Gransnet forums

Chat

To be sad about close family members not checking in

(34 Posts)
Luminance Sun 06-Apr-25 21:29:01

I do hope your recovery is going well. I am very sure it isn't because they don't care. Perhaps reach out and update them. You are in a vulnerable place and it is not surprising you are hurt.

NotAGran55 Sun 06-Apr-25 20:07:08

How are you doing after your hip operation Bea65? Hoping some of tips you were given on your earlier thread are helping.

Norah Sun 06-Apr-25 20:01:09

Bea65 I'm sorry.

Did you tell of your recent op in advance? I don't tell people of impending op, apart from my husband. Sleep is what I wish for - perhaps these people are just being cautious and polite.

MayBee70 Sun 06-Apr-25 19:46:06

I know someone that I’ve been friends with for over fifty years. We have a lot of shared history. She had a TKR replacement recently and I phoned her several times to see how she was ( I had told her that, post op I wouldn’t phone her for a while as I didn’t want to wake her if she was asleep and that she was to phone me if she wanted to talk). But she only ever phones me if she wants to talk about something that has happened to her; never phones me just to see if I’m ok. I must admit that it does hurt me.

Aldom Sun 06-Apr-25 19:44:46

One of my oldest friends, from childhood,is undergoing chemo.
I send her a message from time to time and have also sent a 'thinking of you ' card. I don't want to overwhelm her when she is feeling so ill. But at least she knows I am thinking of her. I shall send her a card for Easter.
I hope your family members contact you soon. Best wishes for your recovery. flowers

AGAA4 Sun 06-Apr-25 19:36:30

Firstly concentrate on getting fully well after your op. You are probably feeling sensitive now which is normal.
I can understand that you feel upset that the two close people haven't been in touch. Could they just be allowing you some time to.yourself maybe. It's hard to know as not sure how close the people are to you.

M0nica Sun 06-Apr-25 19:33:54

If children did not check on me, I would want to know why, more distance family - and I am close to several, not remotely bothered.

crazyH Sun 06-Apr-25 19:09:37

I don’t know what you mean by ‘close’ - I have 3 children. I consider them close and if they didn’t check in on me, I would be very, very sad. It wouldn’t worry me too much if my extended family did not ring me. Some people don’t like to intrude and some people are so private, they don’t like anyone knowing they were ill or indisposed. I know 2 people like that. Me? The whole world knows what’s happening with me.
Bea, I hope you are recovering well. Cheer up flowers

Bea65 Sun 06-Apr-25 18:53:43

Am really sad and surprised that 2 close female immediate family have not bothered to ask me about recent op and recovery..at first I thought they didn’t want to disturb my sleep schedule etc but now its 12 days post op , and still no text/msg either to me or indirectly to my DD asking after me …
Now I’m feeling bitter and I don’t want this feeling…also one of the 2females actually had similar op last year and I msg’d her and believed she was pleased to know I was thinking of her..

Am I being unusually over sensitive or, being unreasonable?
WE haven’t had any cross words or fallings out so am sad 😔