To Have Or Not To Have Children

I had been married quite a long time before I had children, partly because we delayed for financial reasons and partly because it took a while before I conceived the first time.

I never discussed it with my immediate family or close friends but several acquaintances and work colleagues assumed that I had chosen to be child free. Several people thought it was a good thing as I obviously wasn't the maternal type and others thought it was selfish of me to not want children. I had not wanted to discuss my childlessness with any of these people let alone asked for their opinions. I still don't understand why they thought I had to defend my perceived position.

I don't think there is such a stigma attached to choosing to be childless as society is generally more tolerant of people who don't tread the well worn path of conventional behaviour. Also we are more aware of the fragility of the world than previous generations have been.

IMO nobody should have to justify having or not having children to anybody.

AGAA4

The choice to have or not have children is for the parents only. It has nothing to do with anyone else and they shouldn't have to give reasons.

Absolutely. No-one should have to justify their reasons to anyone. My daughter's always been adamant that she didn't want to have children, and very open about it. Didn't stop people asking when she was going to have babies though, especially after she got married last summer. Many women aren't particularly maternal. I'm not.

I admire people who decide they won’t have children, for whatever reason. Children should be wanted. How many are not and have a miserable life?

I wanted children more than anything in the world.

I agree Judy54.
A person I used to work with, decades ago, didnt want them.
Her choice.
She used to bring it up from time to time. I used to think she didnt need to. We all understood. It wasnt a big deal.

I’m more concerned for all the parents that give it almost zero consideration and keep popping them out.

Well fancythat how about some Women do not have a Maternal instinct, rare I know but definitely a good enough reason not to have them. Simply not wanting to have Children is a good enough reason, no explanations necessary.

Nobody’s business I certainly wouldn’t feel the need to explain if I hadn’t of wanted children

Of the ones I know -
Some feel they dont have time
Some feel they would rather prioritise a house
Some feel there are enough kids around already

Or a combination of the above.

Nobody has to give a reason why they had children so those that choose not to have them should be afforded the same courtesy.

Better to regret not having had children later than to regret having had them now?

Our eldest daughter and her husband made a decision not to.
She’s not far off 50 now.
No regrets.

I know childless couples who are very happy with their decision not to have had children. If you are both in agreement
its up to you, Every child should be a wanted one. Its no one else's business.

It’s a personal decision but I always wonder how many have decided not to have children and then regretted their decision when it’s too late.

I'm in total agreement with the woman who said she's fed up having to give reasons for her decision.

The choice to have or not have children is for the parents only. It has nothing to do with anyone else and they shouldn't have to give reasons.