The Ideal Present

Maw, looking forward to our next lunch out in MK, week after next I think?.....

RosieandherMaw

My closest friend asked me last week if I would prefer to be taken out to lunch or have a birthday present.
We went out to lunch and spent a happy three hours(!) putting the world to rights.
Presence not presents!

I love doing that, lunch and putting the world to rights😂 makes you go home in a golden glow.
It’s the ideal present, that or afternoon tea out somewhere tho I do like gifts of flowers as well.

Birthdays, we typically invite family or friends round for a nice meal. There are no decent restaurants near. Nice to catch up in a lovely quiet place.

My generous son bought me a monthly flower delivery from a local florist so a regular treat to delight the soul. Best present ever!

I hadn’t done birthday presents for a niece I rarely see anyway for ages, but for her 50th I sent an M&S voucher, since I knew she had one nearby. At least you can always buy food, wine or knickers from M&S!
Probably since so unexpected it went down very well - at least it prompted the first thank you note I think I’d ever had from her!

I'm with you FGT . Apart from experiences, I enjoy gifts of nice soap/ bath products/candles, as they make a treat out of an ordinary day.
One of my friends loves L'Occitane, too.
Or, best of all - a book token..
At Christmas, my children buy me a charity donation. I have helped to sponsor midwives, teachers, and medics.

The friends I buy gifts for are very familiar to me and I’m aware of their likes and dislikes.
It’s usually a light lunch at a local garden centre then either plant/flowers, chocolates, candles, wine/Prosecco - or a mixture of the aforementioned!

My son, for many years, has given money in my name to Practical Action, a charity I have supported through several name changes. He knows I don't want the sort of things his wife might choose for a m-i-l, and this suits us both.

A magazine subscription is useful......they can also be recycled countless times once the recipient has finished with them.

We bought a friend who was celebrating his 80th birthday a garden centre voucher and tucked it in his card. He and his wife had downsized 2 months ago and had mentioned’getting to grips’ with their new small garden.

I like to buy soaps for my female friends. A luxury treat I think. Usually L’Occitane. Last month in duty free at the airport I saw bars of Chanel soap for sale but at £25 a pop they were too expensive for my funds. When I returned to sit with Himself at the bar (and finish my wine) I was telling him about the exorbitant price. Later it was his ‘turn’ to have a wander (one of us minds the coats and the grip bag). Upon his return he’d apparently tried to buy me said soap (glad he couldn’t as I still thought it was too profligate for me) …. at the Jo Malone counter, confusing the sales staff most probably ha!

I've not had a problem with food (or soap) gifts - except honey, to be honest and that was because they had just brought several pots of a friend's honey back from being away!

If I'm gifting small things I'd still probably do foody treats. Obviously not cheese or "difficult" foods if I didn't know about their diet.

If you are gifting to several people who seem to have everything maybe you go out a lot but I couldn't be doing afternoon tea or lunch on a regular basis and would reserve outings for "special" friends.

I don't think there is an ideal present, unless you know what the recipient would like. I've asked a close friend to stop doing gifts but she still buys garden tokens for me. These days my garden is full and I really don't need stuff from garden centres. I don't want or need 'things' and nor does my friend. I've suggested we each buy ourselves something we require at Christmas and birthdays and count whatever we buy as being our gifts to each other. But that suggestion was ignored.
If friends or family are nearby then the gift of a meal or coffee and cake is very acceptable, as others have said.

I like book or garden tokens. I buy something similar for friends and family, unless I know they’d like something specific.

NotSpaghetti

I always love a truly quality bar of soap and have bought soaps for others.

Foody treats also go down well. A few great cheeses, or a panettone or olives for example.

But with different allergies and intolerances, who knows what others can eat, even if they used to be able to eat said foods?

Food seems to be a minefield now.

I always love a truly quality bar of soap and have bought soaps for others.

Foody treats also go down well. A few great cheeses, or a panettone or olives for example.

Definitely Calendar girl. I have assorted bags of stuff ready for the charity shop and every ornament in it was given to me. They are not to my taste and I didn't ask for them. I always say thank you though because I have manners, but inside I'm groaning.

Grandmabatty

I prefer experiences rather than stuff. Family get me what I ask for usually, ie air fryer, plants for the garden etc. Friends, and one in particular, will insist on buying me ornaments despite me telling them not to. I'm not a fan and usually recycle them

Exactly.

What is the point? Charity shops will be the beneficiaries.

I prefer experiences rather than stuff. Family get me what I ask for usually, ie air fryer, plants for the garden etc. Friends, and one in particular, will insist on buying me ornaments despite me telling them not to. I'm not a fan and usually recycle them

P.S.

You can still go out for coffee and cake or to a GC, just no fuss about it being for a birthday,

If it’s friends, I would agree not to buy for them and them not to buy for me.

Sorted.

We all waste time, money and effort buying and choosing stuff that most of us neither want nor need.

It’s liberating for both parties if it stops.

Ditto Christmas presents.

My closest friend asked me last week if I would prefer to be taken out to lunch or have a birthday present.
We went out to lunch and spent a happy three hours(!) putting the world to rights.
Presence not presents!