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Would you tell some one they smell badly?

(68 Posts)
HelterSkelter1 Wed 16-Apr-25 08:57:24

You are right NotSpaghetti. The question was would you tell someone.

Very difficult as demonstrated above after being accused of racism.
It must ɓe done privately. And not in a situation when the person concerned can do nothing about it at the time.
Clothes can often smell dank if stored in a damp place. And we so often hear now about tenants complaining to landlords about damp accommodation. So that would be an awful situation to be in.
Bad breath is another tricky one. Even difficult to mention to nearest and dearest. And can have so many causes not just garlic and coffee.

NotSpaghetti Wed 16-Apr-25 08:29:31

Calandargirl
I think we are mostly answering the question posed.

I don't think anyone thinks it's a good idea to shout about it/announce publicly!

Toetoe Wed 16-Apr-25 08:23:54

Working with a new member of staff in a shop her hygiene wasn't good . I think the young girl was drying her clothes in doors and they also had that dank damp smell . Manager asked me to tell her , I refused so he gave her notice to quit . Those were the days it could be done . No excuse was needed . I've often wished I had the strength to talk with her and she could have kept her job .

HelterSkelter1 Wed 16-Apr-25 08:22:34

Bit ĺate to tell her mid match when she could hardly have time to shower and change her clothes.
I would have thought that was a way of Dart trying to affect her opponent's game. If she felt she had to complain then privately after the game.

Who won?

M0nica Wed 16-Apr-25 08:17:00

Exactly Calendargirl

Aveline Wed 16-Apr-25 08:14:57

We once had a smelly staff member. The assistant lead discussed the situation with HR and was told that he had to tell her. Result? She seemed to become less odoriferous.

Esmay Wed 16-Apr-25 08:11:16

This is so difficult.
Most of us have experienced the smelly person in the workplace or socially .
My Aunt smelt .
She was extremely old fashioned and set in her ways.
She thought that daily baths and changing clothes was completely absurd and dangerous to your health as it was allowing cold air in !
She ate entire cakes and tubs of ice cream
and was very overweight .
At the time I found the consumption of ice cream rather a contradiction to her theories about cold entering the body .
People complained,but no one said anything .
But my mother decided to intervene .
It did not go down well .

loopyloo Wed 16-Apr-25 08:10:20

Would I tell someone they can't spell??

loopyloo Wed 16-Apr-25 08:04:51

What are the English coming to?
Of course not, in public.
A private word perhaps.....

Calendargirl Wed 16-Apr-25 07:54:42

It was a tennis match though!

Would have thought being sweaty went with the job!

NotSpaghetti Wed 16-Apr-25 07:51:20

Surely it's a kindness if done with care.
Sometimes it's a medical condition of course or result of treatment(s).

Personally I'd rather know.

Gracie12 Wed 16-Apr-25 07:47:18

I once had a supply teacher in my school when I was a headteacher of a Primary school...the BO was over powering and other staff were complaining to me about it...I did have a quiet word and the teacher went home to shower and use deodorant.She returned to school later that day and smelt fresh...later I had a deputation from the ladies Church accusing me of being racist as she was a Jamaican woman...the unions became involved but the case was dropped.I have to admit it was one of the hardest conversations I had ver had ..

Pantglas2 Wed 16-Apr-25 07:42:30

From reading the article it appears she commented to the umpire whilst changing ends, where they passed in close proximity!

Perhaps she was just as whiffy but her opponent was more polite…

Granniesunite Wed 16-Apr-25 07:40:02

Certainly not publicly as this woman did. So very unkind and really says more about her.

She was losing the match. Says it all.

Astitchintime Wed 16-Apr-25 07:39:34

Well, if Harriet claims she could smell her opponent from across the court then it surely could be anyone with B.O. in the immediate location - umpire - ball person - line person - audience .......... you do have to be pretty close to someone to identify if they have B.O. surely?
And why 'go public'? Whatever happened to discretion and respect?

Pantglas2 Wed 16-Apr-25 07:39:14

She has since apologised and her opponent appears to have taken it in good humour by posting a suggested collaboration with Dove!

Aldom Wed 16-Apr-25 07:34:43

I'm not sure if I would tell someone that they smell. It would depend on the circumstances I think.
But, should a situation arise when I felt it appropriate to say something, I would be discreet and as kind as possible. To make a public announcement would be bad form, unkind.

infoman Wed 16-Apr-25 07:10:02

British number four Tennis player Harriet Dart requested to an umpire that her opponent should put on some deodorant during a match.The British tennis player must have a good sense of smell.