GN makes me lonelier

Lots of love Maw x

I wonder if I started the day feeling low? Sometimes a dream can have a lasting effect which lingers long after we he are awake.
I had been dreaming that DH and I were cruising past the most beautiful scenery (OK in my dream it somehow morphed into a train, but I knew we had set off on a cruise) and I remember thinking these are truly golden moments, life is good and sighing with contentment as things couldn’t get much better.
Who knows.

I’ve just been out with Rosie and spotted that a friend I used to see regularly but I thought must be away as we haven’t spoken since last weekend, is actually at home (both cars outside and in a village you can’t get anywhere any other way)
Shall I message her? Or see if I hear first Not holding my breath.

Thank you for all the kind comments- sorry to be a Moaning Myrtle !

I do hope the day has improved for you. I have no wise words, other than to be kind to yourself.
As others have said not all the posts on GN are what they seem.
I don’t bother with writing about my daily doings, I tend to think why would anyone be interested. If I’ve done something special and I’ve enjoyed it, that’s all that matters.

Also, it’s easy to think that everyone else is having a busy, fruitful, fulfilling existence.

Perhaps behind the scenes life is not always as marvellous as is written about, on the GM thread or on others.

Bit like Christmas, birthdays, holidays…

We all tend to say how great things were, but sometimes, no, not really.

It's OK to feel whatever you feel. Loneliness, regret, disappointment whatever it is.

I'm not sure a big gap between what's going on inside and the outside show is always a good thing. If one can muster the courage to say " I'm struggling" it can help ease the trapped in the head feeling. Could you open up a little to trusted friends OP?

I have a partner, a quiet self sufficient type of person. Brings it's own challenges.

* allira* No. I have never owned a kitten. I have taken home cats that had awful lives, and although I could care for them now, I am about to give up my car, so I would not be able to get the cat to the vet, either at night or during the day.

It would be an immense worry if I could not care for it properly.

So.etimes J think there was something to be said for convents.
Where women could live in a community and work at different things have a routine and regular meditation.

RisieandherMaw so sorry to read that you are feeling blue. I hope you feel brighter soon.

Well said V3ra in finding the positives in your situation!

Yes I arrange coffees and lunches with fiends but feel I am usually if not always the prime mover.

Are your friends happy to accept your invitations? If so then the fact you're invariably the organiser is not a bad thing really, as you get to decide where to go!
(Obviously with due regard as to what other people are able to do).

I used to get annoyed with my husband as he never makes any suggestions or arranges our holidays, then one year I realised that meant we went where I wanted to!
He's not fussy, I am 😏

Could you get an older rescue cat, Charleygirl, rather than a kitten?

A good word Lathyrus3. … contentment.

Yes, indeed. I remember someone wishing me contentment once years ago as she said happiness could not be expected all the time and joy was occasional.

As DGC become teenagers, they tend to spend days with friends and, although they're always pleased to see us they don't need looking after any more and 'sleepovers' are at friends not at Granny's.
No more trips to farm parks or to feed the new born lambs ☹

Try life without any family!

I do not know what I would have done without GN. I have just met two GNs for coffee, and I email three others regularly. I also meet others for coffee or lunch, but the lurgies going around have put paid to that.

My cat died two years ago and I am too old to care for another.

Yes, life continues to change and we have to adapt to it and it seems so difficult.
Think Easter is a difficult time as so many are off on a holiday somewhere with other people.
I can't do much now as my knees are painful and my balance bad.
My family's here at the moment but they are disappearing off soon.
I have to concentrate on what improves my state of mind. Other than cakes and sweets.

A good word Lathyrus3. … contentment.

I think ‘happiness’ is fleeting and lovely when it happens but it’s more rare. It comes occasionally in moments and doesn’t last as such (although happy periods are wonderful to look back on with real pleasure). But on the whole contentment wins hands down. No drama, no anxiety, just ‘acceptance’ somehow of the status quo with a pinch of gratitude for such well being.

Your feelings are your feelings...never feel you should 'give your head a wobble' ....and its easy to say, you should do this, do that, keep yourself busy....but it often doesnt help you feel less lonely I guess ....💐

Is it another of those periods of adjustment? Not being needed for granny duty anymore?

I don’t have grandchildren so I’ve never had to go through that, but I imagine it’s not dissimilar to the feelings of loss of self that I experienced when all the children left home and when I was widowed. Not really part of anything any more.

I agree it can be hard hearing about others having time and activities with their families and it can make you feel low and unhappy. So avoiding all that can be quite a good thing to do, I think.

So no advice really except that we do adjust as life changes, and hopefully find contentment💐💐

Dear Rosieand her Maw, I am sorry that you have been feeling down.

I think even the most fortunate people feel down from time to time.

I don't compare myself with other members of Gransnet who appear to have very active social lives and be close to their families. I usually find discussions that I am interested in and a lot of members give out good advice that I have followed.

I try to live in harmony with others and to be more diplomatic these days but this week I have fallen out bigtime with my sister and BIL and I am sad about that. I will no longer be invited to family gatherings because they seek to "punish" whoever they see as responsible if they don't get their own way.

I have no GCs and my ACs don't live near me and I don't want to move to be nearer them. I do have my DH and we get on well most of the time.

I do hope that you start to feel better over the coming days and you are in my thoughts.

I can't keep up on the Good Morning thread, by the time I get to it, everyone's gone off to have a busy day!

Such a wonderfully honest post, RosieandherMaw…
I read the GM thread every morning and definitely have attacks of envy…. You are not alone! X

Yes, like SueDonim, I had several weeks when DH was in hospital of feeling what it was like to be on my own although the DC were in touch constantly. It reminded me of the years when he worked away for months on end (a year at one time) and weekends seemed the worst when everyone else seemed to be busy.

I'm fairly housebound at the moment and unable to do much and was feeling rather sorry for myself. Reminding myself of all the people who are far worse off than me does remind me to be thankful but in fact doesn't help when everyone is busy or too far away.

I hope you have something to look forward to over Easter, RosiesMaw

Ps am I allowed a whinge? I've a friend who was always on the phone when she felt unwell, moaning about her DH too, and I made sure to phone her, but now she's feeling like a spring chicken again I realise she has not phoned me once to see how I am!

Hi Rosie
I was widowed unexpectedly 7 months ago. I’ve got two teenage girls that now I’m bringing up alone,, but I still feel incredibly lonely. The girls are getting older now but still need me to be around to keep an eye on them.
I’m still working as I’m mid 50’s, which keeps me busy to a point, but not having my lovely DH to spend time with or chat to, it hurs. Everyone else seems busy don’t they, making plans etc.

I read the Good Morning thread too every day, I enjoy reading it. I don’t post as I haven’t got anything of interest to say. So I totally get where you’re coming from.

I recently had a small taster of what life could be like for me sooner than I’d hoped, Rosie, when my Dh was in hospital. We have spent plenty of time apart over the years due to work circumstances but previously, I always had children around to fill my time. Getting up in the morning and not speaking out loud to anyone apart from the cats was quite a shock to me. I suppose it’s also missing that easiness one has with the person who knows you best, the in-jokes, the silly phrases, the points of interest that no one else will be interested in except the two of you.

It’s made me realise that this is what life must be like for so many older people and dare I say it, particularly for older women. I know a few men who’ve been widowed and they seem to get checked up on, asked out to events and generally looked after much more than the widows I know. Maybe people think woman are more able to look after themselves, I don’t know.

Anyway, just to say you’re allowed to feel sad, Rosie and I hope Rosie herself is of some comfort to you. Xx

Yes being no longer needed quite so much I think starts when they go off to university snd grows from there.

I am now watching my eldest GS buying and moving to his new house in the Sussex countryside, and remembering when my AC were doing that and how much we were turned to for advice, help, looking at potential homes etc. Now we sit on the sidelines asking how things are going. The latest mail assures us that they will soon have comfy chairs ready for us!!🙄🙄. I’d be happy to stand, but it is what it is. Tomorrow they are moving furniture and all their stuff, with the help of parents, uncle, brother etc, but we will wait for the invite to sit on the comfy chairs😡.

One thing though they are all invited here for Easter lunch.

But all that aside I think what happens as we age is a natural process of life. I was reading somewhere that it is normal for us as we age to lead more solitary lives, and being alone is normal.

I’m not sure.