GN makes me lonelier

I like the idea of an "alternative gn" thread and envisage The Vicar of Dibley as the patron , thinking of her sat scoffing chocolates in her red pajamas on the sofa!!
I read a lot of gn's threads and learn things and ideas and write my twopennorth in too. I do find it helps to feel part of a group on various threads, not just the practicalities but I do find it hard living alone , when I am having a tough time physically and think it is much better to see what is happening with people rather than dwell on things here. Of course there are things that I disagree about , or wonder how people have come to some conclusion. But on the other hand I am also amazed at lots of very clever crafts and ability to do emojis and take good pictures etc , so it is like life in that you can have friends but not necessarily agree with their points of views all the times. So hurray for all the variety of contributors, and I have been glad to come on here tonight to stop thinking about something else and now can go off to bed thinking of the version of alternative gn I could be. Good night all and a better day tomorrow

I think one of the sad parts of widow or widower hood is not having anyone to do nothing with.

DD said something interesting re Yes I arrange coffees and lunches with friends but feel I am usually if not always the prime mover
If you've always organised, you are perceived by friends and family to be the organiser.

When my first husband died I was in my late 40s with a busy job in childcare, lots of amazing friends, 2 children and GC , life was so busy. When my DD went to university I would sometimes pretend not to be home when visitors called just to have some " me time"
Fast forward to now I have moved, married again, AC and GC all live a plane ride away, tried unsuccessfully for years in new place to make friends but have given up.

Retired 2 weeks ago and have repeatedly been asked "what are you going to do?"
Well, I love my days alone, reading, listening to the radio, pottering around the garden. Thought my house would be spotlessly clean but that hasn't happened.

I'm actually enjoying the peace and quiet of not having my family around me (is that an awful thing to admit?)
Back in the day, the whole family would have come to me for Sunday lunch, Easter, Christmas etc. I really couldn't cope with that now

I like the chit chat on GN. Love to hear what others get up to. Things and places I will never do or visit. I read a lot of different threads and ramble on some . But GN has helped me through some tough times . It's a cosy place to come as I know I am not alone . Love hearing about other people's family,friends,pets ,gardens etc. That reminds me must order my compost ready for when my veg plants arrive and sort out my greenhouse ready .

Hope RosieandherMaw you are feeling less lonely and know you are not alone . You have had some lovely posts in reply to OP. And GN is open 24/7. 🌹

But many of us have been there, Cossy
Add in full-time job and caring for an elderly disabled relative, plus a DH who worked away.

But only one dog! 🐕

I just think of you all in your peaceful homes, then think of mine, four dogs, one husband, one son, 22, two daughters 24 and 27 and one daughter in law of 26! It exhausts me just thinking of it hahaha

The grass isn’t always greener and do try and count my blessings

I probably have the most boring life.
Half of my family live abroad.
I leave the house once a week with whoever takes me shopping.

This thread really does keep giving! I decided to come back to read the bits I had missed yesterday and came across your post about "giving up things" for Lent. 😂😂😂. And Google's explanation 🤣🤣🤣. What a glorious way to start the day - laughing! And I did - very out loud. Thank you Silver brooks 🤣😂🤣😂

Yes I’ve been lucky with the weather, it’s also meant the dogs plenty of garden time with me

Iam64

Allira, I’m lucky in having a kind dog trainer/boarder friend 15 min drive away, who lets me use her enclosure and field to exercise my dogs. I’m well enough to drive the short distance and the dogs can safely sniff n wander as I sit on a bench

Look after yourself! At least the dogs can run round, get plenty of exercise while you get some sun.

The weather has been good, though, but is due to change, just as our DGC break up for the Easter holidays.

Allira, I’m lucky in having a kind dog trainer/boarder friend 15 min drive away, who lets me use her enclosure and field to exercise my dogs. I’m well enough to drive the short distance and the dogs can safely sniff n wander as I sit on a bench

Marydoll

kittylester

I think it would be good if people who have nothing happening posted as well as the ones who have exciting lives.

I suspect, like most of us, that my life has ups and downs. On Friday I had a dental appointment, went to the butchers and Waitrose and had an M&S Cottage Pie, on my knee while watching the new Death in Paradise thing.

That's why I liked the old style good morning thread.

Well I have a boring life and I post. The only things I do are going to church, have medical appointments, visit Sainsbury's and childmind once a week. . A really exciting life.

That sounds more exciting than mine!

Perhaps I should go to church - there's quite a lot of going on there apart from services. Our vicar is innovative.

And everyone else is up at the crack of dawn baking and doing ......

Taichinan
Perhaps those of us who aren't don't contribute to that thread because we're not up at the crack of dawn, are hopeless bakers or haven't anything planned that day.
Or just can't keep up (that's me!).

Iam64

I’m confined to barracks because I had the temerity to go to a retreat in Spain and covid sought me out. I’m avoiding spreading this very unpleasant disease.
The weather has been kind, i have a good book and two dogs to keep me company.
Maw, I miss mr I even more at times like this. I can’t get in my car and visit my family, I can hear him saying - this too will pass, you’re doing well, look after yourself. Thank god for having loved and been loved - as you most certainly did and were x

Lovely message 🙂

Oh, miserable, Iam64.
The flippin' virus is still around, plus other nasty viruses too.

How are you managing with the dogs? Hope you feel better soon.

Iam64

I’m confined to barracks because I had the temerity to go to a retreat in Spain and covid sought me out. I’m avoiding spreading this very unpleasant disease.
The weather has been kind, i have a good book and two dogs to keep me company.
Maw, I miss mr I even more at times like this. I can’t get in my car and visit my family, I can hear him saying - this too will pass, you’re doing well, look after yourself. Thank god for having loved and been loved - as you most certainly did and were x

Iam, I am sorry to hear that. Get well soon.

Monica, not everyone on GN is as you describe, that women get far too dependent on their families.
My children are adults and I expect them to live their lives, without me expecting them to be a huge part of mine. They have successful careers and families to look after.
I had a controlling mother and would never be that kind of mother.
I am my own independant woman.

I found your post a tad insensitive, given the subject matter here. As Hollysteers posted, it does sound somewhat smug.

Marydoll

kittylester

I think it would be good if people who have nothing happening posted as well as the ones who have exciting lives.

I suspect, like most of us, that my life has ups and downs. On Friday I had a dental appointment, went to the butchers and Waitrose and had an M&S Cottage Pie, on my knee while watching the new Death in Paradise thing.

That's why I liked the old style good morning thread.

Well I have a boring life and I post. The only things I do are going to church, have medical appointments, visit Sainsbury's and childmind once a week. . A really exciting life.

Ah but.....there is the rich inner life.

I’m confined to barracks because I had the temerity to go to a retreat in Spain and covid sought me out. I’m avoiding spreading this very unpleasant disease.
The weather has been kind, i have a good book and two dogs to keep me company.
Maw, I miss mr I even more at times like this. I can’t get in my car and visit my family, I can hear him saying - this too will pass, you’re doing well, look after yourself. Thank god for having loved and been loved - as you most certainly did and were x

Marydoll

kittylester

I think it would be good if people who have nothing happening posted as well as the ones who have exciting lives.

I suspect, like most of us, that my life has ups and downs. On Friday I had a dental appointment, went to the butchers and Waitrose and had an M&S Cottage Pie, on my knee while watching the new Death in Paradise thing.

That's why I liked the old style good morning thread.

Well I have a boring life and I post. The only things I do are going to church, have medical appointments, visit Sainsbury's and childmind once a week. . A really exciting life.

Don’t hide your light under a bushel Marydoll because whatever you’re doing you entertain us. We love your novellas! 😂
Things just happen to you or your husband that make us all laugh. Ordinary life … in all its glory! Sooo funny!

lixy

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1242523-The-Seven-Ages-of-Woman

Maw, sounds like you have reached Stage 7, part 1. Funny how life just creeps up on us and catches us unawares. I hope you are having a better day today.

Oops, meant to link to this.

But M0nica if you believe for one minute that I am dependent on my children, or any other one thing for my happiness and content you could not be more wrong, or indeed that I did not have a fulfilling career or now have a wide raft of interests and responsibilities in various organisations such as The Arts Society.
Some people “got” me, never mind if you didn’t.

Gosh, that’s a blast from the past!
I wrote it a week or so after Paw died and I was in reflective mood.

It was not universally popular but I felt then and still do, that most women are “somebody” to somebody else and like melancholy Jacques’ man in As You Like It, “play many parts”
Some posters at the time felt I was demeaning women, reducing their worth as individuals, but was I?

FriedGreenTomatoes2

fancythat

glasshalffullagain

Just as a matter of interest , have any GN succeeded in meeting new friends/ acquaintances later in life? I used to go to Church which gave that sense of connection and belonging. I don't believe though.

Hope for a decent day today.

Good question.
Not my best friends, no.

And there was me fancythat thinking we’d got on like a house on fire …. 😂

Sorry!

kittylester

I think it would be good if people who have nothing happening posted as well as the ones who have exciting lives.

I suspect, like most of us, that my life has ups and downs. On Friday I had a dental appointment, went to the butchers and Waitrose and had an M&S Cottage Pie, on my knee while watching the new Death in Paradise thing.

That's why I liked the old style good morning thread.

Well I have a boring life and I post. The only things I do are going to church, have medical appointments, visit Sainsbury's and childmind once a week. . A really exciting life.

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1242523-The-Seven-Ages-of-Woman

Maw, sounds like you have reached Stage 7, part 1. Funny how life just creeps up on us and catches us unawares. I hope you are having a better day today.

Rosie's Maw look what you've started!! Into a 7th page of people who feel from time to time as you are feeling today. I'm another one! I'm actually a rather contented 'aloner' but it has taken me a long long time to reach this point and even now I can falter. Being alone is not a natural state for humankind and I was terrified by it for a long time. My husband died in a road accident when he was 48 so there was no period of leading up to that point - I actually didn't know whether he would have wanted burial or cremation because it wasn't anything we'd ever talked about. I still miss him (31 years come September, three years longer than we had together).
Sometimes the 'black dog' can be too overwhelming to do anything about, but if I feel it coming I grab hold of myself and hold the words "attitude of gratitude" in my mind. I'm not preaching, honestly, just telling you what helps me. And what FGT said about contentment and how it differs from happiness or joy. But it makes no matter - those pesky down times still come along and everyone, but everyone, is with a husband with their children and grandchildren thronging around them and you feel that you are absolutely the only person who doesn't have that.
I also 'get' what you say about the Morning thread - I often post and then realise that I haven't given any of my news because there hasn't been any news to share. And everyone else is up at the crack of dawn baking and doing ......
Personally I think it's a case of acceptance - this is what, for very many of us, old age is about. We spend our lives lurching through stage after stage, doing everything to the best of our ability, and this is another stage we've lurched into .......
Give little Rosie an extra big hug/juicy treat (and yourself too from all of us fellow lurchers who have followed your thread) and I hope you're feeling better about everything again.
Thank you for the thread by the way - it's been a great help 🫂💐