Has retirement turned out as you expected it to

19 years ago we did what so many our age talk about….. sold up in Worcestershire and went to live in the sun in Cyprus! We had 5 glorious years until DH had a massive stroke. Eventually back to UK minus a lot of our savings to fly him Medicair to live with DD in Wales. Eleven years later, I had same stroke. At 77 our lives are totally upside down with no resemblance to our retirement plans. We love life near our daughters in a wonderful community minded village and no regrets that we lived abroad. Just deep regrets health wise.

I wasn't sure what too expect from retirement. I worked part time as a TA until I was 72, in a school so I got the school holidays. We moved to be nearer our daughter but I don't see her as much as I thought I would, but she is there if I need her. I miss the company of work but it is nice not to get up so early in the morning exspecially when it is dark and icy. I am at present waiting for a hip replacement and at times my hip is very painful. There is plenty to do where we have moved to U3A, WI, Seniors Club and a gardening club. Unfortunately I can't walk very far because of the arthritis in my hip. I also have age related macular degeneration. Holidays are off until I am more mobile. I have also lost my sister recently and someone else I knew . No, I don't like getting old but there is not much we can do about it.

Crossstitchfan

Franbern

I retired from my paid work with the NHS a few months before my 70th birthday. Took me a further year to fully retire from the voluntary roles I did as Assessor/tutor with a sports governing body/.

I prepared carefully for my retirement. Attended talks on this matter, looked up local interest groups. I was sure it would work out fine.

Took me two years to admit I was not happy. Bored - even though was doing a couple of volunteer things. Met lots of people, but nothing more than just meeting with them at meetings.

Returned to sport governing body in a new role which took quite a lot of time.

Health problems did not help, particularly the ones seriously effecting my mobility

Then nearly ten years after that first retirement I moved 150 miles away from anything and everybody I knew. Hardly settled into new flat in new town when Covid hit. Thank goodness had daughter living in that town, and used to meet up with her and her youngest every day for a walk and chat in the local park or along the beach.
Had joined local u3a just before lockdown and some groups continued on zoom.

As we came out of lockdowns I made a serious attempt at proper retirement, and did not have any expectations as to how it would go this time.

Has been excellent. Still struggled to make close friends, but lots of aquaintances and work on committees keep me happily and well occupied.

I am now thoroughly enjoying myself most of the time.

I’m confused! You said you moved to a town where you knew nobody, but then said you were glad your daughter lived there. ???

I think she actually said she moved away from everybody she knew.

I retired a few years ago and my DH more recently. We are enjoying the freedom of not having to be tied by the work treadmill but both miss the company of our colleagues although we do see them sometimes or have chats online to keep up with any gossip.
My DH has started going swimming to keep fit and I enjoy running and did the couch to 5 k not so long ago but have let it lapse a bit so plan to start up again soon.
We both love gardening and now the weather is picking up will be spending a lot of our time doing that. DH is a carpenter and was persuaded by his old boss to go back to work last summer to help them out as they were so busy, I don’t think he’ll ever truly retire in his line of work!
We have just become grandparents quite recently which has been wonderful so lots of my time spent knitting! Babysitting maybe not so easy as we are 2 hours away which I’m a bit sad about.
I did do some volunteering which was enjoyable but when I see some of our retired neighbours joining a myriad of local groups and social meet-ups I think I should be doing that too but we are all different and I just seem to enjoy pottering along doing my own thing but can’t help feeling I should be doing more sometimes? We must all enjoy our retirement in our own way ,whatever makes us happy.

Of course it is invariably not what one expects. All those dreams then "bang". Health issues etc do intervene.
All I can say is that despite everything I am happy. Live in a beautiful part of the country, visitors on a regular basis and although I know cancer will be the end in my case I enjoy every day. Chin up and smell , not the coffee, the roses !

No, and yes. DH retired fairly early and from being fun & my best friend turned into someone whose company I wanted to avoid. Once I retired he booked holidays to SE Asia because he liked it there, then decided to teach English as a foreign language. This, I thought, would have been in Spain where we have a holiday home, but he decided to do the course in Thailand - and then decided to take a job there. Well, the writing was on the wall and DH is now DXH, & lives with his little Thai w****e. It broke my heart and our children’s hearts. We had been very, very close & he’d been a wonderful father & husband. That was about 12 years ago. I’m free to live my life my way and thoroughly enjoy it. We somehow stayed on good terms & he comes over to visit most years ( without her). I’m happy. I don’t think he is. He despises things like the U3A whereas I get so much from it, doing things I couldn’t have done with him. Diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago and for his sake I’m glad he won’t have to be with me for the later stages, but meanwhile I look forward to the rest of my retirement.

This thread is an eye opener. So many of you are struggling with ill health or poorly husbands and worse.
I don’t know what I expected from retirement, but it’s turning out okay. When I turned 60 my mum became even more frail bless her, the next five years were hard mentally and physically, I was working part time DH retired thankfully. We were looking after DGC too, I retired at 66, now 67.
Now mums passed away everyone keeps saying get yourselves off somewhere, now is your time. But I’m quite surprised to find I’m really not that bothered anymore, I’m content, and that feeling is magical.
DH on the other hand is having a few health problems lately and can’t wait to get away. So after reading this thread I’ll be booking a couple of holidays.
Hope all of you with problems can overcome them and get the most out of your retirement you’ve certainly earned it .

I really enjoy being retired, I gave up work last October, 22 days short of my 25 anniversary of working for the company. I had loved my time and enjoyed my work up until Covid lockdown and we had to work from home. Home no longer felt like my refuge from the work, but I persevered until I started to dread signing onto to my laptop. I missed the people I worked with, but having time with my family has been the best reward. My DH retired from the police in 2016 and started working for a friend the next day, he did this until October 2019 when his friend closed the company, Dh had 4 months at home, and after completing some diy tasks was bored, so found another job, which he enjoys as it’s a zero hours contract and if he doesn’t feel liking working he tells the company he’s unavailable, which doesn’t happen often. He plans to work for another few years as he doesn’t get his state pension until 2027, but I’m not convinced he’ll give up work when that happens. He’ll just moan about the tax man 😂😂

Franbern

I retired from my paid work with the NHS a few months before my 70th birthday. Took me a further year to fully retire from the voluntary roles I did as Assessor/tutor with a sports governing body/.

I prepared carefully for my retirement. Attended talks on this matter, looked up local interest groups. I was sure it would work out fine.

Took me two years to admit I was not happy. Bored - even though was doing a couple of volunteer things. Met lots of people, but nothing more than just meeting with them at meetings.

Returned to sport governing body in a new role which took quite a lot of time.

Health problems did not help, particularly the ones seriously effecting my mobility

Then nearly ten years after that first retirement I moved 150 miles away from anything and everybody I knew. Hardly settled into new flat in new town when Covid hit. Thank goodness had daughter living in that town, and used to meet up with her and her youngest every day for a walk and chat in the local park or along the beach.
Had joined local u3a just before lockdown and some groups continued on zoom.

As we came out of lockdowns I made a serious attempt at proper retirement, and did not have any expectations as to how it would go this time.

Has been excellent. Still struggled to make close friends, but lots of aquaintances and work on committees keep me happily and well occupied.

I am now thoroughly enjoying myself most of the time.

I’m confused! You said you moved to a town where you knew nobody, but then said you were glad your daughter lived there. ???

Getting a carers assessment may help you get support so you can look after your own health and wellbeing, I’m talking as a carer myself. Practicle things like direct payments, carers breaks, tuck in service all make life more pleasant.

My ‘best laid plans’ did indeed ‘gang agley’! I got State Pension, then switched to part time working, planning to ease myself into full retirement, when the Bodach and I were going to do so much. I was then forced to retire on health grounds. This was 10 years ago, and the health problems are ongoing, and the Bodach died five years ago.
So, I say to you all, do things now, don’t put them off .

Yes and no, it started well, but I had not expected DH to die barely four years after retiring. So now I am looking at the rest of my retirement on my own.

Not quite sure, what I shall do about that.

I know how those of you who have either lost your husbands, or are nursing one in poor health feel. Do please look after yourselves.

Mine has been rather as I expected, a happy mix of volunteering, childcare and travelling.
However, I am acutely aware of the fact that ill health can derail this in a moment. I have seen this happen to friends and family.
Heartfelt best wishes to any GNetters in this situation.

My husband retired during Covid. He really struggled for the first 6 months or so. He had a close friendship group at work and feared they would lose touch. However, they all retired at similar times and gradually they all got back in touch. There’s now about 15 or so old blokes who have a great time, and once a year about 8 of them (including my husband) go away to Benidorm for a week! I retired a year or so later, and together we have a fairly good life. We’re comfortably off and can manage a few holidays a year and weekends away etc. I have a group of friends that I try and see regularly and I enjoy spending more time with my family.
I have 3 years to my state pension so I do work about 4 shifts a month when it’s convenient at my old place of work. I get paid reasonably well and I enjoy catching up with my colleagues and mostly enjoy my job.
We have lots of family probs at the moment so our life is not perfect, and ill health keeps knocking on the door, so I try not to take the good times for granted.
My heart goes out to those who are struggling. 💐 Life can turn on a sixpence can’t it.

There is a lovely story in news this morning about a hospital receptionist who has finally retired at 90!!

She retired at 60 when rules were different but they missed her so much so she went back and loved it. It is the children’s hospital in Edinburgh. She looks a lovely lady.

V3ra

^...waiting for the day we can finally get out in the car...^

Primrose could you get out if you booked a wheelchair taxi, and visit somewhere pleasant for a couple of hours for a potter and a coffee?

Round here it would be our local garden centre! Coffee shop, restaurant, lots of different things to look at.

Will ask him what he thinks. Thing is we are quite rural so it would be at least 20 mile round trip plus waiting time I guess.
Thanks.

...waiting for the day we can finally get out in the car...

Primrose could you get out if you booked a wheelchair taxi, and visit somewhere pleasant for a couple of hours for a potter and a coffee?

Round here it would be our local garden centre! Coffee shop, restaurant, lots of different things to look at.

I retired 2.5 years ago at age 60. I was working from home during Covid and eased quite easily into retirement.

The first thing we did was spend 2 months in the Far East visiting family and then my husband became very ill whilst we were in holiday which put me off travelling for good.

Did not have any expectation on how my retirement would turn out. So far I am quite content with my life. It is nice not to have to go to work and to have the time to do things properly at my own pace.

When I retired, my house becomes my project, so I am always busy trying to sort out work that needs to be done to the house. I joined a Zumba class, read books, learn arabic, cook healthy food, bake,sew, DIY, gardening.

My husband has problem with his balance and is unsteady on his feet. I have to accompany him everywhere.

Primrose, my younger brother, who lives overseas, had a stroke in his fifties and was paralysed on one side.

He spent ages in the hospital, but by the time he came out of the hospital, he was able to walk very, very slowly using the 3 foot walking stick. He eventually went back to work for a year or two but has recently retired.

Casdon

Yes, it has for me. I impose my own discipline on my time, so I get things done. The only thing I didn’t expect was that other people think I have no commitments, so I’m free to run round doing things for them too now. I’ve swerved joining any committees, as I’ve had enough of the politics, but there is a lot of pressure to get more involved, rather than just volunteering.

This has put me off getting involved with local charities, etc. As soon as people realise that you have time to spare, they take it for granted that you are available whenever someone is needed.

62Granny

No definitely not how I had planned it, DH retired in 2017, got a little part time job working for our old neighbour, then a month later had a major stroke, which has left him with mobility problems, his health has also deteriorated. I was still working but had to take early retirement to look after him. We both had so many plans which have gone by the wayside.

62Granny. We’re in the same boat then sadly! I spend my days waiting. Waiting for physios and speech therapists, waiting for the day we can finally get out in the car, waiting for a really good sign of progress in my husband’s mobility.

Take care. 💐

I’ve loved retirement from the start. I had a very busy and stressful job and it was a great relief to wave goodbye. I had warned them I was going months earlier but they didn’t do anything about it so they were in trouble when I left. Bad luck.
I am as busy as I ever was but with things of my choice with people I like and respect. Health wise it is a bit of a downward slope but things are reasonable and I make the best of it. I love dealing with our extended family now I have the time and always look forward to new members, babies,partners etc. I feel blessed that we live in a wonderful country with mostly happy friendly people ( Even though our local politics leave a lot to be desired) Life is good.

I divorced in 1988 ans retired in 2002. I hung on wanting my full pension, then ran out of the door. I paid off my mortgage, and living in London left me with no savings. Found three very part-time jobs and was happy doing those until I had an accident, could not work and after surgery, my mobility was also limited. Fast forward a few years, and my eyesight was going, so my home is geared for that future.

My friends moved to other parts of the country, so I have made some very good GN friends, and we meet up for coffee regularly.

I wanted to do a law degree, but the cost was prohibitive.

I am fortunate that I have a good pension, can feed myself and keep the house warm like others.

I have had two knee replacements but hope my hips "will see me out".

I do very little but am addicted to this machine.

I am enjoying retirement and making the best of it.

I bloody love being retired! So glad to finally leave primary teaching, and I still get a kick out of waking up when I like each day. Not quite as planned, due to the death of my husband, but have now downsized and am content living alone with my delightful cat. I don’t volunteer, because I will never be told what to do by anyone ever again. I help look after my grandson at weekends. The rest of the time I potter in the yard, read, visit galleries, go to cinema/theatre, take trips to nearby towns, do a few classes - dance/Tai Chi/Art History. Never bored!

Primrose

No definitely not how I had planned it, DH retired in 2017, got a little part time job working for our old neighbour, then a month later had a major stroke, which has left him with mobility problems, his health has also deteriorated. I was still working but had to take early retirement to look after him. We both had so many plans which have gone by the wayside.