving on.
I hope you have more luck soon.

I met my second husband through online dating , 17 years ago. I had a few disasters, until we met . My advice would be , don't give up , know exactly the sort of man you would like to meet. Try a site that you need to pay for , the free ones are just guys looking for sex.

They aren’t necessarily boring blokes though, are they? Just self-centred types who haven’t mastered the art of conversation. A lot of women are like this too.

I have several Platonic male friends whom I met through just going to places where men happen to be, social clubs and interest groups. When we meet up, our conversations tend to be about what’s going on in the world or we chat about shared interests. They don’t talk much about themselves or ask me much about my life and that’s fine.

If you are looking for a long-term partner then just accept that anyone who isn’t interested in you, isn’t the right one.

On the other side of the coin, beware of men who claim to enjoy the same activities you do or to have had similar experiences to make it appear as if you have a lot in common. It’s called mirroring. Yes, I also love novels by xxx or music by xxx. Ask them to name something by xxx and they have a sudden attack of amnesia!

A friend of mine in similar circumstances said “She had to kiss a lot of frogs before she met a prince “

I gave up on men when I was in my fifties ( I d had more than my share of the good bad and ugly) then realised I really didn’t need a man to define my happiness and haven’t wanted to since, although I ve had some tryers but sorry guys, no longer interested

Same as BlueBelle

Babs03 I understand what you are saying. However, part of my job is to talk to people and try and have a conversation with them in stressful circumstances. I had several goes at interjecting my thoughts, but he just ignored them and carried on taking about himself.

I think part of the problem is , I was married the second time to a wonderful, kind and generous man, who just died too early. He would have never been so rude.
I guess I just need to press on.

Oh mumski, I've just seen your post, it sounds as though you were on a a date with my DH!
He has the conversational skill of a dead otter alas!. 😚

If you met someone who ticked all the boxes except being an interesting conversationalist, it might be worth giving it a go and filling that gap with other friends in your life.
Our varied friends can fill different needs. One of my friends is very amusing, one gives practical help and yes, I have one who doesn’t ask questions but our interests are very similar.

I wouldn’t try online dating again if you paid me. But I did meet some really nice men through it in my fifties. Now at 67, I have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship and am very happily single.
Maybe if I met someone in day to day life I’d consider it. But I’d go very very slowly and I wouldn’t be prepared to compromise. I have a wide social circle so am not short of company.

I agree with Truffle. You’re more likely to find someone interesting if you have a shared interest/experience.

Internet dating is so random.

I do think men are more likely to tell you things than ask about anything. But I know plenty of women like that too.

I found Internet dating hugely disappointing .
A friend introduced me to a guy and he turned put to be alcoholic and extremely bad tempered.
After he assaulted me in a restaurant I gave him the heave ho .
Recently a guy asked me out within minutes of meeting him I was bored to tears with his childhood ,relationships and health problems .
I looked him up and he's actually dishonest as well .
I haven't pursued it .

I've actually had good experience of online dating. I lost my first husband of 30 years many years ago.
I tried online dating and married the second person I connected with.
Sadly after 20 further years of marriage he also died.
I'm quite happily living alone but wondered what the online market looked like for much older people and found someone who has become a friend. There is no spark of romance that I had with my previous partners but I wasn't looking for that, but we have a lot in common and enjoy outings together.

Allsorts

I have never been tempted, too late now. I had a lovely husband, he was my best friend too. It would not feel right being with anyone else. I do get lonely but that's preferable to
internet dating.

You are a woman after my own heart, Allsorts. Like you, I adored my late husband and he was my best friend too, so I can’t possibly imagine life with anyone else. It’s hard to improve on perfection! (Ok, he had the odd fault, but who doesn’t? To me, he was perfect).
That said, I would never dream of criticising anyone who feels they could have a meaningful relationship with someone else, after losing a spouse, but it’s not for me.
I will get slated for this, but I wonder if people who date/marry again actually had a really good relationships in the first place. I may be way off-beam here, but I have a fiend who had a marriage that didn’t make her happy and after his death, she started going out with another man.
Five years after my husband’s death, I can’t even imagine getting close to anyone else. If others can, good luck to them. It’s just not something I could do.

Thoro

I've actually had good experience of online dating. I lost my first husband of 30 years many years ago.
I tried online dating and married the second person I connected with.
Sadly after 20 further years of marriage he also died.
I'm quite happily living alone but wondered what the online market looked like for much older people and found someone who has become a friend. There is no spark of romance that I had with my previous partners but I wasn't looking for that, but we have a lot in common and enjoy outings together.

I think this is lovely, and just how it should be.

Not slating you CSF, but I think that’s a bit unkind.

I loved my husband very much and just wanted to die when he did. We were very happy together.

I never remarried but did have a loving and happy relationship again.

I wasn’t at all the same person as I was before and my second “person” was quite different to my husband. So perfection both times 🙂

In my opinion and although a generalisation, yes it's a bloke thing. I know and speak with a lot of women about this who think the same.
My own experience of dating and relationships is that the questions of depth [beyond how are you plus closed questions such as where were you?!] are pretty limited. I am 55, have been married and had relationships until about a year ago. I am happiest single with a male plutonic friend. An yes, his questioning skills are limited!

Platonic!

When I was dating 5 yrs ago I did meet 4 ladies online but nothing clicked, there was no chemistry. Then I asked a local single acquaintance for a date, that clicked straight away, it was clear our values, likes and dislikes matched.

There are many more women on dating sites than men, the best prospects get taken quickly, a lot will be shy so you do need to ask them about their interests and lifestyle. If you have a good prospect online phone them and have a chat. If all good meet for a coffee, they travel to meet you.

A while online chat and an hour for a coffee that’s all it takes, I found most wanted to meet quickly - within a week, a couple recently single, one had been single 27yrs

Same as BlueBelle and crazyH

CSF - research has shown the opposite from what you are saying. It turns out that those who've had a happy marriage are OK with seeing if they can have another one. It's those who were very unhappy in their relationships who are more reluctant to give it another go.