Should I keep making suggestions to help my 20 year old grandaughter

Leave her to it, you're not helping.

Hithere

Op,

Based on your multiple threads in thr past, you need to drop it.

May I ask why you expect different feedback?

Every day is a school day on GN!

I have no sense of right or left but can read maps and follow directions. I shall study up on directional dyslexia, TY M0nica. My darling husband has a good sense of direction but is numbers dyslexic.

We're all challenged by something, aren't we?

OP is in Virginia, in America, I suspect sat nav means nothing to her. They have GPS, I believe. Yes it would be on their mobile phone.

How about using Uber sometimes?

Op,

Based on your multiple threads in thr past, you need to drop it.

May I ask why you expect different feedback?

She can use her smart phone . Google maps is her friend. Enter departure point ( home address) and arrival point ( interview address). Select "day" eg "today" or "tomorrow", "arrival time" and mode of transport ie "bus" and directions will pop up and give her the time of her journey.

Don't enable her

We’re all different, we can’t assume that any of our experiences match Annie’s granddaughter’s. The OP knows her well and understands her limitations - that’s fair enough.

Given that this is her situation, it seems reasonable to help her to build up the confidence to become more independent. This doesn’t seem to be available from her parents so, taking the distance into account, I’d talk it through in as much detail as necessary over the phone in the first place, to gain an understanding of how much help is actually needed. This will give her the message that your door is open when help or advice is needed.

What’s the harm?

Sorry, map reading, or diagram reading, or following directions

BlueBelle

I think you shouldn’t baby her ADD won’t make her unable to travel on her own She will need to learn other methods and other ways to get past any problems she has Help her to be independent by making suggestions but don’t get too hung up on “helping” because if you’re 200 miles away you can’t help physically she will have to learn her own ways to get round things and she needs to find those ways herself she is old enough

Totally agree with this. And it could be that she is playing on the not being able to understand bus timetables etc in the hope that someone will just take pity on her and get her a car. If you're too far away to sit down with her and help her physically, there must be someone closer who could do it. How will she ever cope with a job etc if she can't even master a bus timetable?

It sounds to me as if either, your DGD has been misdiagnosed with ADD or that as well as having ADD she has a specific neural disability, sometimea, called directional dyslexia, which has to do with people who find it difficult to cope with mapr reading ordiagram reading or following directions.. Can she tell left from right. This is the first step to directional dyslexia.

It runs in my family, DD and my late sister, cannot/couldn't tell left from right without thought and had no sense of direction. I have the left/right problem, but no further.

Anyway, there is a quite easy solution to her problem, and she probably carries around with her all the time. Every smart phone has a sat nav app. This will give you the best routes by road/public transport.

Having ADD is not an excuse for being helpless. It is knowing exactly what a problem is so that you can work out tactics and ways of dealing with it. For regular routes, practice it, again and again and again. Work hard with your at nav, Your DGD, could set herself challenges to navigate her way around different areas. First doing lots of practice at home, working the route out at home, tyring memorise it and checking back, using google maps to look at key places in Streetview.

Your DGD best help with a job is being able to go to an interview and say. 'I have this problem, and this is the solution I have worked out'

In the meanwhile, Here is a useful link www.dyslexia-reading-well.com/directional-dyslexia.html

At the age of 17 I had to organise myself, with buses, which as I lived on Dartmoor I never had a clue about, Trains, well I knew the stations but how do I get to the bus stop in central city. I soon learnt.
At this moment in time I haven't driven long distances and before these circumstances took over I would have driven everywhere. So at 74 I have to build my confidence....
You are not responsible for your granddaughter growing up, her parents are there to help her. You need your money to ensure you are well looked after, can put the heating on and eat well. Sorry do I seem harsh? But if we molly coddle the youngsters will they survive. Not having a car is life or death

My adult daughter had Add. She passed her test last year , she was 32. So never too late. But the cost is very high now for lessons and a car, we were lucky enough to be able to pay for our daughter. If you live in the UK, I believe there is a app that you can use for bus times etc ,

Surely she can go to the bus station enquiries office and get someone there to help her..

I think you shouldn’t baby her ADD won’t make her unable to travel on her own She will need to learn other methods and other ways to get past any problems she has Help her to be independent by making suggestions but don’t get too hung up on “helping” because if you’re 200 miles away you can’t help physically she will have to learn her own ways to get round things and she needs to find those ways herself she is old enough

Surely at 20 years of age, a woman not a child, your grandaughter should be able to make sense of bus or train timetables. I was using a bus to get to work at the same age and was so fed up of getting up early, standing in queues, bad weather I left what was a good job and found one nearer home which was about a half hour walk. I bought a second hand Vespa (remember them) and cut the journey down to less than 10 minutes. I saved a fortune on bus fares, was a far happier person, loved the new job and eventually bought a little car. My philosophy is where there’s a will there’s a way. I think this young lady is not helping herself and grannie should stop interfering it’s making matters worse.

At the start of last week I said to my granddaughter right, your going to get used to buses
She’s 15 and has only been on a bus once. That was with us.
I havnt been on a bus for 10 years.
I told her to download the app. Told her she could pay on her phone.
She bought a day ticket so we got on/ got off wherever we felt like it.
All I have to do is get her to take a bus on her own to my house.
I think that might take some work 😂

I do think it is difficult to give advice if you have not walked in their shoes. If the parents are unable or unwilling to give support then the grandparents have to. I very much disagree with the “it’s not your problem “ line of thought. Sometimes it has to be. This is very much more complex than the ability to read timetables.

But my fear is that while my granddaughter right now is very steady and kind of down to earth and not depressed at all, she does have add and I fear that she will follow in her mother's chronic depressive footsteps if she doesn't succeed at getting a job and does not get the help that might make her successful. Hence, my desire to always help her in someway even if that is maybe interfering in her life.

I've ADD, no impact on my ability to read maps, access transportation, or live my life without chronic depression.

Perhaps you're not understaning ADD, not defined as stupid.

Not your monkey

I'd stay out of it.

Are there no jobs nearer home?

Has much as you love your GD It's not your problem. I would keep out of it .
It's the parents responsibility.

Using the A to B route planner as noodle ut suggests is a great way to make bus travel easier. When going to an interview I have also done a trial run a few days before which settled my nerves about getting there on time.

Maybe you could send her a simple text suggesting just that, and then leave her to it?

Stay positive, interested and encouraging in her quest to find the ideal job - there’s one out there for everyone. I hope she finds hers soon.

anniehall123 I live in Virginia 200miles from them

I think public transportation in America can be a bit difficult to understand. Northern Virginia, near DC, is far better served by bus and train. If she is near DC - perhaps look to VA.gov sites?

We've visited, with our children and grandchildren, to DC for spring holidays. The metro lines around DC have printable maps.

www.virginia.gov/agencies/department-of-rail-and-public-transportation/#:~:text=The%20mission%20of%20the%20Department,reliable%20and%20cost%2Deffective%20manner.

Gosh there are some very helpful people here!!

There are numerous free apps that will explain public transport routes.

If she can’t work out a bus route can she hold down a job?