Has retirement turned out as you expected it to

Thank you 🙏. So pleased to read your kind words. It has been a rollercoaster but turned out ok in the end.
I hope you are content too.

henetha

Amazing to think that I've been retired for 27 years. The first part was spent travelling a lot with a partner and that was amazing, but then we broke up and I found myself alone.
Absolutely heart-breaking at first, but after recovering and then settling down in the countryside, I am now reasonably content, most of the time.

It’s incredible how much life can change in 27 years! It sounds like you've had quite the journey, from traveling the world to facing the heartbreak of a breakup and then finding peace in the countryside. It’s not always easy to rebuild after such a big shift, but it’s inspiring to hear that you’ve found contentment, even if it’s "most of the time." I think that’s a realistic and honest approach to life—some days are good, some are tougher, but finding those pockets of peace is what matters. Wishing you many more moments of comfort and joy in the years ahead!

rafichagran

Two years retired next month, a few heath problems. I would not want to go back to work.
My time is my own and I have autonomy, I go to my daughters one day a week after School to be with my Grandchild. I breakfast and lunch with friends twice a month. I do the garden, and I shop on my own and call into coffee shops.
I will be honest what I hate is when retirees tell me smugly I am so busy all the time, I am busier than when I was at work. I retired not to be so busy. I add this is only my opinion.
I don't feel guilty being more lazy, watching a series on TV during the day, going on forums, and just reading my kindle.
I am on the whole happier not being at work after 40+ years being in it.

Good for you! I love that you know what you want.

theworriedwell

Not what I hoped for. Been husbands carer for over 30 years but the decline in the last couple of years has been steep. Most days we don't go out, he's in too much pain and too much morphine makes him tired. He doesn't like being left alone so I do some housework and cooking and then I sit here.

So sorry to hear that, is there any way someone can come in for an hour or two to give you some respite. Perhaps your surgery can offer something. I wish you well, we never know what's around the corner do we.

More or less. I do miss work, even today. Probably because I had a job I liked.

I am sorry to hear about your life Theworriedwell, I too was caring for my husband for 2 years until he died. Now caring for my son who is terminally ill. I go shopping, and sometimes to a film, but don't leave him for long. It must be hard for you after 30 years.

Now sitting wondering what answers everyone would give as to "What would I do differently if I had my time again?" as to retirement. Well - if you move to a different part of the country:

1. Having moved to a different part of the country - I would have "hit much harder and sooner" re getting my house operating properly (which has meant virtually total renovation) and the biggest single thing would be "hitting" very hard at getting my computer "back to normal operation" when I moved here. Thankfully, I was used to "normal" and so knew what I should expect - but it took me around 50 call-outs from British Telecom before my computer finally started being pretty reliable. I would have been much firmer about it - though hindsight is a wonderful thing - given I had in BT for time no. 49 or whatever it was on one day and next door neighbour moved out the following day and (local) exact same engineer was back again on Monday for exact same fault - and listened to me properly that time and then it started working normally reliably (after literally years). The penny dropped that maybe there'd been some interference...

2. In a new area - get a back-up Facebook identity - which you keep solely for queries asking for suggestions for tradespeople and never ever use it for anything else/never ever make any comments whatsoever on it (or just put up some pretty cat pictures or something innocuous on the fallback identity). That way you have a "reliable" FB identity to "fall back on" if a "big fish in small pond" decides to kick off and demand you're blocked - just because you had a different personal viewpoint to their own personal viewpoint. Facebook problems because of a couple of "local big fish" made getting tradespeople referrals a lot more difficult and that is an issue if it's a small town or village.

Extra "work" to be done dealing with getting tradespeople and making sure your Internet/phone are working fine can derail plans re your "own life" and, by the time, you've got those problems out of the way/finished renovating a house if need be = can mean a long list has piled up of your "own" stuff to get on with dealing with. I'm thankful I did get right on with it re doing the house renovation (right at Day 1 the friend who drove me here was buttonholing a gardener he saw next door - as he knew I'd need to rip out virtually everything in the existing garden).

Mini health problems that haven't been tackled firmly at the outset (because of distractions) can just pile up. I'm having to tackle them in order of priority now because they "piled up":

- high blood pressure gone = tick
- skin problems = well on way out...
- foot problems still tackling currently....

but there's various others still "on the list" I'm having to research and tackle....

Moral re health being - get on the case right away if a health problem crops up....ie before another one and another one also crops up and you have to find time and money to deal with that one too...before you've solved the first one if possible or at least "made it comfortable to manage". You know you got distracted if there's about 10 of them on the list that need dealing with....

Evangeline

I walk to work each morning now with a smile on my face… nobody knows but I am out of there on my 66th birthday in September! I want to retire whilst I still have my health - there is so much I want to do and so much I never want to do again! This thread has really made my decision watertight- no more 5.50am alarm !Roll on September…

Good for you!

Certainly the thing that strikes me is how many people say words to the effect here of "All these plans of mine for retirement - but now I and/or my spouse have health problems preventing me from doing them".

If you can = get out whilst you're still fit enough to get on with your plans. Lucky indeed are those that have a job or career they like so much that they wouldnt prefer retirement per se....

I haven't found retirement as fulfilling as I expected. I preferred working and the sense of purpose that brought. I was part of a team and had a role. Numerous contacts came with my job and new possibilities.
Now every day is the same and nothing new happens. I've joined various clubs and I do some voluntary work so I've made a few acquaintances but it's hard to make new friends. I feel much more isolated than when I was working, not helped by the fact that hardly anyone phones for a chat any more, people just send texts or emails.

Catterygirl

I’m currently working at my own pace selling our accumulated stuff on EBay and it’s not easy, when advertising clothes especially.as size of sleeve required etc. However it’s very lucrative and worth the effort if you wish to mp Money like me"

Ha ha same here! Catterygirl I am getting rid of stuff we never use. I use the local Facebook site or Gumtree for heavy items. They are free as well.

Sold a big old garden roller and a large mirror last week.

I’m currently working at my own pace selling our accumulated stuff on EBay and it’s not easy, when advertising clothes especially.as size of sleeve required etc. However it’s very lucrative and worth the effort if you wish to mp Money like me"

Like you susieq I left the chalk face at 55 for medical reasons. Good job or I could be in jail by now. At the time I was still mobile but DH was working so needed the car. Gradually I became less mobile and started to become more dependent. We moved to the coast but although the house is the house of my dreams, the location less so. I find it hard to make friends so have become even more isolated, and now I hardly leave the house due to severe arthritis. DH's hobbies are solitary ones so I have to be self sufficient with my own hobbies. We were expecting to be able to do more travelling, but that's gone by the wayside now.

What retirement?
I could have retired last week, but still have to work. I can't see me 'taking it easy' in the foreseeable future.

Not at all, I retired long before DH as moved abroad where I was not allowed the correct visa to work. DH had had health problems for many years and these got steadily worse once he retired so my dreams of spending our declining years together as a couple of old biddies still enjoying life and travelling all over the place ended when he passed away, so very sad for him after he put up with so much in his life.

I stayed retired for precisely three weeks and then went back to work! I do like the extra money and I think it's good for my brain and my body. Now doing four days per week, would like to drop it down to three - negotiations next week.

Like op and others my mobility is becoming worse, after a fall and several operations on my ankle and arthritis in my spine I have been told nothing else can be done to help me with the mobility or chronic pain.
I feel quite down in mood and my 8 years of retirement has been difficult and not what I was looking forward to at all and I can’t except the prognosis I have been given
I’m lucky in the fact I have a wonderful husband and family but it doesn’t stop me hurting physically or mentally (sorry for the self pity) I know that others are worse off

Love it ! Retired at 58 after 36 years at the chalk face!
I am now 74, volunteer at the library, go to the gym, do Pilates, Walking Netball, WI, ParkRun/Walk, travel, cook, read, help at the allotment, neighbourhood watch rep, lunch with friends. Would love to be a Gran but not to be . Got a bit of arthritis, take statins, do housework, life is good as I choose what to do. I feel very lucky .

I walk to work each morning now with a smile on my face… nobody knows but I am out of there on my 66th birthday in September! I want to retire whilst I still have my health - there is so much I want to do and so much I never want to do again! This thread has really made my decision watertight- no more 5.50am alarm !Roll on September…

Yes, love it! I don't know how I had time to work and I regret all those years working late and doing stuff I wasn't that excited about. Now, my time is my own and I do exactly what I want! Brilliant!

Ziggy, congratulations, and hope your last day goes well. I arrived this morning to my office cubicle decorated, and flowers given. I feel blessed to have had a job that I enjoyed, a salary good enough to be able to save for retirement, and a loving and so far healthy family.

The first few years were great ( retired social worker 62 - now 70) . Felt fit healthy and we did lots of travel and activity. Then covid and two grandchildren came along and we moved 200 miles south to be nearer family and took a financial hit that we haven’t recovered from and an overly ambitious renovation project that has totally exhausted us - plus skin cancer treatment, major eye operations and a looming hip op 🤷🤷. However we do not regret the move and the bungalow we bought is now (more or less ) wonderful and will hopefully ‘see us out’ . We sailed slowly up the west coast of Scotland and to
Orkney last year on the small yacht we bought as our ‘holiday home’ and plan to do another trip this year. Health could be better but I’m grateful for all I have got in this ever changing world .

I certainly don't miss having to be somewhere every single day. Covid messed up everyone's life and I've found that people aren't as sociable as before. I've also come down with an autoimmune condition that keeps me at home a lot. I was telling a friend that retirement is rather disappointing. My golden years are more like tarnished years.

My huaband retired in 2016 and is loving it. I am not retired (writer) and will be 80 next month.

GinJeannie

19 years ago we did what so many our age talk about….. sold up in Worcestershire and went to live in the sun in Cyprus! We had 5 glorious years until DH had a massive stroke. Eventually back to UK minus a lot of our savings to fly him Medicair to live with DD in Wales. Eleven years later, I had same stroke. At 77 our lives are totally upside down with no resemblance to our retirement plans. We love life near our daughters in a wonderful community minded village and no regrets that we lived abroad. Just deep regrets health wise.

Oh GinJeannie. How do you both cope? Sending lots of hugs to you both.❤️

You may have seen my earlier post about my husband’s major stroke. I worry that unless he makes a massive improvement I won’t be well enough to care for him for many years. Goodness only knows what will happen if I take ill now. 😢

After 47 years in a demanding and stressful job, and bringing up 3 children, one disabled, I am absolutely loving retirement. We did prepare carefully and I knew what I wanted to do. We are lucky to be comfortable financially too. A bit of volunteering, some interesting hobbies, lots of friends in a close knit village and some lovely holidays. Our health is generally good and we have prioritised fitness classes.. We see family regularly too. All in all we count ourselves very fortunate.

All in