Feeling forced into a social event

This thread was started on the 1st of April. This is now almost the 1st of May. The event was over weeks ago, Aveline went to it and survived. She doesn't need any more advice - in fact, her problem now that the event is over is that TOO MUCH advice still keeps coming.

AAAARGH!!!

Aveline - I understand how you felt
My very good friend has a bucket list , to visit all the big Cathedrals in the UK and her very good son has promised to grant her wishes and drive her to all these places, the first of which was Canterbury Cathedral, this past weekend. For company he invited me. It was tiring for me (5hour drive), let alone her son, the driver, and my friend too, who has RA. It was kind of them to invite me. But once you’ve seen one cathedral, you’ve seen them all, so I will politely decline any further invitations.
I think we have to learn to say ‘No thankyou’.

TheWeirdoAgain1

You don't HAVE to do anything, don't HAVE to go anywhere. It sounds like the hosts are incredibly pushy and bullyish.

Tell them thank you very much but NO, you will NOT be attending.

BUT SHE DID GO. IF YOU’D READ THE THREAD YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT.

Sarnia

Sometimes the things we don't want to do actually turn out to be quite good. Hope that's how it will be for you.

READ THE THREAD. AVELINE HAS TOLD US SEVERAL TIMES THAT SHE WENT TO THE EVENT.

It has happened.

I'm on a roll now!!

Sometimes the things we don't want to do actually turn out to be quite good. Hope that's how it will be for you.

What a shame it wasn’t a good evening after all. Nevertheless, you’ll never have to do all that thinking and worrying again; now you and your DH know you can present a united front in saying thanks, but no thanks if there is a next time.

Like others I much prefer a lunchtime meet up and hardly ever go out in the evening except to our local theatre.

So irritating kittylester. Why don't people read the thread?!

ETT - it has happened

You don't HAVE to do anything, don't HAVE to go anywhere. It sounds like the hosts are incredibly pushy and bullyish.

Tell them thank you very much but NO, you will NOT be attending.

Thanks kittylester. That sounds just fine!

Ah you went?

Let your husband go and enjoy himself. I'm afraid you'd bring a bad vibe, also don't understand why the other couple not looking forward to it. It sounds a bit mean talking behind their backs. Imo.

I know your evening out is over but thought you might like to know that DH and I have just stayed at home (for the second time) rather than go to the theatre. We have now decided that we won't book anything in the evenings - apart from an early meal at the lovely curry restaurant in the village.

We wake up at 5.30, drink tea in bed till 7.30 while watching the news and doing family catch ups. We have full lives all day and like each other and our home. So don't want to go out.

READ the THREAD!! It over.

He is not getting the message because you are not saying 'no', loudly and clearly enough. He has no right to make you go.

Aveline

hollysteers and others I really don't like going out at night. I fall sound asleep at about 9pm. On the other hand I'm wide awake at 5am! I'm a lark and my body clock has always been like that. It's inconvenient at times but usually suits our lifestyle fine.
Meanwhile I've two more lunches out organised to look forward to.

My husband is the same as you and I've tried to adapt my hours to his, though I do sleep later than he does. He's got a slightly dodgy heart and is ready for bed by 9.30 unless he's having a really good time.
We much prefer to go out at lunchtime, its our golden wedding in a couple of weeks and we're having a lunchtime party. Several people have said to me that they much prefer lunches out to dinners and it suits people who have to travel any distance.
I've recently avoided seeing an old friend who is no longer a friend, despite her pushing and pushing to meet. I think that learning to say no is an essential skill, though obviously you didn't really have much choice this time.

kittylester

Do people not read the thread? That's rude.

No they don't!
And yes, it is!

Well done. Thanks for the update. Glad to hear you got through it. Done, dusted, & never again

Do people not read the thread? That's rude.

Nobody will die if you dont go, just say Thanks but no thanks"

Well done....you need never do it ever again.

Aveline

Well we went. The restaurant was very crowded and extremely noisy. It was hard to hear what people were saying or trying to say. I just smiled vaguely and tried to look as if I could hear what was being said but mostly just concentrated on the food. So the meal passed and we all left politely. There was talk of it being the first of many but DH just changed the subject. Luckily, just as we all left the restaurant
a taxi came past and we hailed it and made for home. Phew.

Well done. I have a hard time talking myself into going to dinners - rare that I'd comply. Nice job with big girl pants and vague smiles.

Yes the food was good but in a crowded space with a low ceiling which made the sound level very high and felt pretty claustrophobic. We wouldn't go back ourselves.

A lot of restaurants have no soft furnishings, so there's nothing to absorb the noise. Add in "background music" that's anything but and people start talking louder and louder.
I'm less willing to tolerate that these days.

We took Dad to his favourite Indian restaurant in his home town a few years ago. We had an early booking but as the evening wore on the noise levels became simply unbearable.
Dad got distressed and we had to leave before he'd finished his meal, he couldn't cope with it at all.